Millionaire Daydreaming (Part 2)

So making the money is maybe half the fun.

The other half is deciding how to use it.

When you hear about people winning the lotto or a large sum of money, you usually hear about the things they buy immediately afterward.

I have also heard of the depression or suicide that may even come after a large windfall like that. This usually results from poor money management. Those who didn't know what to do with their money before they won the lotto usually aren't going to know what to do with the money after they win.

But they mostly do what they would think people who had just won the lotto do: Spend. Keep spending. New million dollar-plus house in a nice neighborhood chalked full of all the most expensive furniture, cookware, electronics. New cars. A boat maybe. Jewelry. Brand new wardrobe.

And by the time they look up, they've got all the best stuff, but now most of the money is gone - and maybe the emptiness inside arises from them not feeling like they deserved any of this. And of course they've quit their jobs because what was the point in making a mere fraction of what they had just won?

Well, this would never happen to me.

Mainly because I don't buy lotto tickets. But assuming I had made that ridiculous overnight win of over $1.4 million in a Goldman Sachs option, here's what I would do:

-Wake up the next morning and check my "Total equity" statement. Check my "Day trader buying power" which allows me a 4:1 ability on the funds in the account. Be amazed by both of the numbers.

-Immediately withdraw $1.2 million of it leaving the account with $250K to trade with. The ideal amount I've always wanted. Enough to keep my standard of living currently for a few years without going broke (in the market).

-Of that $1.2 million I would take $400K of it and put it in a 6 month CD yielding 4%. I would do this for tax purposes. By putting the money in a CD it would guarantee that I didn't touch that money until at least March of 2009, when I could take it out and make sure it went to the IRS. Thanks a lot for almost nothing in return by the way.

-The next thing I would do is handle my loans. We currently hold 4 loans in order of size: Our main 30 year fixed mortgage on our primary residence. A 5/1 ARM on our rental property. Our HELOC. And finally our car loan.

-Of the $800K I would take $100K to pay off our HELOC. This would allow me to refinance our primary residence mortgage. I would take another $150K to apply to our 30 year fixed mortgage and refinance it to a 15 year fixed. This would provide us not only with a lower monthly payment on our house, but it would also insure that with at least one of us working that we could afford the mortgage. We could also get the mortgage paid off sooner with a shorter loan time frame. I understand that paying down your mortgage isn't the smartest thing to do with your money, but given the times we're in right now I want to be safe.

-I would take another $50K and apply it toward our rental property's mortgage. I would also refinance that property in to a 15 year fixed loan. This would make for a much smaller monthly mortgage payment than we are paying now. We could then drop the rent on any future renters (or even our current ones assuming they stay after their year lease is up) and as long as we kept tenants we could make a nice profit over the next 15 years - even assuming we didn't sell at the end of 15 years.

Still keeping up? We're down to $500K now. Money goes fast when you're spending it.

-I'd take care of the cars. My dad always talks about getting his BMW 540. Well the 540 is no more, but we can get him a brand new 535. Out the door we're looking at around $65K full loaded. I imagine driving it home to him one day, red bow on top and all. Personally I've always dreamed of driving an Audi S4. It has been my dream car for the past 8 years. But then again I've never test driven one before - don't want to tempt myself because I can afford one - I just couldn't afford any gas for it or the insurance. But now that I've got cash available, why not? Out the door I'm looking at another $55K.

-Since I got the car, and the wife already had a nice car previously, we're going to keep her car. But of course we're going to have to spend a good chunk on her too. Only fair right? I'd allot up to $50K to her, but I'm sure she'd even have a hard time spending it. Or maybe not. You never know until you put someone in that sort of situation. I'm sure she'd get all the upgrades she wanted on the house. That is if I was able to talk her in to not getting a new house entirely. Notice how I was happy paying off the house we currently own? And not taking $300K of this money and putting it down on a million dollar home near the water? Yeah, that would be her blog post of how to spend a million dollars...not mine. Anyway, I'm sure she'd get the hard woods in most of the house (which is mostly carpet), upgrade the kitchen (our microwave sucks) and probably find more furniture. Also, she'd be free to spend at all the designer places that charge way too much for everything - without any guilt. Don't even get me started on the possibility of jewelry...

-Of course I can't forget my mom(s). Plural now. We'd have to find something nice for both of our sets of parents. They're all pretty frugal so I'm assuming they'd be happy with spending about $25K for each of the sets of parents. We could probably do a nice big family cruise with all of us.

-Split up another $100K to siblings. $50K to my sister and $25K each to the wife's brothers. I'd like to see the money spent properly though. Almost like mine - sure take a little off the top for a little fun, but save or invest the rest.

$180K to go now. We're almost there...all of this spending is getting tiring. But I definitely would not mind having to make these decisions.

-I would of course throw a huge party for all of my friends. Take them all out. But I don't have hundreds of friends. So at the most I think we could ever spend for a ridiculous party would be maybe $5-$10K. What I really want to do for them though is I want them to share the same love for money making that I had. I want them to hit it big like I had. Or at the least give it a shot. So for 4 of my friends - whoever wanted to, I would give them the ability to trade my money. I'd dole out $30K to 4 different people. Allow them to lose 20% ($6K) on me - which would drop them under the day trading requirement amount anyway. Once (if) they lost that $6K they could give the money back to me, no hard feelings. Anything they made though would be there's to keep, but once they had doubled their money, I'd like my initial start up capital back. If they never doubled it, no big deal. Just having them trading with me would be a lot of fun - having the ability to bounce ideas off one another, making a mini-competition of it, hopefully all becoming wealthy together. That is another place where lotto winners go wrong. They give out the money to friends and just like the lotto winners, those friends blow that money and come back looking for more. I want my friends to make money off of the money that I give to them.

-With the last portion of the money I would max out a 529 account for none other than myself. In the near future I'll be getting my MBA, and of course that's going to cost a good chunk of money. Why get my MBA when I had made so much money? Almost a million and a half dollars is a nice chunk of change for a guy in his mid-20s, but it's definitely not enough to retire comfortably for the rest of my life (obviously given what I would do with the money). In fact, although I might call in sick for a couple days after making that trade to celebrate, I'd still willingly go back in to work afterward. Nope, unfortunately to retire comfortably right now I'd need $5 million. It's never enough is it? Well maybe someday it will be.

After reading through this you might be thinking that I didn't do anything fun with the money. You're exactly right. That's where previous big money winners in the past have gone wrong.

But if I were to do something completely different I'd consider starting my own hedge fund and be open to accepting OPM (Other People's Money). Or I could launch a set of Five Guys franchises in Washington. I could go out and pick up 3 or 4 foreclosed homes on the cheap and hopefully sell them in 5-10 years. There's obviously so many things I could do, but I like to live like my parents - allergic to payments, intolerable of debt.

At the least though, it's nice to dream.

Millionaire Daydreaming (Part 1)

A lot of people say, "If I just won the lotto - it'd be so nice".

And they like to daydream about what they would do with all the money they won.

How they'd quit their job, buy their dream car - the works.

I have the same dreams, but unlike the lotto ticket winners I see the big money in the market. Every once in a while I'll see trades where I say to myself, "Wow, if I had put in a few thousand dollars in to this trade I would've made a lot of money." Of course that is all backwards looking - which is the beauty of it all. It keeps me daydreaming.

Recently I saw one of the largest pops I've ever seen from a trade. But I'm going to be as realistic about it as possible. In my wildest dreams the amount of money I could have made from this trade is roughly $4.4 million before taxes.

But I've only caught the bottom and top in a trade a few times. And never at that magnitude.

I was having problems posting to the blog and since this is something easy for me to write I decided to go with it.

Last week was one of the most volatile weeks I've seen in the market since I've been following it. Financials were getting crushed. Goldman Sachs (the company that this trade is on) had fallen from an average price around $140 a share to around $100. On Wednesday, September 16th I mentioned to my friends that I couldn't believe that GS had fallen below $100. It was a great buy then. I don't know what the options movement would've done but someone could've made a quick chunk of cash as GS closed easily above $100 on that day.

Thursday was worse. Down, down, down it went.

The low it hit on Wednesday was $97. So I would've gotten in around $95 on the $100 call option. I usually wait until a stock breaks below a previous low to jump in. I think a lot of people do this - they wait to see an imaginary support line broken before they make their move. And I would have, putting in about $2500 in to the $100 call option at $1.25. 20 contracts.

And yet the stock continued to slide. Over the next 50 minutes GS went from $100 to $86. My option went from $1.25 to a low of $.40. The way I buy options though is I like to average in when I'm losing. And I average in by doubling my positions at lower costs. For some reason I like to double my option postion after I've lost 20% on it. The option would've blown through my $1.00 limit order and left me cringing down $500 on the trade and 40 contracts deep.

And once I get that deep I like to reach for whole numbers in contract size. Chalk it up to my OCD. I know it's weird but it just looks better to me. The contract then moved through my "half point" at $.70 and I'd pick up 60 more contracts now to give me a whole number of contracts at 100 and down $1700 on the trade. At a contract price this small I sometimes continue to double because it's not much further from $.70 to $0.00.

So throw on another double of my contracts to bring the total to 200 at $.55 and then another 200 contracts when I can't believe my bid gets hit at $.45 and the bids go as low as $.40. At this point I cannot believe I am in this deep. I am sweating in my chair not focusing on anything else other than the tick movements on the stock, miniscule moves of $.13 up and down and whispering profanities under my breath. I just sent the wife an email telling her that I am losing my ass and I am looking for guidance.

The world has gone numb to me and everything just is just a bit more muted. I am now in to the $100 GS call GSIT for 400 contracts at an average price of $.72 a share. In the option now for a total of $28,700 and down $8,800 on the trade. I've got my finger on the sell trigger ready to get rid of 100 contracts at $.35. Just hid that bid and I'll get out.

And suddenly everything starts to turn.

Goldman starts to lunge upwards...Suddenly we've blown through $90...then $94...$96...oh it seems to be cresting a bit.

I've hit the "positions" button to check my option again. In a span of 20 minutes the option's tripled from $.40 to almost my original buying price of $1.20. Wow. I'm up almost $20K on my 400 options. Got to get out...have to reduce exposure. But I'll wait. I'll wait for at least a double before I let some go.

I check back to my watch list and GS is at $98.

I can't believe this. I rode it all the way in to the bottom and stuck it out. I want out of 50 contracts. Maybe 100. Maybe I'll wait until I'm in the money. Yes, I'll do that. Get me out of 50 contracts when I'm in the money.

And there it went. It moved so quickly upwards that I ended up selling 50 contracts at the market for $2.65 a contract when GS flew through $100 up to $101.38. Sold for a profit of

There I was. Shocked at what I was doing. Just locked in profits of $9600 before taxes and still had another 350 contracts profiting me another $65K.

And yet the stock continued to rise. $105...

And closed at $108.

The option closed at $8.90. I had 350 contracts that had gone from being worth $25,200 to now being worth $311,500. I couldn't sell. I didn't know what to do with myself going in to the close. It moved so quickly from $30K to $100K that I was stunned. I kept hitting the preview order button and the option wasn't keeping up with the underlying price...the ask kept going higher.

I couldn't focus on work. I wanted to run and scream about what I had done. The dog didn't understand so I had to wait until the wife got home so I could show her. I told her I had a surprise for her and she didn't understand when I was pulling out the laptop and signing in to Zecco. I couldn't even mask my excitement.

So we went out for dinner. We dressed up and went to the nicest Seafood place in town - Hank's. Or at least that's what we had been told. We both got market priced dishes and felt pretty ridiculous knowing that on paper I had just made $300K dollars. Enough to live off for a long time. We didn't talk about anything else but that and when I got home on a full stomach and almost a full bottle of wine I still couldn't sleep.

Of course, given the weeks movements in the market I was definitely worried about what was going to happen Friday morning. But at the least I knew I could pull out of this making at least $80K. I hoped.

I finally got to bed around 1:30 AM that night, but I still tossed and turned. I don't remember what time I ended up falling asleep but I remember thinking I'd like to pull out all the money in one dollar bills just to feel that enormity of cash in my hands. It seems silly, but for a kid who's never seen that much money before - you've got to understand.

The next morning the first thing I did was to turn the TV on to CNBC like I normally did. The wife ended up working from home since we had a late night the night before - and she wanted to see what happened with the money this morning too.

I screamed.

"Honey!"

"What?"

"You're not going to believe this."

"Oh jeez...what?"

I dropped the remote. My jaw dropped with it.

On CNBC they had announced that this morning the SEC had come out and announced a ban on short selling of almost 800 different securities. A majority of them financial. And one of them was mine. I watched GS scroll by on the ticker at the bottom of the screen. GS 300@$139.40 +31.40.

Someone just short covered my stock up to almost $140. I could not believe it. An overnight move of more than 30%. How did what happened yesterday get that much better? How is this possible?

I signed in to Zecco to make sure I still had the 350 contracts and it wasn't some mistake or I hadn't sold all of the contracts with the first 50. No. They were still there...and still worth $311K. Seeing that much green next to the +1236.11% number made my cheeks hurt from smiling so much.

And still the opening bell was 2 and a half hours away. The market was going wild, up over 400 points and it seemed like shorts couldn't cover fast enough.

"Want to go out for breakfast?" I asked my wife. So we ended up as one of the first couples to arrive at one of our favorite breakfast spots - Seabiscuit, a small family run place about a quarter mile from the atlantic.

After an excellent breakfast we went to walk on the beach because I still had time before work - and before the market opened. We didn't say much. Just held hands and walked through the waves that washed up on the beach.

On the way home we talked about what we would do (more on this in part 2). As soon as we arrived I was signing in to Zecco - about 20 minutes early. And I watched as all the financials were popping. Everything across the board that had been beaten down were now part of a short covering rally. Overnight from trough to peak GS had moved over 60% and my option was going to move at least another 4000%.

In the background the TV was blaring CNBC. Every day I have it on - mainly just for the noise - but this time around I had the volume turned up - making sure to catch the opening bell. Then I heard the countdown...and the bell rung.

Usually options take 3-5 minutes to get trading. Sometimes after big news the option markets open up immediately. Given what had happened overnight as soon as that bell rang and I hit the "positions" button my option changed. I had a plan for selling. I wanted to get most out right away. GS had opened up at $142 so I knew my option had to be worth at least $40. I typed in my limit order to sell 200 contracts at $40, I placed the order and it immediately filled at $43.50. An overnight profit of over $850K on those 200 contracts.

150 contracts left and I knew I wanted to get out at a lowest $35. I watched GS top near $145 and immediately start coming down. The rush of people wanting to get out at that price was huge. And suddenly we broke $140. And that's when I knew I had to get more out. I hit a market order for another 100 contracts. Executed at $39. A profit of over $380K on those 100 contracts.

Already GS had fallen off it's highs and continued to tumble. We were through the major move in GS for the morning. It was 10 AM and I was sitting there thinking about what my purchasing power would look like tomorrow morning. Over 2 million dollars in buying power would look ridiculous to me. I kept saying that to myself again and again to hopefully make this try and sink in. Not that I needed to. I'm sure as soon as the euphoria wore off the reality of having made that much money would sink in.

I sat back, and set a stop limit (which I hate because they only work for me about 30% of the time) at $35 for my last 50 contracts. Then I immediately canceled it when the option easily "jumped" my price down to $34. Get out get out get out I was saying in my head as I was typing in the option name and hitting preview order for a market order...crap, $33.50 now bid..."send order" - executed at $33.20.

And that was it. It was all gone. I no longer had any dollar signs or green percentages on my screen. Just a blank slate staring back at me almost mocking me in a way that said, "Nothing really just happened here."

But it did.

I started the morning making a little over $9,500 from the night before on my sale of 50 contracts.

For the rest of the 350 I sold for profits of $850K on 200 contracts, $380K on the next 100 and on my last 50 contracts a profit of $160K. All in total a smidgen over $1.4 million dollars. Overnight I had become a millionaire.

I wondered to myself if many of the "successful" traders had gotten their start this way. How many of them had had one HUGE day and then had the confidence to just trade with that money from there on.

I had so many plans...so many things I wanted to do with the new found windfall. I'll be sure to map them all out for you in Part 2.

(Author's note: This post was not proofread. Therefore, if I've switched tenses or points of view or made any sort of error, I apologize.)

No posts for September

I've got the posts lined up.

I promise I'll put them up - there will be at least 3 for September. Blogger gives us the ability now to post in to any time we'd like to so people with a minor case of OCD like myself can have their posts spread properly throughout time.

And this will kind of be a throw away post.

But I wanted to mention something that's always bothered me about this blog.

Around 6th grade or so I started to keep journals. I wanted to let my thoughts out - because I had a lot of them. I don't think I thought more things than the average kid did - It just felt better to have them down on paper.

And they're still sitting in a drawer somewhere in my parent's house. Waiting to be read again. I picked up one from junior high a couple years ago and remember the girls I wrote about and all those awkward moments in the hallways. I wrote in those journals up until I started this blog. Every night I tried to write at least a page. Handwritten. And unlike this blog, I typically had something to fill that page with. And it was because I was free.

The whole "self-censored" aspect of this blog was kind of a dig against online public blogging. Specifically blogging about your own life, or things that you experience. Because no matter how private I made this blog someone out there had the chance of reading what I wrote. Heck, I even removed my last name from the posts because I didn't like the idea of my blog posts appearing when doing Google searches for my name. I even dropped the wife's name and only refer to her as "wife" now in my later posts. If people knew about me or were close to me they can definitely feel free to read my blog (I would hope everyone feels this way). I partially write to keep them up to date with my life or provide them some reading material. But even for them I censor what I write. I have never been 100% open with the words I put on here.

And that is bothersome.

Because there are those deep, dark thoughts that I think all of us have. And the last time I let any of those out was with a pen on a college ruled 3 hole punched piece of paper. In a way it's kind of sad - but it has to be done in order to keep just that - order.

And if you're reading this and thinking that I've got some big secret to hide, I don't. It's just the stupid thoughts that we all have about anything, that if we ever said out loud (as I tend to do more so than others IMO) we would be looked down upon. Or judged. Vehemently disagreed with or even shunned. Or maybe you don't think like I do. How can I know? I'm not in your head.

It's just like any normal conversation we have. Do you say any thought that pops in your head to the person or people you are speaking with? No. You filter out your thoughts and (hopefully) find the most appropriate things to say to keep your environment in that safe zone and as sanitary as possible. That quiet ignorance of other's true thoughts and feelings that we all enjoy.

So this is the post where I want to be able to write anything. But I don't. And so it goes in all my posts on this blog.

Maybe this should've been post #1? I think I touched on it a little bit in that post too.

This post has got me thinking now though (shocking and/or ironic) about what life would be like if we played with our cards facing up. What would happen if everyone knew exactly what other people were thinking at any time. How would our relationships change? How would the world change?

I'll end with this: For those that are reading this, take some time to think about how much censorship you are placing on yourself and what your motives are for doing so. Seems like the perfect mind fuck to me.

Short Story

I didn't want to go to sleep yet. It is too early.

Plus my allergies are acting up so I'm going to stay awake until I feel like I've got them under control.

Besides, if I go to bed now, assuming my normal 7 hours of sleep I would be waking up at 6 am tomorrow. And I don't want to wake up at 6 am. I want to wake up at at least 7:30 am at the earliest. But I know that won't happen. I'll probably be up at 7 am. Ah well, what's another 30 minutes?

And I am going to post this in August. Because I didn't get a chance to write my 4th post in August because of the vacation I took.

So here goes my imagination...

Murphy stood there, hands grimy from all the oil and car parts he had been working with all day. On his hips, they smudged off a bit of the crap on to his uniform. Looking across the garage and out in to the world he could see the storm front rolling in. And when he looked up again it was like God had tipped over the bucket and was trying to create another river where his business stood...or maybe an ocean.

Damn this hurricane season he thought to himself as he shook his head in disgust.

The storms down here in Georgia had been frequent, but luckily not as strong as they had seen a few years ago. In a way he kind of enjoyed the fact that a few more storms and hurricanes would be rolling in over the next 2 weeks because he knew what it meant for his business. Plenty of flooded engines. Damaged cars from falling trees, hail storms and just plain old bad weather driving.

22 years ago he had taken over the business from his father - rest his soul - after he had come down with lung cancer. And even to this day Murphy was still trying to break the habit himself.

Guess it's time for a smoke break.

Looking behind him standing under the section of the porch that somehow didn't get wet in even the craziest sideways rain he smiled and thought about how this business had grown from just helping out a few friends and neighbors with their vehicles to now the largest and most reputable car service company in town. They did everything from oil changes and tire rotations to full on body work and engine repair. He understood he was a big fish in a little pond, but he liked it that way. People knew and respected him in town and he wouldn't have had it any other way.

"Hey Murph!" shouted a voice from behind him.

"Yeah?"

"Hey bud, think I'm gonna be headin' out of here before the road washes out." Jim said to Murphy as he pulled on his coat and patted him on the back. "Don't you think you should get goin' yourself?"

"Yeah, just wanted to see if this wall of water was going to break any time soon..." his voice trailed off as the drops beat down harder on the pavement almost in mocking fashion of what Murphy had just said.

"Alright buddy, I'll see you maybe tomorrow then?"

"For sure. Oh and don't bother coming in if it's like this tomorrow too. I'm sure we'll have plenty to do when this weather clears up."

"Can't wait." Jim said chuckling, knowing full well if he wasn't going to come in tomorrow there was going to be some overtime to make up for it.

Author's note: I can't decide how I want to end this short story. I can end it like it is...almost as if it's just an open ended story. Normal end of work conversation.

I was thinking I could end it like this:

Alternate ending: Little did Jim know that those were the last words he would ever say to Murphy.

Author's note: But I think that was a little bit harsh - plus I think even I would want to know what had happened to Murphy in that storm on the way home. And really, I'm not a big fan of trying to come up with something that seems normal yet interesting enough. And the story could really go from a short one to a medium one given that I continued writing. So to prevent that I'll leave it open ended.

A Mediocre Life

...Is not one that I want to live.

And yet I can't help but feel that I've fell in to that comfortable - somewhat mediocre life.

Yes, I suppose I could make the argument that I've got a very good life. I'm healthy, I have a lot of fun and I don't have any other major issues in my life.

But what's been bothering me the past week are a few things.

I recently read a questionnaire given to hundreds of elderly people in retirement homes.

And they continued to see the same recurring theme in each of the answers. It wasn't that people regretted anything in their lives...but that they regretted not doing more. Not doing what they always wanted to with their lives. Not following their dreams.

So I've been questioning myself over the past week (like I've been known to do). Am I pursuing my dreams? Am I doing everything possible in my life to make it my best life possible?

I am uneasy about the response. But that stems from the fact that I'm not sure what my dreams are.

I have the early retirement goal. Which is definitely an ambitious goal and I feel that I am doing my best to complete it.

But other than that? What do I see as my "dream life"? Anything that I would want to do for the rest of my life, even given the assumption that I could anything I wanted to - somehow ends up down the road of mediocrity. I am definitely a creature of routine. Routine is my comfort though. I seek it out. And really the day in, day out is something that actually is part of my dream life - I just haven't realized it yet.

I think about the people I know and love. I can only think of maybe 1 or 2 people who are "living their dream". But it's not even really that. It's more that they had a career goal growing up or going through college, and they've seen the career through to fruition. Are they really enjoying their life that much more than me? That's arguable.

So that's where I sit right now. The question might be too large for me right now. But it might be a question for everyone reading this right now. What are your dreams? If you could have any life right now what would it look like? I am unsure about mine - and I am not sure if I will ever be sure.

The Moosey Star

Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump

BOOM

Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump

BOOM CRASH

This is the sound that I hear throughout the day. Sometimes well in to the early morning.

This is the sound of the Moosey Star.

Moosey Star: Noun. A tall woman with big bones, typically overweight. See Belgian Womens Volleyball Player.

The Moosey Star is amazing. I am not sure if she works at all. I am sure that she is insane. I forgot what it was like to live in a multiple unit building. It sucks. She lives right above my office our bedroom and our main bathroom.

The Moosey Star likes to pace around her house. I think she has wood floors and wears steel heeled boots. Yes. On the heel. To ruin her wood floors.

She likes to "pace" back and forth. And by "pace" I actually mean march around her house, waking me up at 2 in the morning and annoying me throughout my work day.

If there is ONE thing that I hate about living out here, it is her.

I have a few theories about what she is doing though.

-She has a very strict work out/cardio regimen which requires her to work out every 4 hours, even if that means waking up at 2 in the morning and bouncing around.

-She has a lot of cockroaches in her house that she enjoys stomping on.

-She is like Adam Sandler in the movie "Reign Over Me" constantly redoing one of the rooms in her house. Because there are times where I hear her thumps followed by a large CRASH almost as if she had dropped a large table.

-She has OCD and cannot do anything properly without taking the same steps throughout her house over and over.

-She is terrible at jump roping and is not getting better. She falls every time after 5 or 6 jumps. But one day she'll make it to 10 in a row. She'll show all those kids in school that made fun of her.

-She has a mild form of dementia where she is always looking for something and thinking she left it in the other room. Only to turn back around to think she left it in the room she just left. Frustrated, she bangs her feet in to the ground each step she takes.

-She had her feet cut off in a freak roller coaster accident (or maybe while she was a prisoner of war?) and has to move around on stumps. The sheer weight of her 250 pound body pressing down on such a small surface area creates the BOOM noise every time she steps.

-She is trying to memorize all the steps from "Stomp the Yard". Her favorite movie of all time.

-She is part of a Native American tribe and is constantly practicing. But that I have actually heard before (amazingly on a floor above me) and it sounds nothing like this.

-She likes to annoy us.

So on nights like tonight where she has been stomping around for the past 2 hours (and I'm sure will be going on well in to the night) I've decided to take it upon myself to give her a little wake up call from below the next morning.

It gives me a little satisfaction. In my passive aggressive ways...

When I hear that she is up at 2 and 3 in the morning, I make sure to wake up with the Wife at 6 AM and blast the TV. And when the TV is too loud for me I turn on the music. And I let it run for a few hours. I take the dog for a walk for about half the time the music is blaring and the rest of the time I'm downstairs (and like MY MUSIC LOUD) so I don't mind it so much. Sometimes I let my phone alarm just ring...and ring...and ring...because it is the loudest and most annoying sound on my phone, and doesn't stop until I turn it off.

I've heard her stomping around...more forcefully than usual when I've got my volume up. And in my own little twisted way, it gives me satisfaction. I hear her sometimes during the day, sometimes in the middle of the night. I've begun to think that she doesn't work...nor does she ever leave the house. A normal person does not move around their house that much. I would say in a 30 minute period she will move back and forth across her house about 50 times. Yes. It is that bad. What person does that? Who doesn't sit down and take a load off? You're supposed to relax when you're at home...Or at least that's what I do...

This Moosey Star is definitely a head case. Some days and nights are worse than others (isn't that what they say about people with mental illness?). If she was at her worst every day? I'd probably be up there banging around with her and lose my mind as well.

Love thy neighbors? How about making each of us as miserable as possible?

Tomorrow is going to be another Rage Against the Machine morning for me it sounds like...I wonder if she likes it? I shudder at the thought...

"Largest Up Move in 4 Months Time"

Warning: This post will be about the market.

If you find that boring, or don't want to read about it, or have no idea about some of the things I'm talking about then I'd recommend going for a run. I heard the weather's supposed to be nice wherever you are.

Today the Dow was up over 330 points, the S&P was up almost 30 points. Almost all of the US indices rallied 3%. It was a huge day.

And I did nothing but lose money. Almost $2K to be exact.

Now that doesn't seem like much, and I've definitely had a lot bigger losing days in the past, but it's capped off a pretty bad week for me where I've lost a nice chunk of change swinging from profitability this year to negativity.

And the emotion from losing can snowball sometimes. Especially because after the market closed I imagined my dad calling me about it (because he knows I follow the market pretty closely). My mom actually did end up calling this afternoon, but she didn't mention anything about the market.

Here was my imaginary phone conversation with my dad:

Dad: Hey boy!

Me: Sup

Dad: You see that market today?

Me: Yeah

Dad: Well? Did you make any money?

Me: No, I actually lost $2K

Dad: What? How?

Me: You wouldn't understand...

Dad: Ayyyeee...well you'll get it back

Me: I hope so


The shift was slow in coming. And I'm not really sure if the "shift" has completely taken place yet. It was the rotation out of commodities and back in to other things. Tech. Financials. Retail. Anything that had been beaten down with the rest of the market. And it was time to beat up the things that hadn't. So while the market was rallying my favorite stock of the past 6 months - Potash - was falling off a cliff once again after a big down move yesterday.

And there I was, catching the falling knife the entire time. Just 2 weeks ago, and for months before that, I was catching the falling knife on it, never knowing if it would break it's trend line. Luckily for me it never did. But as I sit here right now, the thing is broken. I had to get out. I had to take what I could.

Tomorrow I'm going to start over and try my best to rebuild. I've faced a similar situation to this a couple months ago. And I rebuilt it all only to see it disappear again.

So writing this out is almost acting like a bit of therapy for me. Stan from SB used to tell me that there are opportunities everyday. It's just a matter of finding them. And I also have to remember that it's a marathon. Not a sprint.

I just want to be rich yesterday. I want to have cash to burn because I've never been in that situation before. And I know that investing my money is one way to get to that point.

So I'm going to keep my head up, look back on this week as the point where I completely missed the sector rotation and got burned for it, and hopefully be more aware in the future so I can catch the next wave.

Back to work tomorrow.

The Awesomeness That Is My Life

As I was sitting there scraping off the fried coconut/batter that made up over half of what were microwave reheated coconut shrimps I was thinking to myself about how awesome my life was.

There I was, 10 minutes ago, 11:30 pm on a Tuesday night sitting at a dinner table alone in the middle of a retirement community in the middle of Florida...eating leftover red lobster. Leftovers that weren't even mine to begin with. I only like coconut shrimp when I can barely taste the coconut. So most of the coconut shrimps? I don't like too much. This was one of those cases.

I was thinking to myself how I must be a disgrace to those that came before me because I'm sure they loved coconut. My parents love it. I'm not a huge fan of the taste. Just like watermelon. People think I'm crazy not to like watermelon. Well I think some people are crazy for not liking to eat meat with the bone still in it.

We're down here to help support my last surviving grandma. Well, she is a grandma by law to me, but still I consider her family.

Her husband passed away on Thursday morning. Which was a bit of a blow to me because we had just seen him the Sunday before.

And I was kicking myself after hearing that news.

The guy had seen a lot. And due to cancer in the past he had to eat through a tube and that made it hard for him to talk. I'm sure he would've loved to share a lot of his knowledge with me. From what I had heard from the rest of the family, he was a great investor, and to this day even after his death he still has money outperforming the market. I wanted to pick his brain for a good 30 minutes at least on what he thought of what was going on. And now I'll never get the chance to.

So if you think I was being facetious regarding the whole coconut shrimp bit, I wasn't. Life could always be worse. Or life can be over before you know or expect it.

Sometimes I step outside of myself - this may sound odd - but I almost look at it if I was being taped as part of a reality show.

-Here's Seth reading his book in bed...

*stomach rumbling*

"I'm starving. This is what happens when I eat dinner at 5 pm."

*Seth stumbles through the dark looking for the light switch in a house where he is not familiar with the placement of furniture and more importantly light switches. He touches a glass framed painting and has a moment of panic when he realizes that the painting could fall to the floor busting the glass in to shards and cutting up his feet. He brings it a step further and imagines his wife and her grandma in the local emergency room, looking over him and sighing as a doctor is stitching up his foot. They are surrounded by other senior citizens suffering from similar ailments. What a clumsy bunch. Finally he finds a light switch...woops wrong light...and finally...*

So the grandma has a thing with leftovers. You could say that about me too. I love leftovers. I will eat things up to about a week and couple days later. And I'll still think they're good. Something about leftovers hopefully reminds you of when you were first eating it. Or maybe not.

Well, "grammie" as they call her is the exact opposite. She would rather chuck it down the disposal than box it up and put it in the fridge. I think since we've been down here on Sunday, it's been the first time she's had leftovers in the fridge. How can that be possible you might ask? Lots of sandwiches.

So the wife tells me to "eat those shrimp so that grammie can stop complaining about them tomorrow". Hunger + food available = no more hunger.

Luckily for me there was also a baked potato from the red lobster meal that could serve as my carb. Unluckily for me while I was microwaving the whole bit the shrimp started popping and I had to shut the whole thing down. And what did that mean? Cold ass potato. So the whole time I'm struggling with trying to cut the coconut breading off of this shrimp the dog comes out, nose in the air, wondering what the eff I'm doing up at this time...but I'm eating so she's interested.

Unfortunately I couldn't even pawn off the cold potato on her either.

And yes, I was too lazy to put it back in the microwave. 'Tever, I wasn't that hungry after trying to throw down a few shrimp (with ketchup nonetheless!) anyway. Hah - and the best part of this post? The whole reason I am writing it is because I have this whole deal about eating and then going straight to bed. I feel like food won't digest as well (and I have read things about eating before going to bed - and how we shouldn't) since I'm in a horizontal position. So I stay up for at least 30 minutes after eating (just like how I don't go swimming for 30 minutes after eating) to make sure everything is OK before hitting the sack. That is unless I'm wasted. And if that's the case sometimes I'll catch myself sleeping on the toilet.

And that is why my life is awesome. I find this almost inexplicable joy in thinking about my thoughts or thinking about how ridiculous I would seem doing things that feel normal to me. Yes. All this from a plate of leftovers.

Summer Breeze

Makes me feel fine...

When it's summer in Seattle you know it.

Down here in Charleston you can't really tell. Or at least I can't because I haven't seen the winters down here. Almost every day I've been down here it's been in the mid 80s to as high as 100 degrees. I can count the number of overcast days (not even raining all day like it does in Seattle) here in Charleston on 1 hand.

And you know, honestly I was afraid that being in the sun every day (like some parts of this country) would be oppressive. Especially with the humidity down here. I thought it would get old after a month after seeing how I felt about Vegas on day 4 of a "vacation". But it hasn't been bad at all although I think it would a lot worse if we were further inland.

The reason I'm writing it this post is because this afternoon was the first time I looked around me and really felt "summer".

One of my defining moments of each summer - and I understand it might seem silly to others - is getting that moment when the sun is about halfway down, around 6:30 or 7 pm...it's in the upper 70s to lower 80s and I'm driving with my windows down, sunglasses on and music up. Given gas prices these days it's rare that I feel like I could just drive with no destination. Regardless I took my time coming home from running an errand this afternoon.

I'm sure I could've felt this way earlier when I was here. But since I work from home and everything we need is in walking distance on this island, there hasn't been any reason for me to really drive anywhere. One of the most amazing things about working from home is that I haven't filled up my gas tank in my car since...dramatic pause...April. Yes - it's true. It'll be 4 months since I've filled up my tank on the 28th of this month. And I've still got about 70 miles left to drive on this current tank before I need to fill up again.

I think I'll strive to only have to fill up twice while in South Carolina. I kind of get confused in regards to oil changes because they say, "Either 3 months or 3,000 miles". But really, do I have to go in to get my oil changed when I've only driven my car about 10 or 15 times (a total of 200 miles!) in the past 4 months? I guess I'll have to research that.

Every Wednesday night the restaurant down the street from us, Brewer's Bistro, has live music. And since the river is about a quarter mile from our front door the breeze off of the water floats the music down to our porch. The amazing thing about the music is that the wind usually blows in gusts. So standing on our front steps you can suddenly hear the music as if it was 30 feet away and then just as quickly as it hit your ears it's just a faint inkling of sound in the distance.

Every week that I've heard the music I'm always surprised. Hopefully after this week I'll remember that they're having live music next week. Every week that I hear the music I take the dog on a peaceful evening stroll with the Jason Mraz/Jack Johnson type music in the background as our soundtrack. The island is so quiet at night that the music can carry really well. Usually they don't start with the music until about 7 pm and they play well on in to the night. I love walking to the Bistro at dusk when the music is playing because everyone is sitting outside enjoying each other's company along with the cool breeze. Women sitting in their sun dresses and men in their button ups...the sun slowly falling beyond the horizon and painting the clouds that dot the sky a dark purple. The flicker from the gas lanterns dances on the glasses of wine and beer. For a moment I find peace.

And I know it sounds cheesy, but tonight I just had to sigh and realize I'd be leaving here probably sooner than I would like to. Which was probably the original intention of this post. I'm already missing being down here and I'm torn because I'd like to stay but at the same time I miss home and my family just as much.

So for now I'll just recognize that I've let this place in - I've let it affect me. And I'll try to take advantage of the rest of the time I've got down here.

Sweet days of summer...

Can't Sleep

I can't ever sleep.

I don't remember the last time I slept for more than 8 hours.

Even this morning, hung over after 6 hours of drinking last night, I woke up, wide awake, still drunk at 6:40 AM. Came downstairs, tried to nurse a headache and a stomach that wanted to rid itself of sickness...

Only to try and go back to sleep 2 hours later, with no luck.

Luckily the hangover wore off around 11 and I've been fine for the rest of the day. And I got an hour long nap around 1 pm and here I sit now. Almost 1 am and I can't sleep. Because of the nap. Or maybe because I didn't work out today? My body should be tired. I've been laughing since about 8:30 tonight.

I've read 3 different blogs before writing in mine. Nick, you seriously need to update yours. Your life is interesting enough to write about right? I think in our own little ways all of our lives are...maybe not bestsellers...but a handful of people would gladly read them. I read Pol's blog through once after our vacation last summer. I went through the whole thing again and about died from laughter from a few things I haven't thought about recently. Especially the whole apple incident at the CVS.

Stat: The top 40 US Taxpayers for 2007 made an average of $214 million.

Sick.

You know what the worst part about not being able to sleep is? Well, scratch that. When I go to sleep I sleep just fine. Only sometimes do I wake up in the middle of the night, wide awake at 3 am. Anyway here are some bad things about going to sleep later than you want to:

-You get less sleep for the next day, which will probably require a nap again thus continuing the terrible sleep pattern...ever spiraling downward and never making a new deposit to the sleep bank...only withdrawals.

-I don't know about everyone else, but I get hungry. Every 3 and a half hours or so. Even today for example. Today's been a pretty long day for me. So far I've been up 19 hours and counting. So divide that up by 4 and you get...yup...4 meals. I have eaten 4 meals today. And I'm starting to crave my 5th. It is hard for me to sleep on an empty stomach. And there's nothing good to eat here or at least nothing that I want to cook because...

-I want to keep quiet because everyone else is sleeping. Sure having your "quiet time" is great and everything, but I get plenty of quiet time going to sleep later than most people and waking up earlier than them too.

-They say get your "beauty rest". I am one ugly mofo. Last summer when I scrunched my eyes together at a bar and asked a couple (who looked like they were about 18) how old they thought I was she said, "34?". We were all shocked because she hit it right on the head. Maybe that's why I don't hang out so much in the party scene anymore? Maybe because people think I'm about 5 or 6 years too old to be out in it?

-Getting comfortable. When you get in bed with someone who is sleeping, it's hard to get comfortable because you're worried about waking them up. So, you toss and turn and try to relax...try to shut off your mind and you try to do so without making too much noise. Rarely does it ever work though.

Really I wrote this post hoping that writing about sleep would make me tired. I read somewhere that reading words related to "sleep" will actually make a person yawn. I've yawned about 4...nope 5 times while writing this. Maybe I am getting tired. But I could definitely go for some waffles and an omelet right now. And here's what I've always wondered...

Why do breakfast places never give you those options? It's either the waffles or the pancakes. Why not both? Or give me the biscuit AND the toast. Or maybe - and this might blow your mind - maybe instead of giving me 2 eggs with my breakfast, how about giving me an omelet? Oh yeah, with all the fixings. And how about a sausage patty and sausage links! All in the same meal? Someone call the crazy house...we've got a new applicant.

Hah! I have to stop writing about food. It is making me energetic and making me fantasize about a 1 AM run to Denny's or IHOP. Damn you power of suggestion.

Firsts

I was sitting here on the couch this evening, after a perfectly timed 4th of July weekend thinking to myself about how many "firsts" I've experienced in only just these past 3 days.

-I celebrated the 4th of July outside of the state of Washington. Thinking back I don't think I've ever done that before. And I walked down to our pier a few blocks down the road and watched 4 different fireworks shows light up the sky over the river. It was amazing.

-I've cooked a lot of steaks in my life and for the first time I felt like the steak that I cooked was perfect. Sometimes it's too bloody, sometimes I burn it too much. But for dinner on the night of the 4th? Just right. Throw in a couple beers, corn on the cob, salad, baked beans and rice and you've got one hell of a meal.

-For the first time I drank beer from Brazil. I believe it was called "Xungi". It was excellent.

-I met a guy named "Rhett" for the first time. Perfectly Southern.

-I had shrimp and grits. For breakfast. It was spicy. I had tried grits down here previously, but I felt that with the spicy gravy on the shrimp it was a perfect complement for them. I now understand what the big draw behind the shrimp and grits is.

-I played golf in an area that is famous for it's golf. I didn't play on any special course, but for the first time I feel like I'm in control (as much as I can control) on the course. I used to just try to hit the crap out of the ball and not know where it was going. I am confident now that I can solidly hit the ball 280 yards and hit it somewhat straight. Now finding the ball after hitting it? That's another thing. And don't even talk to me about putting. *sigh* For the first time I've wanted to purchase my own clubs. Craigslist and ebay here I come. Also, in the past I have been against drinking and playing sports. I had 3 beers while I was on the course. I felt that I was able to play better after drinking. Go figure.

For the wife's birthday I went through a few firsts for her:

-I got my first ever pedicure. I've always thought that pedicures were for the feminine...male. It wasn't as great as I had hoped, but my feet do look good. For the money I'd rather poney up some extra bucks and get a sports massage. I can cut my own nails, scrub my own feet and lotion the whole bit for free. Unless I'm getting a pedicure for free I don't think I'll be going back.

-I went shopping for a good amount of time without complaining. Yes. That was actually one of the gifts I provided to my wife. She drags me along to shopping all the time. And I absolutely hate it. This time I shut my mouth, smiled and gave my opinions on what she was trying on.

Rando Post June 08

Today for lunch I ate rice with a leftover calzone from the weekend. And it was awesome. I never thought that eating something like that (pizza tasting) with rice would be good. But it was. Maybe it was because I filled the calzone with red pepper flakes. So spicy.

Today for the entire day for the first time since I was in 6th grade, I wore whitey tighties. I decided it was time. It was a bit uncomfortable, but at the same time pretty supportive. You want to know the main reason I switched to boxers? Because in 7th grade, it was the first time we had locker rooms. We had to change for physical education instead of running around in our clothes. Yes...we had awesome PE uniforms that we ran the mile and a half in. And played volleyball. And wrestled, and square danced. PE was good times. And I'm sitting here laughing about how it took me a good 3 months at least when I was a "sevie" to figure out why girls got red shorts and why guys were only offered the grey ones. Anyway, I was so embarrassed the first few times I was taking off my jeans and whoa - there were my whitey tighties - it was like me and 4 or 5 other guys out of the 60 of us in there that had them - that I told my mom that we had to go get some for me. And within a couple weeks I was used to them.

There was an article today about how people in the Netherlands think that the world will end in 4 years. I have been to the Netherlands. I can see how they think the world might be ending for them. But to be able to say that I've been there before the world ends? That's a pretty awesome feat IMO. Well, at least for a guy that had only previously been to places in North America.

Writing about Europe reminds me that I love this word:

mi·ser –noun
1. a person who lives in wretched circumstances in order to save and hoard money.
2. a stingy, avaricious person.
3. Obsolete. A wretched or unhappy person.

I heard it on my current favorite investing show, "Fast Money" and had to throw it in here. Europe reminds me of being a miser because I was given the "talk" which I knew I would get sometime during the trip. Mainly the talk of "quit being such a cheap ass". Or "quit complaining, this is a once in a lifetime trip". It was just hard for me because I kept doing the currency conversion. While in the Netherlands I paid 4 Euro for a bottled water...which in US dollars comes out to be almost $7. I could buy a 24 pack of bottled water (good water!) here in the states for $7! Sheesh. Are the richest people you know the ones that spend the most? Or the ones that complain the most about spending? I think that's an interesting question to ask of ourselves.

The wife's golden birthday ends on the 26th of this month. Can you guess how old she is going to be? Hella old. We'll be checking out Hilton Head this coming weekend and I promised that I would go shopping with her all weekend (and not complain) and that I would also get my first pedicure (per her request). Wow. It's going to be an interesting weekend for me. And talking about her birthday, my mom just called and told me that she sent her CASH IN THE MAIL for her birthday. *slaps forehead* If all we get in the mail is a card I'm going to just shake my head and sigh...and know she loves us.

Daniel Island is almost a perfect place for me and the dog to live. There are sidewalks and trails that lead everywhere on the island. Everyone loves to ride their bike and go running around the island and the afternoon weather is perfect for it. I am getting in some of the best shape of my life because I take the dog out at least 6 times a day, and on at least 2 of those walks we go for almost 3 miles each time. I run with her until she wants to stop running. And some days she'll be the one that wants to keep running and I want to stop. In a previous life I am pretty sure she was a race horse. I read somewhere that to calculate the amount of calories you burn per mile take your weight and multiply it by .50 for walking and .75 for running. That's pretty solid - not that I need to diet or anything, just being in good shape is great for me.

And without the dog, I'm not sure what I'd do with myself here at home. Having her here with me keeps me from being too lonely. Plus it gives me something to take my mind off of work, along with something to do during my lunch break, because I never use my full amount of time eating. I'm amazed that we've already been out here for 2 months. It's going to be hard going back during the dead of winter, especially if I can't work from home when I get there.

I am currently watching the NCAA world series. This is my thing you know. Turn on the tube, watch for about 30 minutes to an hour of something that I DVR. Pay full attention to what I DVR for about 20 minutes and then go grab the laptop and have the TV on in the background. The University of Georgia and Fresno State are playing and the score is 18 to 10 in the bottom of the 8th inning. Christ. It's like watching one of my softball games. I just expect each batter to get a hit. I guess that's what happens when the guys are using metal bats...I really miss softball. My buddy was telling me how he's probably going to be in 3 different leagues this summer. I just want to be in one right now. Just one night a week on the field and I'd be happy. I have to wait for the new leagues to start up in August.

I'm going to end this post with a quote.

"The reason a lot of people do not recognize opportunity is because it usually goes around wearing overalls looking like hard work."
-Thomas Edison

8 and 5/6th days

Is how far I made it.

Weak willed.

But I think that's the longest I've gone for years.

I just couldn't see the point of it anymore. This is not like something that is unhealthy for me. If it was something like smoking or drinking - then yeah, I would definitely try a lot harder.

I gave it a shot, I hated it. Maybe when I get older I can try again - in fact, when I am older I'll probably do it without knowing it. Scary.

On completely unrelated notes (cause there's really not much else to say about giving up the 30 day challenge), the Lakers are down 3-1 in the NBA finals now. Which are actually playing on the TV in front of me.

I woke up this morning at 1:54 AM. And I couldn't sleep until about 4 AM. Now I am exhausted. But I'm going to stay up just to see if the Celtics pull off the NBA championship. Damn you Boston.

You already had the Patriots. Then you got the Red Sox. And now you're going to pull the Celtics on us too? Ridiculous. Seattle's last real championship happened before I was born. Great. I'm just going to keep my fingers crossed for ONE big three championship in my lifetime.

Tomorrow marks expiration week in the market.

It should be interesting times. I'll check in again when it's over.

Day 7

I've made it this far.

And I wouldn't have posted if it hadn't been so challenging.

This morning I really felt like giving up. In fact, by this afternoon I had basically decided with the wife that I was going to bow out of the challenge.

But - after dinner, a little shopping, and a long walk with the dog, there wasn't really time. I mean, there was time. But I felt a little guilty giving up this early. In fact, I felt a lot guilty. And when it comes to this sort of thing, I feel like women can be so fickle.

With men, it's a switch. With the flip of a switch we are ready to go. But whatever.

In an hour I've made it to day 8.

And I want to turn it off. I want my switch to be turned off and I don't want to think about it at all. I am angry with myself about how I haven't been able to shut down. I should have the will power to not only go for 30 days, but for as long as I want. Maybe I should resolve to do that. To completely give up craving the flesh.

I want to go from "loving on" to "loving off" starting tomorrow. And I think I've got a bit of anger on my side now to help out.

But of course there's always going to be this reocurring thought in the back of my head that really this is all so stupid...

The 30 Day Experiment

Well more of a challenge.

After reading through the Style Diaries, I felt like it might be something I could try.

I haven't gone more than 5 days without it.

And that is...going.

Not like the daily going. Well, I guess it is - was daily for me - but more like the kind your body doesn't require.

So 4 days ago on June 4th, 2008 a few guys and I took the plunge. So far I don't think anyone has given in.

I think for myself, I wanted to see what happened. To see if my will power - my mind - was stronger than my physical needs. And I'd like to say that they are. But I'm only 4 days in.

And in those 4 days, I have already had a hard time. It honestly wouldn't be so tough if I was living in Seattle. The weather back home is terrible. 50 degrees and cloudy and raining. No bikinis. No beaches. No 95 degree and blue sky weather.

So, I'll be doing updates throughout the 30 days. I'm going to try my best to make it. I've been testing myself already - putting myself in compromising positions to see how I hold up.

And after 4 days, I'd like to share what I've learned and what's happened to me:

-Some of the things I do are out of pure habit. I do it because it's normally what I do in the morning or at night. So breaking this habit should be just like any other habit. Once I pass the first hurdle of stopping myself from my habit then it should be smooth sailing from there. I just never thought I was a habitual...goer.

-I have loved on the wife a lot more during this time. And by "loved on" I mean a lot more affectionate. Way more kissing, hugging.

-My balls sag a lot lower than I thought they would. Or maybe that's all in my head that things are starting to get "heavy" or "weigh down on me".

-I've noticed a lot more skin on TV than before. Especially in movie trailers. Like I wonder how many people will go to see Angelina Jolie's latest movie because it shows the upper half of her exposed back. A week ago I wouldn't have really cared about seeing something on TV like that. But tonight I really noticed it.

-I feel like the kleenex boxes in the house are taunting me.

-I suddenly had a huge craving for pop. I wanted sprite. I wanted root beer. I went out and bought all three versions of the democracy but have only drank two of them so far. But then I realized it wasn't just a craving for carbonated sugar water. It was a craving for all things sweet. I bought chewy chips ahoy. I bought a cinnamon roll. I bought 2 kinds of ice cream and even got a scoop of ice cream at the local shop. Is this me replacing one habit with another? Maybe it's just me over thinking it. I hope this craving for sugar stops within the next couple days though. I don't want my body to take too much more of it.

And other than that, really there hasn't been that big of a difference in my life. Yet.

But I'm watching the Celtics beat the Lakers in Game 2 of the NBA finals partly due to poor officiating. And instead of continuing to think about the 26 days ahead of me, I'm going to pay full attention to that. Expect more updates - even if I do fail.

The South Has Changed Me

After being here more than a month (I know - such a long time - psych) I am already beginning to notice changes in myself which I didn't think living in another area of the country would actually do to me.

This is going to be a short post because I don't really feel much like writing. I just kind of had a "moment" at Costco (of all places) when I realized the South was starting to morph me in to something the Seattle version of me wouldn't realize.

At Costco as we were shopping for our random items that we need a LOT of - namely paper towels and toilet paper - we passed the clothing area which they so perfectly place in the middle of everything. And the clothes are so damned cheap too. It's hard not to pick up a $20 polo or $15 pair of cargo shorts.

But what caught my eye this evening was...boat shoes. I know. Only people over 50 wear them. Like my dad. But, I was thinking to myself - it's hard to look somewhat dressy in shorts and a polo. I mean, I've got my rockports. But I have to wear socks with them. And just the image of shorts, black socks and my rockports makes me cringe. Then I've got my flip flops and my trainers. Too casual.

But boat shoes. They are perfect.

And if you're not sure what I'm referring to, here are the ones that I bought tonight.

They really hit the go between - not casual, but not dressy. Perfect for an evening out for dinner downtown in 90 degree temps.

And I don't mind if people laugh at me - they're just like my old people sunglasses. It's part of my "charm".

Another thing the South has changed about me is that I have now watched a full episode of "America's Most Wanted". Why? Because I have driven through the cities that these criminals might currently be in. I could be the lead eye witness to catching someone that has been running from the law since late 2007. You never know.

The food down here spoils so quickly. I think it is the heat. Or the humidity. In the Northwest you can keep your cereal, bread, bananas and all that good stuff out for almost 2 weeks. Here that 2 weeks is cut down to 4 days or less. You know how most bagel bags come with 4 to 6 bagels? I'm now opting for the 4 bagel bags because by the time I get to that 6th bagel it'll have mold on it. And instead of buying my bananas in a big bunch of 7 like I normally do, I now buy them in bunches of 4. I was surprised at how quickly things turned down here. I guess not everything is slower down South.

All I want to do is play golf. Take golf lessons. Go to the driving range. In fact, I was just looking at a set of clubs at the Nike store tonight. Expensive, but awesome. I've only played one round of golf so far, but after being out in that heat and playing my heart out (shot 40 over - ouch) I am excited about hitting the links again. In Charleston since they have so many courses out here the green fees are minimal. $12 will get you a round of 18. If you go during the heat of the day or late in the afternoon it can be cut down to $7 or less. Which is pretty ridiculous when you're spending about 3 hours out on the grass.

I've always liked golf. But right now it is my #1 sport. I'll have to convince the wife that I need a set of clubs over the next month...

The European Experience

For the past 2 weeks I have traveled across much of Western Europe with 50 other people. In a bus.

It was an amazing time.

We started in London, went through Belgium, the Netherlands, Germany, Austria, Italy, Switzerland and finally France.

Near the beginning of the tour, our tour manager had mentioned the “European Experience”. I can’t remember exactly what he said, but it came across this way to me: Anytime I had that “wow” moment – and for me specifically it was, “wow – this is different from what I’m used to” that was a European experience.

Now, most of what I write here may seem negative – or like I’m bashing the European experience. It’s partly cause I am. I am a snob who grew up in America and like to be as comfortable as possible and get everything the way I want it as soon as I want it. And for free.

But over a sushi dinner tonight (go figure in Charleston – and it was excellent) I was describing a few of the things I found different about places in Europe than we had here in the states.

I think the first thing that really caught me off guard was the rest stops.

In the European Union, commercial drivers cannot drive for longer than close to 4 hours without taking a 45 minutes break. I don’t think this is the case in the US – for us if you can drive safely – you should continue working (but I’m not sure because I’ve never talked to a semi truck driver about his work).

Given this rule, it makes for some pretty amazing rest stops. They are basically what would happen if 7-11 and something like an Arby’s slept together and had a baby. Well not really, because it would be about 6 times their size.

I couldn’t believe their rest stops. I mean Europe really caters to their drivers I guess. Hot food, cold food, all the magazines and books – travel items, candy, chocolate, drinks (even beer and wine!).

After driving across the United States – this was amazing to me. Because I thought a nice rest stop meant it had a nice patch of grass next to a few disgusting toilets. As far as rest stops go, Europe definitely destroys us.

But here’s the kicker: Good luck finding a public rest room that you can use for free.

That was another shocker for me. Every time we would pull over to use the “Wash Closet” and yes – that is what they are called – we’d have to either tip the women who were working in the bathroom (I guess they live there?) or we’d have to pay a fee to an automated machine like when you get on the subway.

It was 50 Euro cent every time! Roughly 81 US cents! And since most everyone reading this right now knows how strong my bladder is – that can really start to add up.

Knowing that I had to pay to use the bathroom now made my bathroom trips much more strategic. I would wait as long as I could at those rest stops – to insure I didn’t have to go twice. And I’d also wait and eat hoping that shoving food down my pie hole would make waste come out the other end. Because paying almost a dollar to use the Wash Closet to go number 2 would definitely be worth it.

And while we’re on the topic of doody I’d like to share a few related European experiences regarding it.

The rest stops in Italy did not have toilet seats. Actually, looking back on it, a lot of the “public” toilets didn’t have toilet seats. Luckily I only had to lay cable twice in the presence of a porcelain king without a crown. Much respect to the other ladies out there that squat. I was in defensive position for about 5 minutes and thought my thighs were going to break. Yes. Break.

After my first experience squatting I came out of the Wash Closet sweating. And thinking aloud to my friends that I would become a wealthy man in Italy by selling them these things called “toilet seats”. They ensure that your everything doesn’t touch what’s in the toilet.

Which brings me to my next European experience. I guess they are fine with falling in every time they go to the bathroom…because…they have the bidets! I was afraid of the first one I saw in London. But as soon as I got to Italy I was ready for it. Or at least I thought I was.

My initial thought on the bidet was that if I was ever that dirty, I would just take a shower. And, unfortunately for the bidet, my initial thought was right. After my first time using one (mainly for fun and just to try) I stood up, soaked from the back to my balls to my inner thighs and dripping on to my boxers thinking, “Great, I just took a shower only in that portion of my body”. And to my horror I still grabbed a piece of toilet paper and wiped back there…the bidet had done nothing by leave me with wet undies. At first it was pretty cool though. I think the feeling that a bidet gives you alone is worth using it. I was like a little kid who finally learned how to ride his bike without training wheels. Except I was a grown man splashing water on his ass in the bathroom. So I guess they’re not even close.

And that again almost segues perfectly in to my next few European experiences. They don’t fool around with their water temperature there. A few times I had to pull my hand either out of the sink, shower or ass out of the bidet because the water was almost at boiling temperature. Here in the states I believe we have a “max hot” point. At a few of the hotels we stayed at in Europe, I think they just let that fire boil that water. Maybe this stems from the plague? They want to make sure they kill all of your germs while giving you 3^rd degree burns every where else? I don’t know. Anyway, I was shocked at how hot the water got in some parts of Europe. And surprised that more people didn’t burn themselves with the tap.

To go with the hot water, I think out of all the hotels we stayed in, only about 20% of them included shampoo. So I was sitting questioning myself…Alright, how am I supposed to wash my hair? And for about a week I washed my hair with the bar of soap. And after using just that normal soap my hair started to get crunchy. I remember in Germany I reached up to scratch my head and it was more like my hair was scratching my hand instead. It was definitely not the smooth afro I was used to. After that I stole Pol’s pert plus and used it the rest of the trip. I figured he didn’t need it since his head was shaved anyway.

Air conditioning. I believe we had one night of aircon in Europe. And you’ll never believe where it was. It was in the BEST WESTERN in Florence. Yes. I had to stay in an American based hotel in order to get my air conditioning. The rest of the time I was sleeping in my boxers on top of the sheets and hoping for the cool night breeze to come. Which it did a few nights (thankfully). Earlier today I was talking about how I wished we had gone to Europe during the mid to late summer. After writing this I’m actually glad we did not. Maybe it’s some big sort of conspiracy? Maybe the locals have air conditioning but they want the tourists to suffer? That could be a possibility. Before we left for our respective areas of the US – we were sitting the Charles De Gaulle airport sweating our asses off. I don’t think I have sweated more on a “vacation” than I have on this past one.

The autobahn. I watched cars fly by us at at least 100 mph. Mercedes mini vans for Christ sakes. And everyone out there drives either a smart car or what I would consider between a golf and a Volvo station wagon. All very odd people carrying cars. Of course I saw a lot of Ferraris, high end Mercedes and BMWs and heck, even the Fords and Toyotas that they had in Europe looked nice.

Bikes. I have never seen so many freaking people riding their bikes in my life before. I believe the Netherlands holds the record for the largest bike rack on earth. It was at least 4 stories. And amazing. The land is so flat in parts of Europe that people can easily get around just riding their bike. It’s healthy, good for the environment and fun to do. Sounds like a win all around to me. But here’s the thing about those areas: Where the pedestrian gets the right of way in the States, that’s not the same in some parts of Europe. I was nearly run over a few times because I wasn’t watching. Yes! It was my fault for stepping in front of a bicyclist. Wild.

The drinking age. I believe the drinking age in Italy was 16. But they had some crazy rule about how 16 year olds could only drink beer and nothing hard until they were 18. Tell you what – if they had that same sort of law in the states I would’ve looked 18 by the time I was 14. It was pretty amazing to me while I was sitting at a bar in Venice singing the Italian futbol theme song when I turned around to here some kid who was almost half my age correct me on how I was singing it. I have a cousin who is turning 16 this winter. I can’t imagine him sitting next to me at a bar and pounding beers with me in the next few months. These kids – that’s what they were. Just kids. Yet another one of those “Wow” moments.

And that right there is almost three and a half pages of writing about the tiniest differences between the States and parts of Europe. But for me they made all the difference. I’m sure there is a lot more that I thought of and wanted to write, but am forgetting…but this post is long enough already. If I come up with more I’ll make another post because I’ve got 2 more to go in less than a week!

(This post was not proofread out of laziness)

The Re Low Kay Shun

I started writing this post 2 weeks before we left for Charleston. We have now been here for a week on Tuesday. So if it seems a little bit out of order, it is. It took me 3 different attempts to finish this post - and reading through it I definitely know things are chronologically confusing.

Wouldn’t it be weird if every thing we wrote was spelled out phonetically? It would be. It would also be weird if I had written out every thing in this blog post that way. But I’m not going to. Because it’s too tough/annoying. And I’m blogging from work, so I want to write as quickly as possible so I can finish this before I’m on my way home.

Over the past 2 months the wife has been offered a few relocation opportunities. The company she works for (BA) is having trouble with their newest product line – go figure. They outsourced a lot of the work and of course they’re having issues. So now they’re scrambling to send people abroad – not that I honestly think it will help much.

She’s been offered Italy and Japan. And both times we had to decline. Mainly because they were not offering us a full year relocation – which meant that we weren’t going to be receiving the extra perks associated with relocating to another part of the world – mainly having the home you currently own paid for by the company while you live abroad – on top of them paying for your current place of residence.

And the only way we were going to survive is if I got a job in Italy or Japan – and since I don’t speak either of those languages, I don’t think it was going to fly.

The offer came through 2 weeks ago for Charleston, South Carolina. Given that it’s in the states and I might be able to work remotely out in SC (and will start working remote this week), we’re going to go ahead and pick it up.

I’m sure this post will be the first out of a multi-part series based on the relocation. There’s plenty of details I can hash out later on – and I’m sure I’ll be blogging more as soon as I get there (oh the things I’ll see!).

But for this post I wanted to write about the things I’m going to miss while I’m out in SC. Right now the assignment is 6 months – but I can almost guarantee that if provided the option (and maybe extra pay?) we might stay another 6 months (or longer) dependent upon whether we like it out there.

This is all happening so quickly. So it’s hard for me to adjust emotionally (such a wuss) knowing that I’ll be driving across the country in 2 weeks.

Last night I vacuumed the house (I hadn’t vacuumed in about 2 months – I usually do so once a month) and as I was vacuuming I realized this would be the last time that I would be vacuuming the house for some time. Not that I would miss vacuuming – but the fact that I wouldn’t be doing this act – along with mowing the lawn, taking out the trash, washing and putting away the dishes...so many of the daily things that we all do - that really I think we kind of don't recognize as being something special - because they are so routine.

On the drive out to the East Coast, about 2 days in, the wife and I were talking about things we were going to miss most about being in our house for the summer.

And for me, it was this:

We have the pond in our backyard. I get a good view of it from my office. I will have no view from my new office - but oh well.

Over the summers (the hot nights) I can't sleep until the weather has cooled down a bit. Which is usually around 10:30 or 11 pm or so.

So what I'll do is take a cold shower (not because of the reason you're thinking) around 9, come out, put on the basketball shorts and cutoffs and get a glass of ice cold water. This reminds me - I'm going to miss our French door fridge. It is pretty great when the temperature is getting up there to open up both doors and basically just stand in the 30 degree fridge. (Because you have to at our house in order to get ice and water). Anyway, I'll head back upstairs with the glass of ice water in hand, and I'll set up the fan aiming directly at my back.

I'll open up the window in front of me as wide as it will go, and listen to the chorus of frogs and crickets sing the night away.

And there I'll sit. While I cool off from the summer day. Whether it be blogging, or reading the net, or playing my Xbox - that's probably some of the best "me" time I get every summer night.

I don't know if I'm going to get that this summer. It seems like air conditioning is a requirement down here. And after spending a day out in the humid 87 degree heat today, I can understand why.

Just like up in Seattle how we keep our windows and doors shut to the outside to keep the heat in - I'm sure we'll be doing the same down here but instead to keep the heat out. But at least we're not the ones paying for the "heating" bill down here. But air conditioning to me just makes the air so stale. I suppose it will take some getting use to over the next few months.

I'm obviously going to miss my friends and family back home.

It's already hard for me to talk on the phone to my parents. I know they miss us. I definitely miss them. There's such a security blanket - which I knew was there but am only now beginning to realize how much I relied upon it. My parents were less than a 10 minute drive away from me at all times. Now I really don't have anyone to turn to. My family and a few friends - they were automatic. In a phone call we could be together. And now that's obviously not the case. Puts a knot in my stomach.

I'm going to miss the softball. Last year was my first full summer of playing softball. I had played baseball until my early teens and played some pick up baseball and softball whenever possible - but last summer I played from mid April to September. And I realized how much I had missed the fields - throwing the ball around - hitting and fielding.

The BBQs are another thing I've just come to expect while living out in Seattle. Everyone getting together, having a few beers and throwing some beef on the grill. Or maybe oysters. Since we just finished building our fence before we left I was thinking we were going to have a pretty solid back yard for entertaining purposes. I even replaced the propane tank so I was prepared for 3 or more stupendous months of grilling. And don't even talk to me about all the drinking I'm going to miss out this summer without all my drinking buddies.

I'm going to miss Husky football. Husky sports alone should have it's own post dedicated to it.

And although there is plenty of water around me - it's definitely not the same as what I had in Seattle. I'm going to miss Lake Union, Lake Washington, Greenlake - the San Juans, Alki...IMO those things are one of the major reasons Seattle residents put up with so much crap...Because anywhere you are in Seattle - you're only minutes away from a stunning view.

I already am missing the food. Tonight we went to a local grocery store and they didn't have either of the kinds of rice I like. I'm sure the rice we bought will be just fine, but if it turns out poorly, I'll know why. There's definitely no teriyaki out here. There's Chinese, but it's all Americanized crap. No Thai. No Mongolian. No modern/fresh mex. No good sushi. No Costco for 100 miles. No Taco Time. No Mcmenamin's/McCormick's or any other place that we loved to go to happy hour. But I have already found a few good places to eat after only a week of being here - so I'm hopeful I'll fill up that roster again.

I think that's good enough for now. Maybe I'll write another post like this come October and see how my thoughts have changed over the few months that I'll be here. We've finally moved in to the house we'll be staying in until at least Halloween. Crazy - I'm sure the kids will be dressed up and knocking on our door before I know it.

The Hotel Life

Our house won't be available until the 6th of May, so until then, that'll mark the longest consecutive amount of time that I've lived out of a hotel.

Hotel living is kind of odd.

I never feel completely comfortable, mainly because I am always thinking about people that have walked on this carpet before me.

Someone that's used this shower before me.

And the sheets.

And the towels.

I'm not a germaphobe by any means, but just the thought that possibly hundreds of people have been through here just kind of grosses me out.

And I know - the housekeepers come through and vacuum and put in clean sheets everyday, but even that in itself is weird.

I mean, imagine (for those of us who don't have maids or butlers or servants) someone coming in to your house every afternoon, replacing the sheets and pillows on your bed and giving you new towels for the next day? Kind of weird.

Over this past road trip, and right now, I have stayed in a La Quinta (good for the money), Westin (terrible for the money), Sheraton (also terrible), Hampton Inn (pretty good) the Oxford Inn - which was also nice, and now the Residence Inn - which is probably the best I've been in over the past week.

The nice thing about this Residence Inn is that they do a free breakfast (and not the standard continental kind - the better than IHOP kind) and on top of that they do free beer and dinner from 5:30 to 7:30.

We have taken full advantage of the breakfast and dinner (and beer for me) for the past 2 nights that we've been here.

Who wouldn't? I mean breakfast at the cheapest is usually $8 for us - if we're eating at a place like McDough - and Dinner is at the cheapest twice as much. Why not save the money and eat off the hotel's dime?

I personally was questioning how they could afford feeding us two meals a day. I mean, there are 4 floors in this building with at least 50 rooms per floor. That's a lot of effing mouths to feed. (And a lot of beer and wine too!)

Another thing for me about feeling weird in hotel living is that I know it's temporary. I know I won't be here for even longer than 2 weeks. And knowing that, I can't really make it my own. It's definitely not my furniture. And I'm not going to tack up any posters on the wall or play my music as loud as I want to. There are people across the hall and above me that I've obviously got to be considerate to.

Tomorrow is the wife's first day on the job.

I have no idea what I'm going to do with myself (or with the dog) while she's gone. She's taking the only car to work...and there really isn't much around here for me to do.

I'm thinking of walking to starbucks to day trade there.

At least I can get away from this hotel for a bit. And get out and walk around.

The whole free breakfast/dinner/beer thing I think is starting to show up on my gut. It's been more than 2 weeks now since I've broken a sweat from exercising for more than 30 minutes.

I mean, what is the first thing you do when you get in to a hotel room for the first time? After unpacking and unloading? For me, it's turning on the TV to see what channels they have in the area. Fox on channel 10! TNT on channel 28! Crazy! Heh.

And of course, you get all the premium channels you always want for yourself at home but never will splurge the extra $8 a month for.

I can't imagine how people who travel on a normal basis do it. I wonder at which point they get used to seeing different cities and experiencing different hotels.

I know for sure that I haven't reached it yet.