Hair
About once every month I get my hair cut.
The wife does the hair cutting. I haven't paid for a haircut since high school. So almost 10 years now.
I just decided that I was only going in for a buzz anyway and so my sister took over. And from there, it was over. No more paying $15 a haircut, or $20 including tip. I used to hate the drive home from wherever I had had my hair cut. Somehow a few little hairs had gone down my shirt and itched like hell. Why was I tipping for this again?
So that's why I finally decided to get my own clippers. Sure it took some getting used to for those that cut my hair, but after a few goes at it they had perfected the science. Yes, every now and then my hair would be lopsided, but then again so was my head. I could always fix anything with my electric shaver.
Almost every time I get my hair cut I feel like I've shed a layer off of myself. I mean I have cut dead cells off of me, removed some weight - easier access to my scalp. One of the best feelings is drying off my freshly shaved head with a towel. And then slipping on that t-shirt and having the shirt rub against my head - almost like some ridiculous sandpaper.
Unfortunately when I shave my head I look terrible. I love to have my hair super short, but I need something to cover this ridiculous noggin - or as people have put in the past, watermelon on a toothpick. There's something about having my head shaved that makes me feel almost like a superhero.
Streaks
Over the past couple of weeks I've been on a pretty ridiculous streak. In sports betting I turned $35 in to $150 (only on multiple $5 bets). I hit a couple parlays - would've won a lot more money if it hadn't been for the freaking Steelers. Also, I was down to about $39 on my online poker account. This obviously doesn't seem like much (it isn't) but when I think about how I've been playing on $100 that I deposited last May it's provided me days worth of entertainment only for roughly $60. Over the past 2 weeks I have been unstoppable online playing poker also. I play in $2 tournaments so just like the sports betting it's a pretty amazing feat to really make any money on small bets. At the time that I write this my poker account balance has grown to almost even: $91.
I deposited money back in to my market trading account on January 3rd. Since then the market had the worst January it has ever had. And yet, since depositing the money I've made over $2,000 which equates to over 5% return. Now in comparison to the money that I've been gambling with that is some serious money.
I've been thinking a lot for the past couple of days about how I've been on this streak of winning financially. Every time I thought of it I didn't want to admit to myself that I was going through it - reason being the fear of it turning on a dime. Because this is how my life is. I streak to the winning side, and just the same streak to the losing side.
Right now, things are going very well. I want to stop it all just to insure that it doesn't turn on me. But who am I kidding? I am an action junkie.
Realistic Ideal Sunday
About halfway through the day today I thought about how this was a pretty awesome Sunday. I was sitting here on the laptop, dog sleeping soundly next to me. I was checking out lines and setting my parlay bets for the mornings NBA games. I had 2 poker tournaments lined up and felt confident.
Back to back games - San Antonio Spurs at the Boston Celtics and then the LA Lakers at the Cleveland Cavaliers. Flipping back and forth between those games and the college games that were going on. Notre Dame and UCLA. Purdue and Illinois. And the afternoon game of UW at Stanford.
Sports in HD, plus a comfy couch, a warm sleeping dog. Sportsbetting, poker. No rain outside. Warm enough that I didn't freeze when I took the dog on her daily stroll. Plenty of leftovers in the fridge for lunch.
We went to costco to pick up some things - groceries for the weekend, cleaning supplies. Then had dinner with the family to celebrate the sister's birthday. I think it's always best to end the weekend with laughs.
The only thing that could've made the day better was a little bit of physical activity. I wanted to play basketball but it wasn't available today.
So when I think about my day it may seem a bit lazy to everyone else, but for me it was perfect.
Sunday, February 08, 2009
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
Somewhere Out There
I never write a post like this.
So I figure I should.
As I was sitting there at McMenamins this evening I was thinking about the time I was in McMenamins in Portland, staring across the restaurant at 4 guys that looked like they were in their late 50s/early 60s and having the time of their lives.
Laughing and reminiscing about times long gone. Smiles on their faces as the pitchers were being passed around.
And I couldn't help but think...
Somewhere out there there is someone:
-Who is secretly (or openly) depressed about the NFL season coming to an end. The only thing he has to look forward to in fall of this year when the sport he cares about most starts up again.
-That's thinking about you. Or praying for you.
-Who will go to sleep content after having a pretty solid birthday dinner.
-Who won't be able to sleep because they're worried about what tomorrow holds.
-Who will receive a call in the middle of the night to receive terrible, life changing news.
-Who is worried about their job and being employed.
-Who is tucking in their child who means the world to them. Grabbing their teddy bear and placing them next to their child and pushing the covers under their feet and torso to wrap them up like a nice burrito. Protected and warm.
-Who is starving. Trying their hardest not to eat anything else while they struggle with their diet.
-Who is having a hard time telling the truth to someone. Who is having a hard time facing the truth themselves.
-Who's writing a blog post as the same time as me.
-Who thinks that it's going to be another ridiculous night filled with paid programming.
-Who can't put the book down. Or who skips ahead to see how many pages they have left until they finish this chapter.
-That's wishing that tomorrow was Friday, or even the weekend instead of just Wednesday.
-Still regretting what they did this weekend.
-Who saw fireworks during their first kiss with the person they've had a crush on for months.
-Who can't decide whether or not they should take a shower tonight.
-That's grateful for surviving.
-That is sighing; wondering if their shift will ever end.
-That is wondering how they ever got themselves in this position.
-Who starts their vacation in the Bahamas tomorrow.
-Who should not have gone for dessert with dinner tonight.
-Who is missing somebody right now.
-Who is using existential questions to make themselves feel small.
-Who is over thinking things.
-Who is wondering if a chair will be sturdy enough to stand on to change a light bulb. Or if they should get a ladder just to be safe.
-Who can't find something and is searching frantically for it.
-Who has been looking forward to this night for months. And what ended up happening exceeded all expectations.
-Who was completely surprised by a proposal.
-Who wishes they weren't so cheap and would pay the money to keep the heat on.
-Who is checking their phone, waiting for an important phone call.
-That will spend the night under the bridge again.
-That is getting ready for another day on the job.
-Who is wondering how they're going to deal with this diagnosis.
-That laughed so hard that they lost their breath and actually had tears streaming out of their eyes.
-Who hopes they made the right decision.
So there's billions of us out there. And I'm sure I only touched on a minuscule amount of what people were dealing with today. Sometimes it's just crazy to me to think about all the lives out there that don't stop because I am not a part of them (or ever were or ever will be). But we all continue to live our lives because we don't necessarily know any better.
Somewhere out there - like Fievel from An American Tail.
So I figure I should.
As I was sitting there at McMenamins this evening I was thinking about the time I was in McMenamins in Portland, staring across the restaurant at 4 guys that looked like they were in their late 50s/early 60s and having the time of their lives.
Laughing and reminiscing about times long gone. Smiles on their faces as the pitchers were being passed around.
And I couldn't help but think...
Somewhere out there there is someone:
-Who is secretly (or openly) depressed about the NFL season coming to an end. The only thing he has to look forward to in fall of this year when the sport he cares about most starts up again.
-That's thinking about you. Or praying for you.
-Who will go to sleep content after having a pretty solid birthday dinner.
-Who won't be able to sleep because they're worried about what tomorrow holds.
-Who will receive a call in the middle of the night to receive terrible, life changing news.
-Who is worried about their job and being employed.
-Who is tucking in their child who means the world to them. Grabbing their teddy bear and placing them next to their child and pushing the covers under their feet and torso to wrap them up like a nice burrito. Protected and warm.
-Who is starving. Trying their hardest not to eat anything else while they struggle with their diet.
-Who is having a hard time telling the truth to someone. Who is having a hard time facing the truth themselves.
-Who's writing a blog post as the same time as me.
-Who thinks that it's going to be another ridiculous night filled with paid programming.
-Who can't put the book down. Or who skips ahead to see how many pages they have left until they finish this chapter.
-That's wishing that tomorrow was Friday, or even the weekend instead of just Wednesday.
-Still regretting what they did this weekend.
-Who saw fireworks during their first kiss with the person they've had a crush on for months.
-Who can't decide whether or not they should take a shower tonight.
-That's grateful for surviving.
-That is sighing; wondering if their shift will ever end.
-That is wondering how they ever got themselves in this position.
-Who starts their vacation in the Bahamas tomorrow.
-Who should not have gone for dessert with dinner tonight.
-Who is missing somebody right now.
-Who is using existential questions to make themselves feel small.
-Who is over thinking things.
-Who is wondering if a chair will be sturdy enough to stand on to change a light bulb. Or if they should get a ladder just to be safe.
-Who can't find something and is searching frantically for it.
-Who has been looking forward to this night for months. And what ended up happening exceeded all expectations.
-Who was completely surprised by a proposal.
-Who wishes they weren't so cheap and would pay the money to keep the heat on.
-Who is checking their phone, waiting for an important phone call.
-That will spend the night under the bridge again.
-That is getting ready for another day on the job.
-Who is wondering how they're going to deal with this diagnosis.
-That laughed so hard that they lost their breath and actually had tears streaming out of their eyes.
-Who hopes they made the right decision.
So there's billions of us out there. And I'm sure I only touched on a minuscule amount of what people were dealing with today. Sometimes it's just crazy to me to think about all the lives out there that don't stop because I am not a part of them (or ever were or ever will be). But we all continue to live our lives because we don't necessarily know any better.
Somewhere out there - like Fievel from An American Tail.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Weekend Partially Ruined
I almost wrote, "Weekend Ruined".
And as I was about to write that I did a quick replay of the weekend and it was actually pretty good. I've had worse.
On Friday afternoon I thought I was cruising in to the weekend. A few hours left to go, the sun was shining, nothing planned and hours of free time ahead of me.
And as I was sitting there, my ear started to hurt. Ah darnit I thought to myself as I figured it was another one of my ear infections coming on. I tend to have ear infections about 2 or 3 times a year. They show up, they annoy me, they're gone in 3 days. During that time my ear is stuffed up, I don't hear very well out of it, and I feel a little bit imbalanced. I just shrugged my shoulders and figured I'd have to suck it up through another infection.
But this one was different. The pain kept getting worse. And worse. And bad enough to the point that I was cringing and suddenly my last hour of work was the most painful hour of work I have ever worked before. Why? Because I have never been in pain at work. If I'm in pain it's usually a dull pain or I've called in sick.
What the hell was happening to me? It felt like my ear just had to pop. I don't think many people go through what I do while flying, but the pressure change really does a number on my ears. During the descent the pressure begins to build in my ears. It gets so bad that the only way I can describe is this: Imagine first of all being under water. You can't hear very well under water. Everything is muted. Add on top of that having someone take a very long pin...or a needle and digging it down in to your ear. But not just pressing horizontally in to your ear. Going in to your ear, then making an upside down "L" shape and moving downwards to your throat. Spinning it around like they were trying to make you bleed faster than you already were.
That is why I hate to fly.
This is what was happening to me on Friday afternoon. And I figured - oh, this will go away. It's been almost 2 hours now. It should go away soon.
The wife came home and it wasn't gone yet. And the pain was getting worse. My ear was popping and clicking like crazy. And now after the pops it sounded like someone was pouring water out of my ear. Or maybe water in. Either way it sounded like someone had put a conch up to my left ear.
Finally work was over and I went to lay down in bed. Bad idea. The clicking and popping in my ear was non-stop. And it wasn't like there was any sort of rhythm to it. I screamed out because I was so angry at the pain which had gotten worse (even though I thought it wasn't possible) and the annoying sound in my head that I had no control over.
The wife suggested we go see someone. I agreed. She called around. Next opening for a general doctor was Saturday morning. My ear, nose and throat doctor's next opening was February 9th. Great.
At almost 5 pm the pain was now excruciating and we decided I had to see someone now. The wife drove me to the Urgent Care facility in Woodinville. You get seen about as quickly as you would in the ER (believe me I've been to both a few times - I guess not with serious enough problems) and I laid my head on the wife's shoulder for an hour and moaned. Along with the popping in my ears came a new annoyance. I could feel liquid seeping out of my ear. Awesome, a brand new experience for me.
I finally was seen by the one doctor working who gave me about as much help as WebMD did before I left for Urgent Care.
"Looks like you've got a ruptured eardrum." She prescribed amoxycillan to help avoid infection and recommended I take ibuprofen for the pain. We left the office at 6:30 annoyed, but luckily the pain had gone from about as high as an 8 on a 10 scale down to a manageable 5 then 4. Add in a couple advil with dinner and I was fine that night.
The rest of the weekend has just been a bit challenging. About every few minutes I have to dab at my ear because otherwise yellow liquid will drip down my cheek. I sleep on a t-shirt so I don't get discharge all over my pillow sheet. A few of the times I reached up with a kleenex I came down with what I would call "presents". That's about as much as I'll say about that.
My hearing on my left side has gone down to about 10%. Which has been interesting. You don't know what you've got till it's gone. I stare at the TV blankly and miss half of what's being said. I ask for clarification from the wife on what she says everytime when she talks to my "bad side". I freak myself out by covering my "good ear" and seeing how much I can hear. Almost nothing. Like the teacher calling on Charlie Brown...muted noise.
I can't let any water in without the tymphanic membrane to protect my middle and inner ear. So without ear plugs I shower to one side and try my best to get the other side of my body washed without getting my ear wet.
It still hurts a bit and the popping comes and goes. I've read that this can take a few days to a few months to fully heal. Great. I've also read that if it doesn't heal that I've got to go in for surgery to fix it and that I may never regain my hearing ability. Perfect.
Why do all the weird physical ailments have to happen to me? At the least I'll never be digging around in my ear with those Q-tips again.
And as I was about to write that I did a quick replay of the weekend and it was actually pretty good. I've had worse.
On Friday afternoon I thought I was cruising in to the weekend. A few hours left to go, the sun was shining, nothing planned and hours of free time ahead of me.
And as I was sitting there, my ear started to hurt. Ah darnit I thought to myself as I figured it was another one of my ear infections coming on. I tend to have ear infections about 2 or 3 times a year. They show up, they annoy me, they're gone in 3 days. During that time my ear is stuffed up, I don't hear very well out of it, and I feel a little bit imbalanced. I just shrugged my shoulders and figured I'd have to suck it up through another infection.
But this one was different. The pain kept getting worse. And worse. And bad enough to the point that I was cringing and suddenly my last hour of work was the most painful hour of work I have ever worked before. Why? Because I have never been in pain at work. If I'm in pain it's usually a dull pain or I've called in sick.
What the hell was happening to me? It felt like my ear just had to pop. I don't think many people go through what I do while flying, but the pressure change really does a number on my ears. During the descent the pressure begins to build in my ears. It gets so bad that the only way I can describe is this: Imagine first of all being under water. You can't hear very well under water. Everything is muted. Add on top of that having someone take a very long pin...or a needle and digging it down in to your ear. But not just pressing horizontally in to your ear. Going in to your ear, then making an upside down "L" shape and moving downwards to your throat. Spinning it around like they were trying to make you bleed faster than you already were.
That is why I hate to fly.
This is what was happening to me on Friday afternoon. And I figured - oh, this will go away. It's been almost 2 hours now. It should go away soon.
The wife came home and it wasn't gone yet. And the pain was getting worse. My ear was popping and clicking like crazy. And now after the pops it sounded like someone was pouring water out of my ear. Or maybe water in. Either way it sounded like someone had put a conch up to my left ear.
Finally work was over and I went to lay down in bed. Bad idea. The clicking and popping in my ear was non-stop. And it wasn't like there was any sort of rhythm to it. I screamed out because I was so angry at the pain which had gotten worse (even though I thought it wasn't possible) and the annoying sound in my head that I had no control over.
The wife suggested we go see someone. I agreed. She called around. Next opening for a general doctor was Saturday morning. My ear, nose and throat doctor's next opening was February 9th. Great.
At almost 5 pm the pain was now excruciating and we decided I had to see someone now. The wife drove me to the Urgent Care facility in Woodinville. You get seen about as quickly as you would in the ER (believe me I've been to both a few times - I guess not with serious enough problems) and I laid my head on the wife's shoulder for an hour and moaned. Along with the popping in my ears came a new annoyance. I could feel liquid seeping out of my ear. Awesome, a brand new experience for me.
I finally was seen by the one doctor working who gave me about as much help as WebMD did before I left for Urgent Care.
"Looks like you've got a ruptured eardrum." She prescribed amoxycillan to help avoid infection and recommended I take ibuprofen for the pain. We left the office at 6:30 annoyed, but luckily the pain had gone from about as high as an 8 on a 10 scale down to a manageable 5 then 4. Add in a couple advil with dinner and I was fine that night.
The rest of the weekend has just been a bit challenging. About every few minutes I have to dab at my ear because otherwise yellow liquid will drip down my cheek. I sleep on a t-shirt so I don't get discharge all over my pillow sheet. A few of the times I reached up with a kleenex I came down with what I would call "presents". That's about as much as I'll say about that.
My hearing on my left side has gone down to about 10%. Which has been interesting. You don't know what you've got till it's gone. I stare at the TV blankly and miss half of what's being said. I ask for clarification from the wife on what she says everytime when she talks to my "bad side". I freak myself out by covering my "good ear" and seeing how much I can hear. Almost nothing. Like the teacher calling on Charlie Brown...muted noise.
I can't let any water in without the tymphanic membrane to protect my middle and inner ear. So without ear plugs I shower to one side and try my best to get the other side of my body washed without getting my ear wet.
It still hurts a bit and the popping comes and goes. I've read that this can take a few days to a few months to fully heal. Great. I've also read that if it doesn't heal that I've got to go in for surgery to fix it and that I may never regain my hearing ability. Perfect.
Why do all the weird physical ailments have to happen to me? At the least I'll never be digging around in my ear with those Q-tips again.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
First Rando Post 2009
It's been awhile since I've done one of these.
And I actually just turned off the TV so I could concentrate.
Weird.
I usually can have the TV on in the background while I write these. Because I just leave the TV on for the background noise, and am not a huge fan of just listening to myself type.
It's almost as if I'm going to have a hard time writing a rando notes post because all of my recent posts have had a subject, theme or some sort of point. And I don't know if I'm random enough (right now) to make this worth my time. Ah well, I'm not that great of a writer anyway, and even the best had their terrible moments.
-I'll denote my change of thinking pattern/subject by the "-".
-I was at the gym today lifting and I'm not a huge fan of the gym layout. This is because of their lack of space and also because of their inexpensive monthly fee. The wife and I are now part of a gym membership where we pay $21 a month for both of us. And last month we were paying a whopping $37. So given how cheap the memberships are and throwing in the current economic climate along with soon-to-fail new year's resolutions, you have a bit of crowding in a gym that's already too small. So when you're on the machines you have someone that is about 4 feet in front of you, facing you, sweating, breathing hard and trying not to look at you too. I am constantly trying my best not to look at anybody. For about 30 minutes to an hour at least twice a week since I've been home I go to a place where I try to keep fit but stare at the floor. The more I write about this the more terrible going to the gym sounds. I better stop.
-Since I was a kid I was always embarrassed by how big my feet were. Everyone in my family (and friends) would make fun of my feet. Until the age of 14 my feet grew with my age (we started recognizing this when I was about 9 years old). To this day people still think I have big feet (I'm really not sure why, I'm kind of tall) but maybe it's easier to point out someones big feet than the big mole they have on their nose. Or the rolls in their neck. Who knows. So, since I was younger anytime I'd have my feet out I'd curl my toes in to basically what would make fists of my feet. At first it hurt to curl all of my toes under. But after doing it for so many years I just automatically do it now when I'm sitting down and my feet are exposed. It's comfortable for me. I also (somehow) think it keeps my toes warm too. I've never noticed anyone else curling their toes under when they sit down.
-For some reason I want a pair of light brown corduroys. And anytime I find a pair that I wear, it's not what I'm looking for. Is this what it's like to be a woman in regards to clothes? You can never find exactly what you want so you just end up settling for stuff that your return a month and a half later but end up fighting over the price of the return because suddenly the item you bought is now going for 30% less than it was when you bought it and instead of giving you the full refund the only way you could get the full refund is if you were given store credit but *ack* you don't even want to spend the time in the store now to go and find something to use your store credit with and struggle with whether or not it's worth it just to take the discounted price and have it credited to your card. Can't someone just think of what a guy who wants to wear a pair of corduroys wants to wear? No, I don't want tapered bottoms. No, I don't want FREAKING PLEATS. Omg I can't believe someone would wear corduroys with pleats on them. Not that I'm a fashion king or anything but if you ever caught me in corduroys in pleats please consider it a joke and not something I'm wearing seriously. And I want small cords. Not the big ones. Thanks.
-Losing weight is about math. I don't know if I posted this before or not. But it would seem to me that losing weight is easy enough if you stick to your math. Eat less calories, burn more calories = losing weight. That is what I am doing right now over the past few weeks. I am enjoying the working out as my last basketball game I had I was able to run full speed the entire game and at the end of it I was ready for another one. The eating part is tough though, going to sleep hungry is challenging for me. Hearing my stomach whine throughout the day is annoying. I want to punch it. So far, so good though. No noticeable change in body definition though (or so I think).
-Somewhere along the line over the past few years I learned how to tilt my head from side to side and crack my neck. And somehow, this feels good. Like cracking anything else, joints, knuckles, my back, all feels like some sort of tension has been released. But then I've read/heard about the guys who have tried really hard to crack their neck that one fateful time and have ended up killing themselves. Last night my neck would not crack at all. And I was laying there in bed thinking, if I could just twist my head a little bit harder and how freaky it would be to die right now, right before going to bed just because I was trying to crack my neck. It would be like my death would have been so pointless. If I'm going to die this early I at least want there to be some point to it.
-Teaching my dad to text has been one of the best things ever. I don't keep in contact with the parents as well as other people keep in contact with theirs. But that's just because we live near each other and try to see each other at least once a week. That is more than other people out there. But now I can text my dad random things instead of having to get a call from my parents once a week asking how things are and basically checking in on me. I just find it so odd that now I would rather text someone than hear their voice. Maybe it's the "hello" and "goodbye" that I like not having to use? Or maybe the listening? With a text I can just tell someone something and be done with it. I definitely will still call in a situation that's more emergent though. Wow, I'm impressed that "emergent" is a word.
-Two quotes I wanted to include on here: "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it." And, "Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you've got." I just wanted to include those in here because they ring very true right now. If I can look at things in a different perspective maybe things are actually great. Perception is reality.
-When I was 13 I thought 18 was old. When I was 17 I thought 22 was geriatric. When I was 23 I thought that 28 was ancient. I am at a point now where I am realizing that people who are younger than me are thinking the same of me. Soon I'll be to a point where people look at me and say, "He is old". I honestly don't know how old people do it. I look at people that are just bags of bodies now, hairstyles from decades past or those with health issues walking around with their oxygen tanks. It scares the crap out of me knowing that might be me some day. If there's one thing I don't ever want to be it is old. But I know I'm old to some people. Over the past couple of weekends I've been breaking in to the Alma Mater to play basketball with "kids" that would consider me "ancient". 18 through 22 year old college kids who think they're hot shit and who may possibly know that they're bodies are at or near their prime. And I am keeping up if not doing well. I didn't recognize it until tonight but for me to be able to run with someone that is almost 10 years younger than me (sad to admit) is pretty amazing. They should be outrunning, outworking, outhustling me at every bounce of the ball. But they're not. So maybe I'm not as old as I actually thought I was as my younger self. Maybe when I start to slow down and admit to myself I can't keep up is when I'll hit that age wall. Not any time soon though hopefully.
-Obama is like Steve Sarkisian, the new coach of the UW football team. UW football as previously mentioned had the worst record ever in Pac-10 history last season. Therefore if "The Sark" even gets 2 wins this season (I'm guessing 4 myself) he'll be seen as a savior. Dear BO - you couldn't have had an easier act to follow. You probably won't live up to all the hype you came in with, but returning the country to a bit of normalcy (barf, hate that word) will be credited to you over the next 4 years.
Holler.
And I actually just turned off the TV so I could concentrate.
Weird.
I usually can have the TV on in the background while I write these. Because I just leave the TV on for the background noise, and am not a huge fan of just listening to myself type.
It's almost as if I'm going to have a hard time writing a rando notes post because all of my recent posts have had a subject, theme or some sort of point. And I don't know if I'm random enough (right now) to make this worth my time. Ah well, I'm not that great of a writer anyway, and even the best had their terrible moments.
-I'll denote my change of thinking pattern/subject by the "-".
-I was at the gym today lifting and I'm not a huge fan of the gym layout. This is because of their lack of space and also because of their inexpensive monthly fee. The wife and I are now part of a gym membership where we pay $21 a month for both of us. And last month we were paying a whopping $37. So given how cheap the memberships are and throwing in the current economic climate along with soon-to-fail new year's resolutions, you have a bit of crowding in a gym that's already too small. So when you're on the machines you have someone that is about 4 feet in front of you, facing you, sweating, breathing hard and trying not to look at you too. I am constantly trying my best not to look at anybody. For about 30 minutes to an hour at least twice a week since I've been home I go to a place where I try to keep fit but stare at the floor. The more I write about this the more terrible going to the gym sounds. I better stop.
-Since I was a kid I was always embarrassed by how big my feet were. Everyone in my family (and friends) would make fun of my feet. Until the age of 14 my feet grew with my age (we started recognizing this when I was about 9 years old). To this day people still think I have big feet (I'm really not sure why, I'm kind of tall) but maybe it's easier to point out someones big feet than the big mole they have on their nose. Or the rolls in their neck. Who knows. So, since I was younger anytime I'd have my feet out I'd curl my toes in to basically what would make fists of my feet. At first it hurt to curl all of my toes under. But after doing it for so many years I just automatically do it now when I'm sitting down and my feet are exposed. It's comfortable for me. I also (somehow) think it keeps my toes warm too. I've never noticed anyone else curling their toes under when they sit down.
-For some reason I want a pair of light brown corduroys. And anytime I find a pair that I wear, it's not what I'm looking for. Is this what it's like to be a woman in regards to clothes? You can never find exactly what you want so you just end up settling for stuff that your return a month and a half later but end up fighting over the price of the return because suddenly the item you bought is now going for 30% less than it was when you bought it and instead of giving you the full refund the only way you could get the full refund is if you were given store credit but *ack* you don't even want to spend the time in the store now to go and find something to use your store credit with and struggle with whether or not it's worth it just to take the discounted price and have it credited to your card. Can't someone just think of what a guy who wants to wear a pair of corduroys wants to wear? No, I don't want tapered bottoms. No, I don't want FREAKING PLEATS. Omg I can't believe someone would wear corduroys with pleats on them. Not that I'm a fashion king or anything but if you ever caught me in corduroys in pleats please consider it a joke and not something I'm wearing seriously. And I want small cords. Not the big ones. Thanks.
-Losing weight is about math. I don't know if I posted this before or not. But it would seem to me that losing weight is easy enough if you stick to your math. Eat less calories, burn more calories = losing weight. That is what I am doing right now over the past few weeks. I am enjoying the working out as my last basketball game I had I was able to run full speed the entire game and at the end of it I was ready for another one. The eating part is tough though, going to sleep hungry is challenging for me. Hearing my stomach whine throughout the day is annoying. I want to punch it. So far, so good though. No noticeable change in body definition though (or so I think).
-Somewhere along the line over the past few years I learned how to tilt my head from side to side and crack my neck. And somehow, this feels good. Like cracking anything else, joints, knuckles, my back, all feels like some sort of tension has been released. But then I've read/heard about the guys who have tried really hard to crack their neck that one fateful time and have ended up killing themselves. Last night my neck would not crack at all. And I was laying there in bed thinking, if I could just twist my head a little bit harder and how freaky it would be to die right now, right before going to bed just because I was trying to crack my neck. It would be like my death would have been so pointless. If I'm going to die this early I at least want there to be some point to it.
-Teaching my dad to text has been one of the best things ever. I don't keep in contact with the parents as well as other people keep in contact with theirs. But that's just because we live near each other and try to see each other at least once a week. That is more than other people out there. But now I can text my dad random things instead of having to get a call from my parents once a week asking how things are and basically checking in on me. I just find it so odd that now I would rather text someone than hear their voice. Maybe it's the "hello" and "goodbye" that I like not having to use? Or maybe the listening? With a text I can just tell someone something and be done with it. I definitely will still call in a situation that's more emergent though. Wow, I'm impressed that "emergent" is a word.
-Two quotes I wanted to include on here: "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it." And, "Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you've got." I just wanted to include those in here because they ring very true right now. If I can look at things in a different perspective maybe things are actually great. Perception is reality.
-When I was 13 I thought 18 was old. When I was 17 I thought 22 was geriatric. When I was 23 I thought that 28 was ancient. I am at a point now where I am realizing that people who are younger than me are thinking the same of me. Soon I'll be to a point where people look at me and say, "He is old". I honestly don't know how old people do it. I look at people that are just bags of bodies now, hairstyles from decades past or those with health issues walking around with their oxygen tanks. It scares the crap out of me knowing that might be me some day. If there's one thing I don't ever want to be it is old. But I know I'm old to some people. Over the past couple of weekends I've been breaking in to the Alma Mater to play basketball with "kids" that would consider me "ancient". 18 through 22 year old college kids who think they're hot shit and who may possibly know that they're bodies are at or near their prime. And I am keeping up if not doing well. I didn't recognize it until tonight but for me to be able to run with someone that is almost 10 years younger than me (sad to admit) is pretty amazing. They should be outrunning, outworking, outhustling me at every bounce of the ball. But they're not. So maybe I'm not as old as I actually thought I was as my younger self. Maybe when I start to slow down and admit to myself I can't keep up is when I'll hit that age wall. Not any time soon though hopefully.
-Obama is like Steve Sarkisian, the new coach of the UW football team. UW football as previously mentioned had the worst record ever in Pac-10 history last season. Therefore if "The Sark" even gets 2 wins this season (I'm guessing 4 myself) he'll be seen as a savior. Dear BO - you couldn't have had an easier act to follow. You probably won't live up to all the hype you came in with, but returning the country to a bit of normalcy (barf, hate that word) will be credited to you over the next 4 years.
Holler.
Monday, January 12, 2009
The LM Buyout
I was worried.
But things have turned out almost better than planned.
I thought - Oh no, here comes the big company that's going to come in slash and burn and work us to the bone. Am I going to lose my job? Are we all going to?
But here I sit, almost 15 days in to the buyout and I feel like I've got job security. And on top of that, it seems like things are better under Liberty Mutual than they were previously.
The sad thing was, literally a week before the buyout I was looking at our stock and saying, "You know, it's getting awfully cheap - like down to levels it hadn't seen for years". I almost pulled the trigger on picking up just 100 shares...and come to find out by the end of the week the announcement had been made. So here I sit, working for a company that is now a division of another company.
Pros
-I switch from a vacation system where I had basically 4 weeks of vacation and 2 weeks of sick time to one with "Flexible Time Off". This means that instead of distinguishing between "sick" and "vacation" I pull it from all one bank. Under the Safeco plan I got up to 19 days of vacation and 10 days of sick time. Under LM I've got 29 days of whenever time. Remind me to check how many days I can roll over to next year because I think I'm going to only need at most 19 of those...
-Tuition reimbursement has more than doubled. I believe the Safeco rate was at $2500 - which definitely would've been alright...if I was planning on going to undergrad for a quarter. LM's upped the ante to $6000. Still not full tuition reimbursement but I'll take whatever I can get.
-Merit based pay structure. My manager just informed me last week that LM is built more on a structure of pay for performance. This is different because although no one would ever admit it, Safeco was a good old company which paid for years of service and seniority, although those that may have been with the company for 10, 15 or even 25 years longer than I have might have been just an unproductive dinosaur waiting for that golden handshake. I'm interested to see my next few yearly reviews to say the least.
-Investments! Yes. Insurance and investments. I feel like this is my calling. I want to handle OPM (Other People's Money). I want to be responsible for making them (and in turn myself) money. Safeco had a Life Insurance and Investment side which it sold years ago to a company called Symmetra. Now I'm back in a company that has those opportunities, albeit in Boston. Regardless I went from a company without a visible ladder for me to climb to one where I could possibly enjoy the ascent.
-Private company. This means we don't answer to the street. We make our own decisions and don't base them off of what our shareholders and board wants of us. Being now in the top 5 insurance companies basically puts us in a position where it would be hard to even buy us out.
Cons
-I can't really think of any. The only one I could possibly complain about is that with my FTO we move to a system where we accrue the time. So by the end of the year I'll have my 29 days off. They gave us 5 to start and I've already accrued another day at this point so I've got enough time just in case I come down with some nasty virus.
-They aren't headquartered locally. This means if I were to become anything starting with a "C"...CEO, CFO, COO, CIO I'd probably have to become a Red Sox fan. Ugh.
-We're still in the very early stages of the "transition". Ask me my opinion next year and I'll let you know if anything's changed.
Summary
Things are looking up. While everyone else is cutting back I seem to be fine company wise. Here's hoping it stays that way.
But things have turned out almost better than planned.
I thought - Oh no, here comes the big company that's going to come in slash and burn and work us to the bone. Am I going to lose my job? Are we all going to?
But here I sit, almost 15 days in to the buyout and I feel like I've got job security. And on top of that, it seems like things are better under Liberty Mutual than they were previously.
The sad thing was, literally a week before the buyout I was looking at our stock and saying, "You know, it's getting awfully cheap - like down to levels it hadn't seen for years". I almost pulled the trigger on picking up just 100 shares...and come to find out by the end of the week the announcement had been made. So here I sit, working for a company that is now a division of another company.
Pros
-I switch from a vacation system where I had basically 4 weeks of vacation and 2 weeks of sick time to one with "Flexible Time Off". This means that instead of distinguishing between "sick" and "vacation" I pull it from all one bank. Under the Safeco plan I got up to 19 days of vacation and 10 days of sick time. Under LM I've got 29 days of whenever time. Remind me to check how many days I can roll over to next year because I think I'm going to only need at most 19 of those...
-Tuition reimbursement has more than doubled. I believe the Safeco rate was at $2500 - which definitely would've been alright...if I was planning on going to undergrad for a quarter. LM's upped the ante to $6000. Still not full tuition reimbursement but I'll take whatever I can get.
-Merit based pay structure. My manager just informed me last week that LM is built more on a structure of pay for performance. This is different because although no one would ever admit it, Safeco was a good old company which paid for years of service and seniority, although those that may have been with the company for 10, 15 or even 25 years longer than I have might have been just an unproductive dinosaur waiting for that golden handshake. I'm interested to see my next few yearly reviews to say the least.
-Investments! Yes. Insurance and investments. I feel like this is my calling. I want to handle OPM (Other People's Money). I want to be responsible for making them (and in turn myself) money. Safeco had a Life Insurance and Investment side which it sold years ago to a company called Symmetra. Now I'm back in a company that has those opportunities, albeit in Boston. Regardless I went from a company without a visible ladder for me to climb to one where I could possibly enjoy the ascent.
-Private company. This means we don't answer to the street. We make our own decisions and don't base them off of what our shareholders and board wants of us. Being now in the top 5 insurance companies basically puts us in a position where it would be hard to even buy us out.
Cons
-I can't really think of any. The only one I could possibly complain about is that with my FTO we move to a system where we accrue the time. So by the end of the year I'll have my 29 days off. They gave us 5 to start and I've already accrued another day at this point so I've got enough time just in case I come down with some nasty virus.
-They aren't headquartered locally. This means if I were to become anything starting with a "C"...CEO, CFO, COO, CIO I'd probably have to become a Red Sox fan. Ugh.
-We're still in the very early stages of the "transition". Ask me my opinion next year and I'll let you know if anything's changed.
Summary
Things are looking up. While everyone else is cutting back I seem to be fine company wise. Here's hoping it stays that way.
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Sooner Or Later
It all comes crashing down...
Comes crashing down...
I think it's finally got to me. Somewhere along the way the negative self-body image crept in and I don't think it's leaving the train station any time soon.
I remember at one point during college that I just wanted to let go, to see what would happen.
I had lost a bet to a friend and had to grow my hair out the entire summer. Longer than it has ever been and probably will ever be. I felt so gross that I wanted to just spiral out of control. I didn't shower for more than a week. I ate as terribly as I could, drinking beer with meals and enough food for 2 meals in 1 consisting of grease infested fried cheese. Not really, but I think I get the point across.
All throughout college I was a pretty steady 190 to 200 lbs. Everyone pretty much has their routine down, so most of us fluctuate in a given range. My body felt comfortable at that weight (and continues to). I don't have to work to stay at that weight, and it actually takes work to put on more or lose any.
I believe the highest I ever got during my "give up" phase was around 220. I had packed them on, but the only place I had noticed was in the "definition" (if I could call it that) I had lost.
It took 3 months of getting back to an active lifestyle and eating normally to get rid of it all. I did it living my normal life though, doing the things I wanted to and eating what I wanted to.
Which, to this day is still the case.
So what happened? This is the question I sit here asking myself while eating a 90 calorie Choclately Drizzle Special K bar and washing it down with tap water. I don't know what happened. I've watched all the celeb shows, heard everyone complain about weight gain, read along with the articles in the wife's Shape magazines - all over the past few years. It never affected me in the slightest. And all of a sudden now I start to feel bad about how my body looks? Out of nowhere?
What the eff is wrong with me? This is the reason why I wanted to write this post. To question my feeling sorry for myself. To question the negativity. Never before in my life have I said *seriously* "I'm so effing fat", "I feel like a fatass", "I'm out of shape", "I need to work out", "I need to lose 15 pounds". Never. Except for this past holiday season.
I have been in good shape all of my life, and my mentality on my body image was something I prided myself on. While others hated on themselves (while they looked good, if not great) I sat there and laughed as they failed at diets, failed at workout routines, and overall just felt bad about themselves for no reason whatsoever. And I've always thought it was because of their own negative self-images.
Well, I've now for some reason joined the ranks. Sooner or later that wall I had put up around my body image was going to come crashing down.
I weighed myself tonight. A whopping 203 pounds. I would normally be fine with this. "Seth, you just had a little too much this holiday season. No biggie." But not this year. I never had to fight this feeling before - this feeling of wanting to cut calories. The feeling of wanting to work out an hour or more a day. The craving of soreness in my body after running lines all night at the gym.
You know why? Because I always plateued. As much as I was driven to be the sleek muscular guy, I always got to a point where without really putting in some serious effort - and adding in the proper diet - it never would've really made any difference.
So that is my answer for myself right there. Unfortunately it doesn't change my current view of what I see in the mirror today.
So, I'm going to give in to the anger and sadness that follows when it comes to things like these - for now. It might do me some good to shed some Christmas and New Years weight. I always dread going to the gym in January because of all the people that'll drop off their new year's resolution by Valentine's day.
But there I'll be, with the rest of the suckers, fooled by some version of themselves that just isn't reality. Maybe I'll see you there?
Comes crashing down...
I think it's finally got to me. Somewhere along the way the negative self-body image crept in and I don't think it's leaving the train station any time soon.
I remember at one point during college that I just wanted to let go, to see what would happen.
I had lost a bet to a friend and had to grow my hair out the entire summer. Longer than it has ever been and probably will ever be. I felt so gross that I wanted to just spiral out of control. I didn't shower for more than a week. I ate as terribly as I could, drinking beer with meals and enough food for 2 meals in 1 consisting of grease infested fried cheese. Not really, but I think I get the point across.
All throughout college I was a pretty steady 190 to 200 lbs. Everyone pretty much has their routine down, so most of us fluctuate in a given range. My body felt comfortable at that weight (and continues to). I don't have to work to stay at that weight, and it actually takes work to put on more or lose any.
I believe the highest I ever got during my "give up" phase was around 220. I had packed them on, but the only place I had noticed was in the "definition" (if I could call it that) I had lost.
It took 3 months of getting back to an active lifestyle and eating normally to get rid of it all. I did it living my normal life though, doing the things I wanted to and eating what I wanted to.
Which, to this day is still the case.
So what happened? This is the question I sit here asking myself while eating a 90 calorie Choclately Drizzle Special K bar and washing it down with tap water. I don't know what happened. I've watched all the celeb shows, heard everyone complain about weight gain, read along with the articles in the wife's Shape magazines - all over the past few years. It never affected me in the slightest. And all of a sudden now I start to feel bad about how my body looks? Out of nowhere?
What the eff is wrong with me? This is the reason why I wanted to write this post. To question my feeling sorry for myself. To question the negativity. Never before in my life have I said *seriously* "I'm so effing fat", "I feel like a fatass", "I'm out of shape", "I need to work out", "I need to lose 15 pounds". Never. Except for this past holiday season.
I have been in good shape all of my life, and my mentality on my body image was something I prided myself on. While others hated on themselves (while they looked good, if not great) I sat there and laughed as they failed at diets, failed at workout routines, and overall just felt bad about themselves for no reason whatsoever. And I've always thought it was because of their own negative self-images.
Well, I've now for some reason joined the ranks. Sooner or later that wall I had put up around my body image was going to come crashing down.
I weighed myself tonight. A whopping 203 pounds. I would normally be fine with this. "Seth, you just had a little too much this holiday season. No biggie." But not this year. I never had to fight this feeling before - this feeling of wanting to cut calories. The feeling of wanting to work out an hour or more a day. The craving of soreness in my body after running lines all night at the gym.
You know why? Because I always plateued. As much as I was driven to be the sleek muscular guy, I always got to a point where without really putting in some serious effort - and adding in the proper diet - it never would've really made any difference.
So that is my answer for myself right there. Unfortunately it doesn't change my current view of what I see in the mirror today.
So, I'm going to give in to the anger and sadness that follows when it comes to things like these - for now. It might do me some good to shed some Christmas and New Years weight. I always dread going to the gym in January because of all the people that'll drop off their new year's resolution by Valentine's day.
But there I'll be, with the rest of the suckers, fooled by some version of themselves that just isn't reality. Maybe I'll see you there?
Monday, December 22, 2008
Bah Humbug
That's it.
It's gone.
What little ounce left of holiday cheer and Christmas spirit is gone.
And I knew it was gone when we watched, "Mickey's Christmas Carol" tonight and at the end everyone had that happy smile on their face when Tiny Tim gets picked up by Scrooge and then I turned to the people there and said, "Just your standard liberal propaganda." It got a couple laughs, but I was serious about it. I followed up with, "You know, this kind of stuff is meant for kids. You gotta get 'em started early."
And with that, I heard Santa sigh a little bit. Baby Jesus' cry was muffled and the Star of David turned slightly dull.
Another adult lost to the mentality of "Just another day on the calendar".
How did I get here? I used to be so excited about Christmas. And ever since that one special Christmas eve night (almost 10 years ago now), it's just become cheapened for me.
How I got here:
A) Commercialization of Christmas. Constantly trying to find the perfect gift for everyone. And knowing it'll never happen. And not getting gifts for people I know are going to get me gifts. And looking at a lot of my gifts and saying, "This is going to be a re-gift". As a kid I was definitely excited to get toys and money. But now? There is nothing I want that I don't already have. There is nothing that could really be bought for me (that someone could realistically afford) that would have actual meaning to me (other than an inside joke or something of that sort). I suppose it doesn't help that the "recession" word has been on everyone's lips for the past month.
B) Lack of spirituality. When I was younger I'd go to every single advent candle lighting. We'd have an advent calendar. I'd go down to Saint Marks because they had special Christmas season programs for the monks. I loved caroling, and even to this day I still enjoy Christmas music. On that last special Christmas, there was a hokey retelling of the birth of Jesus in our standing room only sanctuary. Where the light from an angel was a youngster willing to climb a ladder and shine a flash light down on a baby. On that Christmas the bell that rang at midnight to mark the change from Christmas eve to Christmas I felt to my core. It's an odd thing to say, but that night I felt like God was there, hugging us all. But no more. After almost 10 years of going to the midnight service, which I have continued to see dwindle every year in attendance since then (or maybe because the sanctuary is just too big and cold now) I am actually debating on going. If someone had asked me 5 years ago, there was no question I was going to be there. "This is a holiday tradition!" I would've scoffed. I have talked about living a balanced life a lot on this blog. I feel that this is one of the main things I am missing.
C) A combination of the holidays sneaking up on me and the routine just being that - routine. Being in Charleston until Halloween did not help my holiday attitude. I feel as if someone picked me up out of September and dumped me off in to the middle of December. There has been so much that has happened the past 2 months that I don't feel like I've had the chance to really settle in. And because of that, spending time with old friends and family just doesn't seem as interesting as it used to. Heck, we'll even have a white Christmas this December and instead of rekindling my childlike joy I curse the snow for screwing up the roads. I don't know how people like me put up the facade during family times, but I've done it pretty well. Or maybe not, of course no one's going to mention that they can see right through me. Hopefully they can't.
So there you go. Ba Humbug. To completely deflate myself on the way home tonight I said, "You know, if I was given the opportunity to work on Christmas, I'd put in at least 10 hours. I'd rather take the holiday pay. Heck, they're making me work on Christmas eve anyway."
It's just another day on the calendar. Nothing special. And why we put so much emphasis on that day to actually make it feel special just sets people like me up for this kind of failure later on in life.
I'll just be in the back corner counting my gold coins. Tap me on the shoulder in February when all of this holiday crap has passed. And until then you can call me Ebenezer.
It's gone.
What little ounce left of holiday cheer and Christmas spirit is gone.
And I knew it was gone when we watched, "Mickey's Christmas Carol" tonight and at the end everyone had that happy smile on their face when Tiny Tim gets picked up by Scrooge and then I turned to the people there and said, "Just your standard liberal propaganda." It got a couple laughs, but I was serious about it. I followed up with, "You know, this kind of stuff is meant for kids. You gotta get 'em started early."
And with that, I heard Santa sigh a little bit. Baby Jesus' cry was muffled and the Star of David turned slightly dull.
Another adult lost to the mentality of "Just another day on the calendar".
How did I get here? I used to be so excited about Christmas. And ever since that one special Christmas eve night (almost 10 years ago now), it's just become cheapened for me.
How I got here:
A) Commercialization of Christmas. Constantly trying to find the perfect gift for everyone. And knowing it'll never happen. And not getting gifts for people I know are going to get me gifts. And looking at a lot of my gifts and saying, "This is going to be a re-gift". As a kid I was definitely excited to get toys and money. But now? There is nothing I want that I don't already have. There is nothing that could really be bought for me (that someone could realistically afford) that would have actual meaning to me (other than an inside joke or something of that sort). I suppose it doesn't help that the "recession" word has been on everyone's lips for the past month.
B) Lack of spirituality. When I was younger I'd go to every single advent candle lighting. We'd have an advent calendar. I'd go down to Saint Marks because they had special Christmas season programs for the monks. I loved caroling, and even to this day I still enjoy Christmas music. On that last special Christmas, there was a hokey retelling of the birth of Jesus in our standing room only sanctuary. Where the light from an angel was a youngster willing to climb a ladder and shine a flash light down on a baby. On that Christmas the bell that rang at midnight to mark the change from Christmas eve to Christmas I felt to my core. It's an odd thing to say, but that night I felt like God was there, hugging us all. But no more. After almost 10 years of going to the midnight service, which I have continued to see dwindle every year in attendance since then (or maybe because the sanctuary is just too big and cold now) I am actually debating on going. If someone had asked me 5 years ago, there was no question I was going to be there. "This is a holiday tradition!" I would've scoffed. I have talked about living a balanced life a lot on this blog. I feel that this is one of the main things I am missing.
C) A combination of the holidays sneaking up on me and the routine just being that - routine. Being in Charleston until Halloween did not help my holiday attitude. I feel as if someone picked me up out of September and dumped me off in to the middle of December. There has been so much that has happened the past 2 months that I don't feel like I've had the chance to really settle in. And because of that, spending time with old friends and family just doesn't seem as interesting as it used to. Heck, we'll even have a white Christmas this December and instead of rekindling my childlike joy I curse the snow for screwing up the roads. I don't know how people like me put up the facade during family times, but I've done it pretty well. Or maybe not, of course no one's going to mention that they can see right through me. Hopefully they can't.
So there you go. Ba Humbug. To completely deflate myself on the way home tonight I said, "You know, if I was given the opportunity to work on Christmas, I'd put in at least 10 hours. I'd rather take the holiday pay. Heck, they're making me work on Christmas eve anyway."
It's just another day on the calendar. Nothing special. And why we put so much emphasis on that day to actually make it feel special just sets people like me up for this kind of failure later on in life.
I'll just be in the back corner counting my gold coins. Tap me on the shoulder in February when all of this holiday crap has passed. And until then you can call me Ebenezer.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
The Obligatory New Years Post
This time, before New Years!
Go figure.
I had time to write, so I wanted to put up something. Those that write blogs - ever notice that reading other people's blogs makes you want to write in yours?
It does for me. Sometimes.
And the fact that I have tomorrow off (hah in your face Monday!) I don't feel it's right to let Sunday night go so easily. Sunday nights are such a good time to write - or read. Good time to sit and reflect back on the week, or the month, or anything at all, before the cycle starts again.
And actually reading through my last new year's post gave me the impetus to write this years. I wanted to do it early for some reason. I wanted to get in in there before too much changed next year. Because of all the talk of change for 2009, I think my life will change. Not that it hasn't every year that I've been on this Earth.
So, like my January post from this year, let's recap what's been 2008, and see the things I was able to accomplish and not accomplish from what I resolved to do this year.
First off, 2008 in a nutshell:
-Made it past 25. I still exist. I am alive. I am healthy. As long as I have my health, everything is just fine.
-Made my motorcycle lesson appointment for this summer. Those never came to fruition. But I could taste it. The charge for the lessons even hit my credit card, cleared, and I paid for them. Only for them to be refunded. Yes, doing this was that big of a deal for me that it deserved a "dash".
-I've seen so many things this year. In my last new year's post I wrote that 2008 would be the "Year of Seth". It has been. I have never in my life experienced so many new things, seen so many sights, traveled the world. I drove from Seattle to Charleston and back. Here are the states I either saw, or actually stayed in: Idaho, Montana, South Dakota, Iowa, Nebraska, Kansas, Missouri, Illinois, Kentucky, Tennessee, North Carolina, South Carolina. On the way back we drove through the South and I saw Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, Arkansas, Oklahoma, Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, California, Oregon and finally back home to Washington. And that was just on the drive down to Charleston and back.
We also took a vacation and drove up the East Coast to New York. I can now say I've seen a good majority of the lower 48. And this country is amazing. And beautiful. I love road trips. A day of driving 10 hours doesn't seem bad to me any longer.
-I saw the sights in Europe over 2 ridiculous weeks. England, Germany, Italy, Netherlands, France, Austria, Switzerland. I'm probably forgetting something, but I stopped looking at a map after listing off all the states.
-Charleston. Beautiful, gorgeous, laid back Charleston. I loved it there. I miss it every day and lived almost the perfect life there. What an opportunity. I don't think I've written enough about it...so maybe I'll put up at least one more post dedicated solely to South Carolina.
Unfortunately I failed at a few things I resolved to do in 2008 because of our short term relocation. Those include: Not getting more defined abs. Sorry, people drink down there, and I had to try everything. Not just the booze, but the food too. Starting my MBA. Just wasn't going to happen while I was out of state. Unfortunately I'm not one of those online degree types.
-Run a marathon: Nope
-Earn 35% returns in the market: Hah, more like 3% (but still not losing!)
-Make more to-do lists: Na-uh
-Don't whine/complain as much: Yes! Completed!
-More driven at work/Search for other opportunities: It will be hard to top 2008 for me. I've also been involved in a few interviews this year. Add another point for me.
-Don't go to Vegas: Only 2 weeks left in the year and no plane ticket! Winner winner chicken dinner.
-Don't drink so much that I vomit: Still happening.
-Go get a pedicure: Yes, we did that for a July 4th celebration...to celebrate our independence from bad feet? I guess.
And that, in so many words, was my 2008. What a great year. If I wasn't coming out of such a gloom over the pats few weeks for coming home and then promptly getting sick, then it would look much better than it does right now.
So what's on the table for 2009. Lots. Every day is filled with plans (albeit not big) but still I will be doing at least something every day of 2009 just like I have every day of my life.
Things from 2008 I didn't accomplish that I want to in 2009:
-Start my MBA. I am planning on taking the GMAT this spring and planning to apply (and hopefully be accepted somewhere respectable - most likely Seattle University) in the fall. This is of course assuming I don't somehow get relocated again.
-After watching "The Dark Knight" this weekend, one of my resolutions for 2009 will be to be more like Batman. This entails a lot: Getting rich(er). Signing up for some form of martial arts training (I'm thinking Judo would be fun?). Signing up for those motorcycle lessons again.
-I give myself 2 nights of vomiting due to drunkenness. Why? Because 3 is too many, and 2 gives me just enough leeway to screw up at least once. This is a goal I failed miserably in 2008.
-Sports related goals: I always put up the dunk one, but I think that's out of reach now. I'll work on something more manageable. 1) Working on my short range jumpers for bball. I can shoot from the outside, I can post up and I can drive. Only one thing is missing. 2) Golf. I've got the power but I lack control. It's tough to hit a ball 250 yards if you can't find it. 3) Play raquetball for the first time ever. 4) Go to a Silvertips and Storm game. Neither of which I have been to. Possibly go down to Portland and catch a Blazers game?
-Be less cheap. I'm constantly calculating the cost of things. And what I could save if I just removed "X" out of my life. I'm doing a good job saving. I should worry less because all that saving won't do me any good if I can't enjoy it because I live a shortened life due to stress.
-Pray more. I thought I wrote this in my last new year's resolution but I didn't see it there. I think I might have written it in another post this year. That is something that I have accomplished in 2008, but I've noticed I only pray when I really want something. I'd like to expand my praying and definitely make it less selfish. I have always felt that living a balanced life was the key and the spiritual side of things has definitely been lacking recently.
-Experience more outside of my comfort zone. I am attracted to things that I've done before, because I know what to expect, and I go back to things that I like. I'm an alright fan of country, but I've never been to a concert before. I've never been to a metal or punk show before. What about the ballet? There are so many fantastic things to see and do near where I live. In Charleston I did everything in my power to go out and try new things because I knew I probably would never be able to live there again. And being given that ability to try something new every weekend if not every day was amazing. One of the many reasons that South Carolina was unforgettable for me.
-Go to Vegas. It's been 3 years. My hiatus is over.
That's good enough for now.
2008 has been such a great year for me. Sadly, I can't see how 2009 can be better but I'm going to try.
Hopefully around this time next year I can put check marks next to the entire list I've made for myself instead of just some of them. Until then, it'll be one day at a time.
Go figure.
I had time to write, so I wanted to put up something. Those that write blogs - ever notice that reading other people's blogs makes you want to write in yours?
It does for me. Sometimes.
And the fact that I have tomorrow off (hah in your face Monday!) I don't feel it's right to let Sunday night go so easily. Sunday nights are such a good time to write - or read. Good time to sit and reflect back on the week, or the month, or anything at all, before the cycle starts again.
And actually reading through my last new year's post gave me the impetus to write this years. I wanted to do it early for some reason. I wanted to get in in there before too much changed next year. Because of all the talk of change for 2009, I think my life will change. Not that it hasn't every year that I've been on this Earth.
So, like my January post from this year, let's recap what's been 2008, and see the things I was able to accomplish and not accomplish from what I resolved to do this year.
First off, 2008 in a nutshell:
-Made it past 25. I still exist. I am alive. I am healthy. As long as I have my health, everything is just fine.
-Made my motorcycle lesson appointment for this summer. Those never came to fruition. But I could taste it. The charge for the lessons even hit my credit card, cleared, and I paid for them. Only for them to be refunded. Yes, doing this was that big of a deal for me that it deserved a "dash".
-I've seen so many things this year. In my last new year's post I wrote that 2008 would be the "Year of Seth". It has been. I have never in my life experienced so many new things, seen so many sights, traveled the world. I drove from Seattle to Charleston and back. Here are the states I either saw, or actually stayed in: Idaho, Montana, South Dakota, Iowa, Nebraska, Kansas, Missouri, Illinois, Kentucky, Tennessee, North Carolina, South Carolina. On the way back we drove through the South and I saw Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, Arkansas, Oklahoma, Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, California, Oregon and finally back home to Washington. And that was just on the drive down to Charleston and back.
We also took a vacation and drove up the East Coast to New York. I can now say I've seen a good majority of the lower 48. And this country is amazing. And beautiful. I love road trips. A day of driving 10 hours doesn't seem bad to me any longer.
-I saw the sights in Europe over 2 ridiculous weeks. England, Germany, Italy, Netherlands, France, Austria, Switzerland. I'm probably forgetting something, but I stopped looking at a map after listing off all the states.
-Charleston. Beautiful, gorgeous, laid back Charleston. I loved it there. I miss it every day and lived almost the perfect life there. What an opportunity. I don't think I've written enough about it...so maybe I'll put up at least one more post dedicated solely to South Carolina.
Unfortunately I failed at a few things I resolved to do in 2008 because of our short term relocation. Those include: Not getting more defined abs. Sorry, people drink down there, and I had to try everything. Not just the booze, but the food too. Starting my MBA. Just wasn't going to happen while I was out of state. Unfortunately I'm not one of those online degree types.
-Run a marathon: Nope
-Earn 35% returns in the market: Hah, more like 3% (but still not losing!)
-Make more to-do lists: Na-uh
-Don't whine/complain as much: Yes! Completed!
-More driven at work/Search for other opportunities: It will be hard to top 2008 for me. I've also been involved in a few interviews this year. Add another point for me.
-Don't go to Vegas: Only 2 weeks left in the year and no plane ticket! Winner winner chicken dinner.
-Don't drink so much that I vomit: Still happening.
-Go get a pedicure: Yes, we did that for a July 4th celebration...to celebrate our independence from bad feet? I guess.
And that, in so many words, was my 2008. What a great year. If I wasn't coming out of such a gloom over the pats few weeks for coming home and then promptly getting sick, then it would look much better than it does right now.
So what's on the table for 2009. Lots. Every day is filled with plans (albeit not big) but still I will be doing at least something every day of 2009 just like I have every day of my life.
Things from 2008 I didn't accomplish that I want to in 2009:
-Start my MBA. I am planning on taking the GMAT this spring and planning to apply (and hopefully be accepted somewhere respectable - most likely Seattle University) in the fall. This is of course assuming I don't somehow get relocated again.
-After watching "The Dark Knight" this weekend, one of my resolutions for 2009 will be to be more like Batman. This entails a lot: Getting rich(er). Signing up for some form of martial arts training (I'm thinking Judo would be fun?). Signing up for those motorcycle lessons again.
-I give myself 2 nights of vomiting due to drunkenness. Why? Because 3 is too many, and 2 gives me just enough leeway to screw up at least once. This is a goal I failed miserably in 2008.
-Sports related goals: I always put up the dunk one, but I think that's out of reach now. I'll work on something more manageable. 1) Working on my short range jumpers for bball. I can shoot from the outside, I can post up and I can drive. Only one thing is missing. 2) Golf. I've got the power but I lack control. It's tough to hit a ball 250 yards if you can't find it. 3) Play raquetball for the first time ever. 4) Go to a Silvertips and Storm game. Neither of which I have been to. Possibly go down to Portland and catch a Blazers game?
-Be less cheap. I'm constantly calculating the cost of things. And what I could save if I just removed "X" out of my life. I'm doing a good job saving. I should worry less because all that saving won't do me any good if I can't enjoy it because I live a shortened life due to stress.
-Pray more. I thought I wrote this in my last new year's resolution but I didn't see it there. I think I might have written it in another post this year. That is something that I have accomplished in 2008, but I've noticed I only pray when I really want something. I'd like to expand my praying and definitely make it less selfish. I have always felt that living a balanced life was the key and the spiritual side of things has definitely been lacking recently.
-Experience more outside of my comfort zone. I am attracted to things that I've done before, because I know what to expect, and I go back to things that I like. I'm an alright fan of country, but I've never been to a concert before. I've never been to a metal or punk show before. What about the ballet? There are so many fantastic things to see and do near where I live. In Charleston I did everything in my power to go out and try new things because I knew I probably would never be able to live there again. And being given that ability to try something new every weekend if not every day was amazing. One of the many reasons that South Carolina was unforgettable for me.
-Go to Vegas. It's been 3 years. My hiatus is over.
That's good enough for now.
2008 has been such a great year for me. Sadly, I can't see how 2009 can be better but I'm going to try.
Hopefully around this time next year I can put check marks next to the entire list I've made for myself instead of just some of them. Until then, it'll be one day at a time.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Fantasy Football
*deep breath*
Yes, I actually for the first time searched my own blog to make sure I hadn't already written something about this. Sad.
For the first time this year, I am playing in more than 2 leagues. 3 to be exact. I know what you're thinking, wow big jump. Big woop.
But I can't wrap my head around it.
Around this pressure. Late at night, when I should be tired, I'm looking through player lists. Reading injury reports. Seeing how Santana Moss plays outdoor away games on turf in 20 to 40 degree weather.
Seriously?
And how much financially is this all worth? Because that's the the bottom line right? Am I not always pushing that aspect of things?
I am in 2 of my leagues with my wife.
Those league buy ins are $10 and $20. So multiply those by two and you get $60 total.
And I have one league that I am in on my own for $30.
Add all of those up and you come up with $90.
Sure, the payouts are nice...if you get 1st or 2nd in each league. Assuming I got first in each league (which I think has about a 20% probability of occurring) the payout would be $300. Not too shabby, but pretty unlikely. So actually, knowing that I have a 20% chance of winning $300 this year, I'm just going to say I'm probably going to win $60. Awesome, a loss of $30. Exactly the amount I spent to buy the wife in to these leagues...
We are currently in our 15th week. In fact, Chicago just beat New Orleans in overtime in a Thursday night roller coaster 27 to 24. Darn, because I just picked New Orleans to win that game earlier in my weekly NFL pick 'em I do with my friends (which is actually worth more than all my fantasy leagues combined dollar wise).
Anyway, every weekend, or throughout the week after Thursday night football starts, I sit down at the laptop, browse my current line up, figure out good matchups, good combos, take mental note of the star players my opponents are starting. I move players around, add and drop players, maybe pick up possible starters or up and coming rookies. All in total the time I spend on adjusting my fantasy line ups and reading fantasy football related news comes close to an hour every week. Which is assuming I've got something else going on in the background (reading emails/watching TV/listening to music) therefore not concentrating 100% on my team.
Now, while I was in Charleston the Hawks were not broadcast locally (except for at least one game that was nationally broadcast). So because of that I "had" to go to the local bar - D I G represent! - to catch my hawks along with 5 other games.
It was beautiful. Cheering for a lot of my players while simultaneously cheering against other players.
But all the while, there was that little stressor in the back of my mind.
C'mon Zorn! How do you run that in with Betts after Portis gets you there!
ARGGG another TD for Vincent Jackson...
Ugh, should've started Big Ben this weekend instead of Romo
And I can't decide if Fantasy Football has made the game more enjoyable for me, or made me an absolute slave to it.
Because, here's the kicker - it's not just money I'm playing for. In fact, I guess I should've included that at the beginning. Heck, I could be playing for a nickel in each league and I'd still be trying just as hard...why? Because it's about respect.
Fantasy Football is typically filled with guys. Out of my 3 leagues one of them is completely male, and another only has 1 female - which is the wife.
And guys earn respect by competing with other men. Well, at least some of us do. You beat me, I tried my best, you earn my respect.
But here's the problem with that in Fantasy Football. You can control your line up until the first whistle to each game blows. After that, it's completely out of your hands.
So, you do your best with what you have post draft. You scrounge the free agent bin for strays that people missed in the draft or for possible breakout seasons. Maybe a star player got hurt in the first week *cough Tom Brady cough* and now there's suddenly an opening at QB on your roster? You try your best to put together your best starting team given the players that are available for you.
And you win or lose completely based off of nothing you do while the game is actually occurring. Now, if there were live Fantasy Football where you could bench players on the spot and the online fantasy leagues could give you the ability to play any available WR for 60 minutes (assuming Randy Moss was hot late in the 4th quarter you could pull him up for 8 minutes for one of your WR slots) - wow, what an idea.
But, we don't have that. That would be way too involved. Not that it isn't already.
What I'm trying to get to though is that I can't control the fact that Brian Westbrook puts up 30 points a game for the last 3 games and then *crosses fingers* somehow rolls his ankle on the 2nd hand off from scrimmage. It's not the same in other sports I compete in where I almost have complete control over what happens in the game I am playing. I can at least control how I am playing.
I just get to feeling so helpless it's sad. Adrian Peterson puts up 10 points last week in a winning effort and I'm disgruntled because he was projected for 17. Clinton Portis falls off the past few weeks and then comes out with some strong words about his coach.
Great. So after putting in way too much time thinking, discussing and analyzing all of this it's come down to this.
Week 15.
The first week of playoffs in 2 of my 3 leagues. After drafting 2nd out of 10, 7th out of 10 and 7th out of 8 I go in to the playoffs in 2nd place, 4th place, and 3rd place respectively. I've had a solid year, and from my mostly male dominated leagues have been given respect. (At least I think I have - you know guys, we don't communicate well). But the cream has risen to the top. And now I'm playing guys that I also respect. Why? Because they've put in the same work as I have. Some have even made double the number of moves I've made. They've beat me during the regular season and have put up some scary numbers.
In the two playoff games I face this weekend I am projected to score less than my opponents. In the league I am 4th in I face the 1st seed. I am projected to score 100 points and him 125. He had Colston and Forte tonight and combined they were projected to score 26 points. Together they scored 26 points. Great. I'm playing for 3rd in that league.
In the other playoff game I am also an underdog but not by as much. 95 to 100. I'm going to need big games from Jason Campbell, Santana Moss, Dominic Rhodes, Adam Vinateri, and Indiniapolis's defense. Yes. I do have all of them starting for these 2 playoff teams. Pretty amazing how that happened.
So, good luck to my players. I'll need at least one big performance from somebody. Because making it to the playoffs is one thing. But actually getting paid for all of this "work" is another thing.
And that is exactly why I love and hate fantasy football.
Yes, I actually for the first time searched my own blog to make sure I hadn't already written something about this. Sad.
For the first time this year, I am playing in more than 2 leagues. 3 to be exact. I know what you're thinking, wow big jump. Big woop.
But I can't wrap my head around it.
Around this pressure. Late at night, when I should be tired, I'm looking through player lists. Reading injury reports. Seeing how Santana Moss plays outdoor away games on turf in 20 to 40 degree weather.
Seriously?
And how much financially is this all worth? Because that's the the bottom line right? Am I not always pushing that aspect of things?
I am in 2 of my leagues with my wife.
Those league buy ins are $10 and $20. So multiply those by two and you get $60 total.
And I have one league that I am in on my own for $30.
Add all of those up and you come up with $90.
Sure, the payouts are nice...if you get 1st or 2nd in each league. Assuming I got first in each league (which I think has about a 20% probability of occurring) the payout would be $300. Not too shabby, but pretty unlikely. So actually, knowing that I have a 20% chance of winning $300 this year, I'm just going to say I'm probably going to win $60. Awesome, a loss of $30. Exactly the amount I spent to buy the wife in to these leagues...
We are currently in our 15th week. In fact, Chicago just beat New Orleans in overtime in a Thursday night roller coaster 27 to 24. Darn, because I just picked New Orleans to win that game earlier in my weekly NFL pick 'em I do with my friends (which is actually worth more than all my fantasy leagues combined dollar wise).
Anyway, every weekend, or throughout the week after Thursday night football starts, I sit down at the laptop, browse my current line up, figure out good matchups, good combos, take mental note of the star players my opponents are starting. I move players around, add and drop players, maybe pick up possible starters or up and coming rookies. All in total the time I spend on adjusting my fantasy line ups and reading fantasy football related news comes close to an hour every week. Which is assuming I've got something else going on in the background (reading emails/watching TV/listening to music) therefore not concentrating 100% on my team.
Now, while I was in Charleston the Hawks were not broadcast locally (except for at least one game that was nationally broadcast). So because of that I "had" to go to the local bar - D I G represent! - to catch my hawks along with 5 other games.
It was beautiful. Cheering for a lot of my players while simultaneously cheering against other players.
But all the while, there was that little stressor in the back of my mind.
C'mon Zorn! How do you run that in with Betts after Portis gets you there!
ARGGG another TD for Vincent Jackson...
Ugh, should've started Big Ben this weekend instead of Romo
And I can't decide if Fantasy Football has made the game more enjoyable for me, or made me an absolute slave to it.
Because, here's the kicker - it's not just money I'm playing for. In fact, I guess I should've included that at the beginning. Heck, I could be playing for a nickel in each league and I'd still be trying just as hard...why? Because it's about respect.
Fantasy Football is typically filled with guys. Out of my 3 leagues one of them is completely male, and another only has 1 female - which is the wife.
And guys earn respect by competing with other men. Well, at least some of us do. You beat me, I tried my best, you earn my respect.
But here's the problem with that in Fantasy Football. You can control your line up until the first whistle to each game blows. After that, it's completely out of your hands.
So, you do your best with what you have post draft. You scrounge the free agent bin for strays that people missed in the draft or for possible breakout seasons. Maybe a star player got hurt in the first week *cough Tom Brady cough* and now there's suddenly an opening at QB on your roster? You try your best to put together your best starting team given the players that are available for you.
And you win or lose completely based off of nothing you do while the game is actually occurring. Now, if there were live Fantasy Football where you could bench players on the spot and the online fantasy leagues could give you the ability to play any available WR for 60 minutes (assuming Randy Moss was hot late in the 4th quarter you could pull him up for 8 minutes for one of your WR slots) - wow, what an idea.
But, we don't have that. That would be way too involved. Not that it isn't already.
What I'm trying to get to though is that I can't control the fact that Brian Westbrook puts up 30 points a game for the last 3 games and then *crosses fingers* somehow rolls his ankle on the 2nd hand off from scrimmage. It's not the same in other sports I compete in where I almost have complete control over what happens in the game I am playing. I can at least control how I am playing.
I just get to feeling so helpless it's sad. Adrian Peterson puts up 10 points last week in a winning effort and I'm disgruntled because he was projected for 17. Clinton Portis falls off the past few weeks and then comes out with some strong words about his coach.
Great. So after putting in way too much time thinking, discussing and analyzing all of this it's come down to this.
Week 15.
The first week of playoffs in 2 of my 3 leagues. After drafting 2nd out of 10, 7th out of 10 and 7th out of 8 I go in to the playoffs in 2nd place, 4th place, and 3rd place respectively. I've had a solid year, and from my mostly male dominated leagues have been given respect. (At least I think I have - you know guys, we don't communicate well). But the cream has risen to the top. And now I'm playing guys that I also respect. Why? Because they've put in the same work as I have. Some have even made double the number of moves I've made. They've beat me during the regular season and have put up some scary numbers.
In the two playoff games I face this weekend I am projected to score less than my opponents. In the league I am 4th in I face the 1st seed. I am projected to score 100 points and him 125. He had Colston and Forte tonight and combined they were projected to score 26 points. Together they scored 26 points. Great. I'm playing for 3rd in that league.
In the other playoff game I am also an underdog but not by as much. 95 to 100. I'm going to need big games from Jason Campbell, Santana Moss, Dominic Rhodes, Adam Vinateri, and Indiniapolis's defense. Yes. I do have all of them starting for these 2 playoff teams. Pretty amazing how that happened.
So, good luck to my players. I'll need at least one big performance from somebody. Because making it to the playoffs is one thing. But actually getting paid for all of this "work" is another thing.
And that is exactly why I love and hate fantasy football.
Sunday, December 07, 2008
The Worst Sports Year Ever
Well, I was waiting for this weekend to make it official.
I could have written this even a week ago. But I guess I was just lazy.
There is something in the water in Seattle. At least in 2008.
Because this has been the worst sports year ever. And it's not even that we're lovable losers anymore. It's that we now have actually had some semblance of competitiveness in each sport we play, and yet for some reason absolutely nothing has gone right for any of our teams. It's like a plague that has spread from franchise to franchise.
Looking back on it now I can't believe that before I left for Charleston in April that I told my dad that if we made a run for the pennant I'd never forgive myself for missing it. There were actually people out there that were predicting how well we were going to do. I told him that I would fly home just to catch a world series game. It's a once in a lifetime sort of deal and he said he would do everything in his power to get me a ticket if we did make it that far.
Uhhh, I guess I just jinxed us then?
But before I go down that road, let's break it down to see how this was actually the worst year ever in all of the Seattle sports I follow. And as a heads up, those sports are the NFL, NBA, MLB college basketball and football.
January/February 2008: Hawks make the Divisional playoff and lose to Greenbay. I think this is where the downturn started. Writing about this now makes it seem like it was years ago. But really, it was the beginning of this year.
However, I don't count us losing in the playoffs as 2008 though. Because we made the playoffs based off of what the team did in 2007. And the NFC west is the worst division in the league. So for us to make the playoffs...is almost like taking candy from a machine which dispenses candy for free. More on this later.
March/April (2008): There is no big dance to speak of. Even the NIT snubs us (although IMO we were definitely more deserving than at least 3 of the schools that got the invite).
Husky basketball goes 17-17 during the entire season and even loses at home in a tournament for the real suckers (W...T...F is "College Basketball Invitational"?) it was seriously an embarrassment. Which I think you'll find is a reoccurring theme throughout this past year. Husky basketball I still have the most love for. The new season started last month and we are looking better than last year, but it's still not enough. Maybe if we can somehow squeeze in to the big dance in 2009 it might make the pain from this year a little bit easier to bear.
May/June/July: There is no NBA playoffs to speak of. I go to a few games earlier in the year (so this is actually filed under the wrong section, I just wanted to mention that the Sonics weren't even CLOSE to being in contention for a playoff run), which will now go down as my last games in Key arena. I get drunk and yell profanities at Earl Watson for being the worst point guard in the history of the NBA. He really isn't but on the nights I was there he was. The sonics put up an absolutely horrendous 20 and 62 season. In fact, it was so bad that I wish they got honorable mention on this list. But alas they don't.
Oh, and did I mention the whole time that the season was occuring that there was a "battle" happening over whether or not the team would be moved to Oklahoma City? And we all know how that ended up turning out. Key Arena was such a depressing place to be this past year. I even think the storm got better turn out than the Sonics did. The only time people actually came to see the Sonics? Was when they were playing other teams that fans were interested in seeing more than the home team. Which I was definitely guilty of.
But now, they're gone. And all I have left are the memories of the 1995 NBA finals. Kemp, Payton, Dale Ellis, Schrempf, Hersey Hawkins. Heck, even the run we made in 2005. I'll throw it in there. Now, I feel like the 3 sports of city of Seattle has now become a little bit more gray. Nothing to look forward to to bring us out of winter in to these perfect Seattle summers. No more Callabro. I just kind of have to sigh and laugh about how the Oklahoma City BLUNDER are doing. They are currently 2-19 and I think trying to beat out last year's Sonic team. I hope you're happy Bennett.
August/September: The worst season in NCAA Pac-10 Football history starts. Who knew it would get this bad? I mean, I guess I could kind of see it coming...I wanted Ty out last year but everyone was telling me that he needed another year. Why? The guy is a terrible coach, terrible recruiter, and actually lost games for us just because he doesn't understand basic coaching strategy. I caught a few games on TV down in Charleston (amazed that they showed them!) and the supposed "home team" announcers questioned his decisions at least twice a game. The guy lacked everything. A winning resume. Charisma. Coaching knowledge. Good riddance.
But look where it got us? ZERO WINS. Not one. Big goose egg and a number 12 after it. There is not one other team across all 119 NCAA Division 1 football teams that lost all of their games. Except for us. Embarassment, shame, anger. Have I been a victim of some crime? No, only the association to my once proud alma mater. And this is exactly what I was waiting for. I was waiting for Cal to destroy us on Saturday. And I watched most of it. Heck, I caught more than half the season for being gone for most of it.
And I'll still remember Jake Locker running in to the end zone versus BYU and tossing that ball up. I'll remember Willingham giving up on a first half with a minute and 40 seconds to go, timeouts and the ball. I'll remember our defense which couldn't stop a 4th grade class of peewee footballers. I'll remember that heart breaking loss to Wazzu in overtime. But most of all, I will remember the worst season in PAC-10 history. Not even in UW history only. But in the PAC-10. Which is saying a lot seeing as how many of the schools have been around since the early 1800s.
October: Wasn't I supposed to be flying home at this time? To catch at least one of the World Series games? Remember dad? Remember how you said we would get tickets to my first World Series game ever?
The pitching was laughable. The hitting was nonexistant. The coaches were asleep. Fans used Safeco field more as a beer garden then an actual sporting venue. If we could've just lost a few more games we could've been part of history by joining this list. I mean we were only 15 games away from getting on that loserboard at a ridiculous 61 and 101 this year. What must it feel like to lose 100 times? I mean, I'm sure over my life time I've lost that many times given the number of things I compete in. But in one season? I think I was already calculating our "magic number" to not make the playoffs by May.
Just another pathetic excuse for a professional sports team based out of the good ole Northwest.
November-Present day: The one thing I've been able to hang my hat on the past few years is gone. At least when all else was lost I could point to the Seahawks and say: There's a team that is representing us properly. Let's beat up on all of the other weak teams in our division and make the playoffs! We've been a shoe-in since 2004. It was almost like we good just be on cruise control throughout the entire season because we knew that Arizona, San Fran and Saint Louis were just that bad. And of course we were on cruise control seeing as how often we've lost in the past 5 years any time we've gone on the road.
That was fine with me though. Because an above .500 team in the worst division in the league would be able to sleep it's way in to the playoffs. Well, I think that's what happened this year. The team just got the feeling that I had. That we could just saunter in to the playoffs like we have done in previous years.
Unfortunately that wasn't the case. Hasselbeck's been hurt. We've had walk-ons for wide receiver, offensive line and our secondary. And Arizona's finally made something out of that high powered offense. So now what? So now, we are the worst team in one of the worst divisions in the NFL. This one probably hurts the most because at least in the MLB we're in a ridiculous division where 90 wins guarantees you nothing. In the NBA our conference has been strong (or at the least respectable) for a decade. But the NFC west? It's been a joke as long as I can remember. And for us to be the cellar dwellers right now at 2-11 after another gut wrenching loss to New England today...it's too much.
This had to be written.
On the bright side - although it doesn't seem like there is much of one - there is change coming. New coaches. New managers. High picks in the draft due to a terrible previous season. New recruits. As I've mentioned in regards to other things that are going on right now - I mean really, can it get any worse that what I've endured regarding sports in 2008? I wasn't even here for half the year!
But to all of you true hometown fans out there (like myself), the more we continue to hold on through these tough times, the sweeter it will taste when we finally get that championship. Hopefully you'll see me in the crowd years down the road at the World Series/NBA Finals (go Portland)/Superbowl/Final Four/NCAA National Championship. And when we finally take one down you won't be able to wipe the smile off my face.
I could have written this even a week ago. But I guess I was just lazy.
There is something in the water in Seattle. At least in 2008.
Because this has been the worst sports year ever. And it's not even that we're lovable losers anymore. It's that we now have actually had some semblance of competitiveness in each sport we play, and yet for some reason absolutely nothing has gone right for any of our teams. It's like a plague that has spread from franchise to franchise.
Looking back on it now I can't believe that before I left for Charleston in April that I told my dad that if we made a run for the pennant I'd never forgive myself for missing it. There were actually people out there that were predicting how well we were going to do. I told him that I would fly home just to catch a world series game. It's a once in a lifetime sort of deal and he said he would do everything in his power to get me a ticket if we did make it that far.
Uhhh, I guess I just jinxed us then?
But before I go down that road, let's break it down to see how this was actually the worst year ever in all of the Seattle sports I follow. And as a heads up, those sports are the NFL, NBA, MLB college basketball and football.
January/February 2008: Hawks make the Divisional playoff and lose to Greenbay. I think this is where the downturn started. Writing about this now makes it seem like it was years ago. But really, it was the beginning of this year.
However, I don't count us losing in the playoffs as 2008 though. Because we made the playoffs based off of what the team did in 2007. And the NFC west is the worst division in the league. So for us to make the playoffs...is almost like taking candy from a machine which dispenses candy for free. More on this later.
March/April (2008): There is no big dance to speak of. Even the NIT snubs us (although IMO we were definitely more deserving than at least 3 of the schools that got the invite).
Husky basketball goes 17-17 during the entire season and even loses at home in a tournament for the real suckers (W...T...F is "College Basketball Invitational"?) it was seriously an embarrassment. Which I think you'll find is a reoccurring theme throughout this past year. Husky basketball I still have the most love for. The new season started last month and we are looking better than last year, but it's still not enough. Maybe if we can somehow squeeze in to the big dance in 2009 it might make the pain from this year a little bit easier to bear.
May/June/July: There is no NBA playoffs to speak of. I go to a few games earlier in the year (so this is actually filed under the wrong section, I just wanted to mention that the Sonics weren't even CLOSE to being in contention for a playoff run), which will now go down as my last games in Key arena. I get drunk and yell profanities at Earl Watson for being the worst point guard in the history of the NBA. He really isn't but on the nights I was there he was. The sonics put up an absolutely horrendous 20 and 62 season. In fact, it was so bad that I wish they got honorable mention on this list. But alas they don't.
Oh, and did I mention the whole time that the season was occuring that there was a "battle" happening over whether or not the team would be moved to Oklahoma City? And we all know how that ended up turning out. Key Arena was such a depressing place to be this past year. I even think the storm got better turn out than the Sonics did. The only time people actually came to see the Sonics? Was when they were playing other teams that fans were interested in seeing more than the home team. Which I was definitely guilty of.
But now, they're gone. And all I have left are the memories of the 1995 NBA finals. Kemp, Payton, Dale Ellis, Schrempf, Hersey Hawkins. Heck, even the run we made in 2005. I'll throw it in there. Now, I feel like the 3 sports of city of Seattle has now become a little bit more gray. Nothing to look forward to to bring us out of winter in to these perfect Seattle summers. No more Callabro. I just kind of have to sigh and laugh about how the Oklahoma City BLUNDER are doing. They are currently 2-19 and I think trying to beat out last year's Sonic team. I hope you're happy Bennett.
August/September: The worst season in NCAA Pac-10 Football history starts. Who knew it would get this bad? I mean, I guess I could kind of see it coming...I wanted Ty out last year but everyone was telling me that he needed another year. Why? The guy is a terrible coach, terrible recruiter, and actually lost games for us just because he doesn't understand basic coaching strategy. I caught a few games on TV down in Charleston (amazed that they showed them!) and the supposed "home team" announcers questioned his decisions at least twice a game. The guy lacked everything. A winning resume. Charisma. Coaching knowledge. Good riddance.
But look where it got us? ZERO WINS. Not one. Big goose egg and a number 12 after it. There is not one other team across all 119 NCAA Division 1 football teams that lost all of their games. Except for us. Embarassment, shame, anger. Have I been a victim of some crime? No, only the association to my once proud alma mater. And this is exactly what I was waiting for. I was waiting for Cal to destroy us on Saturday. And I watched most of it. Heck, I caught more than half the season for being gone for most of it.
And I'll still remember Jake Locker running in to the end zone versus BYU and tossing that ball up. I'll remember Willingham giving up on a first half with a minute and 40 seconds to go, timeouts and the ball. I'll remember our defense which couldn't stop a 4th grade class of peewee footballers. I'll remember that heart breaking loss to Wazzu in overtime. But most of all, I will remember the worst season in PAC-10 history. Not even in UW history only. But in the PAC-10. Which is saying a lot seeing as how many of the schools have been around since the early 1800s.
October: Wasn't I supposed to be flying home at this time? To catch at least one of the World Series games? Remember dad? Remember how you said we would get tickets to my first World Series game ever?
The pitching was laughable. The hitting was nonexistant. The coaches were asleep. Fans used Safeco field more as a beer garden then an actual sporting venue. If we could've just lost a few more games we could've been part of history by joining this list. I mean we were only 15 games away from getting on that loserboard at a ridiculous 61 and 101 this year. What must it feel like to lose 100 times? I mean, I'm sure over my life time I've lost that many times given the number of things I compete in. But in one season? I think I was already calculating our "magic number" to not make the playoffs by May.
Just another pathetic excuse for a professional sports team based out of the good ole Northwest.
November-Present day: The one thing I've been able to hang my hat on the past few years is gone. At least when all else was lost I could point to the Seahawks and say: There's a team that is representing us properly. Let's beat up on all of the other weak teams in our division and make the playoffs! We've been a shoe-in since 2004. It was almost like we good just be on cruise control throughout the entire season because we knew that Arizona, San Fran and Saint Louis were just that bad. And of course we were on cruise control seeing as how often we've lost in the past 5 years any time we've gone on the road.
That was fine with me though. Because an above .500 team in the worst division in the league would be able to sleep it's way in to the playoffs. Well, I think that's what happened this year. The team just got the feeling that I had. That we could just saunter in to the playoffs like we have done in previous years.
Unfortunately that wasn't the case. Hasselbeck's been hurt. We've had walk-ons for wide receiver, offensive line and our secondary. And Arizona's finally made something out of that high powered offense. So now what? So now, we are the worst team in one of the worst divisions in the NFL. This one probably hurts the most because at least in the MLB we're in a ridiculous division where 90 wins guarantees you nothing. In the NBA our conference has been strong (or at the least respectable) for a decade. But the NFC west? It's been a joke as long as I can remember. And for us to be the cellar dwellers right now at 2-11 after another gut wrenching loss to New England today...it's too much.
This had to be written.
On the bright side - although it doesn't seem like there is much of one - there is change coming. New coaches. New managers. High picks in the draft due to a terrible previous season. New recruits. As I've mentioned in regards to other things that are going on right now - I mean really, can it get any worse that what I've endured regarding sports in 2008? I wasn't even here for half the year!
But to all of you true hometown fans out there (like myself), the more we continue to hold on through these tough times, the sweeter it will taste when we finally get that championship. Hopefully you'll see me in the crowd years down the road at the World Series/NBA Finals (go Portland)/Superbowl/Final Four/NCAA National Championship. And when we finally take one down you won't be able to wipe the smile off my face.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
A Historical Election
So I think a bit of the dust has settled now.
And so many other bloggers have mentioned something about it, so without much else to write about (or nothing else that I thought would be interesting to read) tonight I've decided to put it on here.
Good job Barack.
You beat a pretty feeble opponent in McCain.
With Oprah's backing alone you basically won the presidency. She does after all have about 30 million faithful followers. I'm not saying that every single one of them voted for you because of her - but I'm just going to say that it definitely helped more than it hurt (the millions that she gave you aren't anything to scoff at either).
It's really tough living in the Northwest. Everyone is so damned emotional about their politics. And God forbid that anyone think differently - or out here - conservatively.
I don't connect well with most people when it comes to politics. This is one of those things that I am not black and white on. People think that you either have to be a democrat or a republican. And then when you belong to a specific group you have to share the same basic values; vote along party lines.
Well, here are mine:
I relate most to the fiscal conservatives. I believe in as low as taxes as possible and as little government as possible. But, I am liberal when it comes to basically everything else. I believe in the legalization of gay marriage, marijuana, right for women to make the decisions for their bodies - in fact, right for anyone to do anything to their own bodies. My saying was always, "As long as you are not harming others" you can basically do anything you please.
So where do I fit? Nowhere really.
Which is why I don't vote - and I've mentioned this before. 4 years from now I've decided to vote though. There are too many local initiatives that will affect my life that I'd like to have a say on.
But the president? There's no way my 1 vote out here in the bluest state of them all would even count.
I hated hearing the "don't forget to vote". Seeing all the emails. The commercials. The signs on the side of the road. What waste. Obama was a lock. And for people not to see that is kind of crazy. Yes. I even bet money on him. That's how sure of it I was. Sure, I had made a previous bet when I didn't even know the name "Barack", but that was back then.
And here we are now. Less than 2 months away from a new presidency.
There are a few things I'd like to say about the upcoming presidency.
-I am a big believer in timing. In my opinion, any charismatic, well educated and spoken person with the proper people behind them could take this country out of the shit hole we've got ourselves in. And seriously? It is not that bad (I've mentioned this before). When people talk about who the best president of this country ever was - they mention FDR. He did after all bring us out of the great depression. But you know what? Could he have just been the right guy at the right time? Imagine if FDR was born 30 or 40 years later. Would he be the best president in American's minds then? Sure, it's a bit of a weak argument because anyone could argue timing - but Barack is taking over at a great time. And it's only because it can't really get that much worse. Sure it can, but a lot of the pain from the initial shock has already hit - and any more pain will be met with a bit of numbness or maybe a callous.
-Which is exactly why what Barack might be doing is a bit dangerous. If people Hope for Change what are they actually hoping for? I was laughing to myself on election night because they showed Harlem on TV. People cheering, people crying. Guess what? All of those people had to go back to Harlem that night. The unemployed, the homeless, the hungry, they all returned to where they came from the same way. Nothing had changed for them. Will anything change for you and I? People get the economy and politics mixed up all the time. But our economy goes boom and bust every decade. And yet, every decade we continue to attribute a good economy to the current presidency, and on the flip side blame the presidency when things aren't going our way. Everyone pointed to the republicans this election, but did everyone forget that we've had a great ecomony (albeit inflated by home prices) from '02 to '07? People quickly forget things (in a year) when things start turning south. I'm sure 5-7 years from now I'll be writing about how everyone has already forgotten about how "bad" it was in '08 and '09. So, wake up, as usual your life is what you make it. You have no one to blame but yourself and blaming those (or thanking those) in office is just downright silly.
Hope is an interesting thing. It's something that this country has stood upon for decades.
Personally, I hope that at the end of this that we have more than just hope. The weight of so many livelihoods rests on the shoulder of a new presidency. A new party.
So somethings will change.
I hope that the greatest empire ever to have lived on this Earth is either still in growth phase or at least treading water. I do not want to be part of the demise...
And so many other bloggers have mentioned something about it, so without much else to write about (or nothing else that I thought would be interesting to read) tonight I've decided to put it on here.
Good job Barack.
You beat a pretty feeble opponent in McCain.
With Oprah's backing alone you basically won the presidency. She does after all have about 30 million faithful followers. I'm not saying that every single one of them voted for you because of her - but I'm just going to say that it definitely helped more than it hurt (the millions that she gave you aren't anything to scoff at either).
It's really tough living in the Northwest. Everyone is so damned emotional about their politics. And God forbid that anyone think differently - or out here - conservatively.
I don't connect well with most people when it comes to politics. This is one of those things that I am not black and white on. People think that you either have to be a democrat or a republican. And then when you belong to a specific group you have to share the same basic values; vote along party lines.
Well, here are mine:
I relate most to the fiscal conservatives. I believe in as low as taxes as possible and as little government as possible. But, I am liberal when it comes to basically everything else. I believe in the legalization of gay marriage, marijuana, right for women to make the decisions for their bodies - in fact, right for anyone to do anything to their own bodies. My saying was always, "As long as you are not harming others" you can basically do anything you please.
So where do I fit? Nowhere really.
Which is why I don't vote - and I've mentioned this before. 4 years from now I've decided to vote though. There are too many local initiatives that will affect my life that I'd like to have a say on.
But the president? There's no way my 1 vote out here in the bluest state of them all would even count.
I hated hearing the "don't forget to vote". Seeing all the emails. The commercials. The signs on the side of the road. What waste. Obama was a lock. And for people not to see that is kind of crazy. Yes. I even bet money on him. That's how sure of it I was. Sure, I had made a previous bet when I didn't even know the name "Barack", but that was back then.
And here we are now. Less than 2 months away from a new presidency.
There are a few things I'd like to say about the upcoming presidency.
-I am a big believer in timing. In my opinion, any charismatic, well educated and spoken person with the proper people behind them could take this country out of the shit hole we've got ourselves in. And seriously? It is not that bad (I've mentioned this before). When people talk about who the best president of this country ever was - they mention FDR. He did after all bring us out of the great depression. But you know what? Could he have just been the right guy at the right time? Imagine if FDR was born 30 or 40 years later. Would he be the best president in American's minds then? Sure, it's a bit of a weak argument because anyone could argue timing - but Barack is taking over at a great time. And it's only because it can't really get that much worse. Sure it can, but a lot of the pain from the initial shock has already hit - and any more pain will be met with a bit of numbness or maybe a callous.
-Which is exactly why what Barack might be doing is a bit dangerous. If people Hope for Change what are they actually hoping for? I was laughing to myself on election night because they showed Harlem on TV. People cheering, people crying. Guess what? All of those people had to go back to Harlem that night. The unemployed, the homeless, the hungry, they all returned to where they came from the same way. Nothing had changed for them. Will anything change for you and I? People get the economy and politics mixed up all the time. But our economy goes boom and bust every decade. And yet, every decade we continue to attribute a good economy to the current presidency, and on the flip side blame the presidency when things aren't going our way. Everyone pointed to the republicans this election, but did everyone forget that we've had a great ecomony (albeit inflated by home prices) from '02 to '07? People quickly forget things (in a year) when things start turning south. I'm sure 5-7 years from now I'll be writing about how everyone has already forgotten about how "bad" it was in '08 and '09. So, wake up, as usual your life is what you make it. You have no one to blame but yourself and blaming those (or thanking those) in office is just downright silly.
Hope is an interesting thing. It's something that this country has stood upon for decades.
Personally, I hope that at the end of this that we have more than just hope. The weight of so many livelihoods rests on the shoulder of a new presidency. A new party.
So somethings will change.
I hope that the greatest empire ever to have lived on this Earth is either still in growth phase or at least treading water. I do not want to be part of the demise...
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Reap What WE Sow - Part 2
You can read Part 1 here.
So now everything's come down.
Those that had too much greed were placed in positions of too much power.
And just like before, when things became too good to be true, the invisble hand came through and bitch slapped a lot of people.
Unfortunately a lot of us small people (as I like to refer to someone like me) got hurt in the process.
So remember those people that couldn't afford those houses that I mentioned in Part 1?
Well, someone smart had an idea that they could package up those loans and sell them to someone else, who offered them to willing investors who were offered amazing returns with very little risk.
Because Joe Schmoe was surely going to pay for his mortgage when his 5/1 ARM ballooned up from 5% to 18% right? I mean there is no way in hell Sally Schmoe (of no relation to Joe) was going to lose money on her home investment! Look at how much housing prices had risen in the past year! Of course she could be $0 down on a neg am loan. I mean what does "neg am" really mean anyway? That she could get that monthly payment down to a manageable amount and own the house of her dreams. Finally she was living the American dream.
And we all know how that's going to end. Or do we?
So we got caught up in the housing bubble.
And now no one can pay their mortgages.
And they packaged those mortgages in to investments.
Which they then sold on the street.
Which they then used to invest in a market that was also bubbling at 50 to 1 margin. So for every $200K home loan that the Schmoes knew they couldn't afford, John Schmuck was out there trading $10 million dollars in who knows what.
But I'll tell you this much: Not many people make money in a bear market. Even bears tend to get a little bit bullish when the market's fallen that standard 20% to represent a "true" bear market. Sorry if they got in 20% too early...that's going to sting when not only have we lost the Schmoe's original loan amounts but we've lost an extra few million on top of it. Now remind me how much 20% of $10 million dollars is for each loan a bank sold for $200K? So you're telling me you lost how much?
All the while consumers continue to rack up debt...not seeing the horrible multi car pile up that's coming miles down the highway. Now they've lost 40% in their 401Ks. The half a million dollar house they bought 2 years ago is now worth half of a half of a million dollars. They realized all of the 0% interest credit cards were only for a promotional period and forgot to pay them. Joe's company is getting downsized and Sally's been on unemployment for 2 months already. This is definitely not going to be a happy Christmas!
And they're scared. The giant feed back loop that is the media is doing nothing to assuage the fears - rather massage them. Nothing better than ratings right? Telling us about how bad everything is out there.
But it's not that bad. I'm sitting here in my half million dollar house. Which is warm from the heat I can afford to pay for this house. In front of my TV which has been paid off from my 0% promotional credit card. I put on clean, gently used clothing tonight which was my own which was paid full price for. And I ate a hearty meal of chicken tacos and salad and will be having cake shortly.
This is not the great depression. Personally I'd love to see another depression because we needed some sense slapped in us. Admittedly a lot of us would suffer a great deal (definitely including me) if we went through something like that again. 25%+ unemployment rate. Food banks with lines around the block. Nothing but salted, boiled water to eat again for dinner tonight. And probably breakfast. And someone's got to chop down that last evergreen out front to make kindling for the fire tonight. Living through something like that might change American's consumption habit...or at the least overconsumption.
I am interested to see where this does go though. All the bailouts that are occuring could be the start of something good again for this country - or in a few years we may point back to this time and realize what idiots we were. For the sake of the majority, I pray it's the former.
For now though we have to let time work out it's course. In my opinion we all are to blame (admittedly some more than others) so in our own ways we will all suffer.
The recession hasn't been technically decalred yet. And the layoffs are just starting now.
Is it time to move from the "greatest nation on Earth" to one of the "greatest empires to ever exist on Earth?"
Unfortunately I don't think the word hubris was meant to be applicable only to the ancient Greeks.
So now everything's come down.
Those that had too much greed were placed in positions of too much power.
And just like before, when things became too good to be true, the invisble hand came through and bitch slapped a lot of people.
Unfortunately a lot of us small people (as I like to refer to someone like me) got hurt in the process.
So remember those people that couldn't afford those houses that I mentioned in Part 1?
Well, someone smart had an idea that they could package up those loans and sell them to someone else, who offered them to willing investors who were offered amazing returns with very little risk.
Because Joe Schmoe was surely going to pay for his mortgage when his 5/1 ARM ballooned up from 5% to 18% right? I mean there is no way in hell Sally Schmoe (of no relation to Joe) was going to lose money on her home investment! Look at how much housing prices had risen in the past year! Of course she could be $0 down on a neg am loan. I mean what does "neg am" really mean anyway? That she could get that monthly payment down to a manageable amount and own the house of her dreams. Finally she was living the American dream.
And we all know how that's going to end. Or do we?
So we got caught up in the housing bubble.
And now no one can pay their mortgages.
And they packaged those mortgages in to investments.
Which they then sold on the street.
Which they then used to invest in a market that was also bubbling at 50 to 1 margin. So for every $200K home loan that the Schmoes knew they couldn't afford, John Schmuck was out there trading $10 million dollars in who knows what.
But I'll tell you this much: Not many people make money in a bear market. Even bears tend to get a little bit bullish when the market's fallen that standard 20% to represent a "true" bear market. Sorry if they got in 20% too early...that's going to sting when not only have we lost the Schmoe's original loan amounts but we've lost an extra few million on top of it. Now remind me how much 20% of $10 million dollars is for each loan a bank sold for $200K? So you're telling me you lost how much?
All the while consumers continue to rack up debt...not seeing the horrible multi car pile up that's coming miles down the highway. Now they've lost 40% in their 401Ks. The half a million dollar house they bought 2 years ago is now worth half of a half of a million dollars. They realized all of the 0% interest credit cards were only for a promotional period and forgot to pay them. Joe's company is getting downsized and Sally's been on unemployment for 2 months already. This is definitely not going to be a happy Christmas!
And they're scared. The giant feed back loop that is the media is doing nothing to assuage the fears - rather massage them. Nothing better than ratings right? Telling us about how bad everything is out there.
But it's not that bad. I'm sitting here in my half million dollar house. Which is warm from the heat I can afford to pay for this house. In front of my TV which has been paid off from my 0% promotional credit card. I put on clean, gently used clothing tonight which was my own which was paid full price for. And I ate a hearty meal of chicken tacos and salad and will be having cake shortly.
This is not the great depression. Personally I'd love to see another depression because we needed some sense slapped in us. Admittedly a lot of us would suffer a great deal (definitely including me) if we went through something like that again. 25%+ unemployment rate. Food banks with lines around the block. Nothing but salted, boiled water to eat again for dinner tonight. And probably breakfast. And someone's got to chop down that last evergreen out front to make kindling for the fire tonight. Living through something like that might change American's consumption habit...or at the least overconsumption.
I am interested to see where this does go though. All the bailouts that are occuring could be the start of something good again for this country - or in a few years we may point back to this time and realize what idiots we were. For the sake of the majority, I pray it's the former.
For now though we have to let time work out it's course. In my opinion we all are to blame (admittedly some more than others) so in our own ways we will all suffer.
The recession hasn't been technically decalred yet. And the layoffs are just starting now.
Is it time to move from the "greatest nation on Earth" to one of the "greatest empires to ever exist on Earth?"
Unfortunately I don't think the word hubris was meant to be applicable only to the ancient Greeks.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
30 Minutes
Of free writing.
Ready, go.
I've been reading blogs for the past 30 minutes. And when I do that, I like to write in my own. Or maybe I had a feeling that I wanted to write something tonight, but instead I sat down and read other blogs instead.
When I read other blogs sometimes I get jealous. I think to myself, "Damn, I sometimes think that too. Why didn't I write that?"
But I don't write it because I feel like it would partially be plagiarism even though I would try to write it in a way that would sound like I was saying it.
I've been told that before. That I write like I speak. Or at the least that people can hear my voice when they read my words. I find that interesting. Maybe it's because I'm saying the words in my head as I am typing them?
Maybe.
I wanted to write for 30 minutes because I didn't want to sleep yet. I have been tossing and turning lately when I go to bed, even though I might be physically exhausted. Ever since I got back to Washington my right eye has been twitching. I wouldn't say I'm under a lot of stress, but maybe it's just a lot of little stresses that are messing with me. I wanted to write "stressers" or "stressors" but neither of them are actually words. Dumb.
For example, our garage is full of our crap right now. Or at least crap we haven't figured out where to put yet. When we left for Charleston I don't remember thinking we had packed that much and yet we had come home with more. Or at least it felt like more. Or at least when I got home I felt just fine with the things I had when we got here, then another 700 pounds of crap showed up one rainy night.
Oh I love the rainy night such a beautiful sight.
Not really.
So with all the crap in the garage we get to fit one car in there, and of course the brand new car goes in the garage so mine gets to sit outside...and I get to scrape off the frost tomorrow and freeze my hamstrings off tomorrow morning. See, little things.
I check the weather in Charleston every day and day dream about walking the dog (sad) down to the river.
Instead I get to walk her up to power lines that run to the substation almost a mile away. And have to cover my hands and ears with clothing because I am afraid they'll fall off. Not really, I'm being dramatic.
I try to rub the stress out of my twitching right eye but it doesn't work. I looked up causes and solutions to it but the internet - as it is probably about a third of the time I use it, was not completely helpful.
I mean, when was the last time any of us said, "I know for a fact that X". Where "X" equals something you know stone cold and hasn't been disproven (which blogger says isn't a word). I can hardly say it. I have to preface things with, "Yeah, I'm pretty sure that X". Why? Because Wiki will probably provide us with the answer. Who needs a brain (or Jeopardy?) when you've got wiki? And yes, I know even wiki can be wrong.
Wow, 9 minutes and I feel like I've gone down the wrong path on this post. I want to make a u-turn but I don't want to go back to what I originally was writing about.
We completely redesigned my "office" this past weekend. Paint. New shelves. Movement of furniture. New track lighting. All assuming that I'll be moving home with my job soon. I got a pretty sweet graphite or dark sand looking paint color in my room. I added this gold fleck to remind me of that dark sand color - sometimes you'd see the sand sparkle in the sun/moonlight when I was at the beach.
I was just thinking before I wrote this post - and as I was reading all the different blogs I follow that there's just too much out there. There's too much information available to us every day. Too many TV channels. Millions of web sites. So we put blinders on, or we try to condense as best as possible. It has almost become a chore for me to keep up on things I "enjoy". I don't think it's supposed to be that way. Jeez - that sounds like one of those questions that people ask you in regards to depression. "Do the things that you would normally enjoy not seem fulfilling any longer? Depression doesn't hurt just you, but it also hurts those around you."
I like to think that this is going to prevent the tossing and turning tonight. I like to think that all of the thoughts that keep me up at night I can throw out on this. I like to think I'll wake up tomorrow feeling refreshed. I like broccoli.
16 minutes. And at least 2 of them wasted looking down at the keyboard and trying to listen to my thoughts.
I am thinking that I wish I had written in the earlier part of this post about how some bloggers have this way of writing about things outside of themselves. How they do such a good job describing things and including very little about their own thoughts. I was thinking about how my blog is not even close to that - although sometimes I try. I was thinking how I didn't want to write this at this portion of this post because reading this now makes it seem like I'm scatterbrained. Which at times I can be.
For the past 4 days I've meant to call my dentist. For the past 8 years I've meant to give them my phone number instead of my parent's phone number. Then again, my parents could always give my dentist my phone number too. But maybe they like that little portion of parenting they have left. Every 6 months they get to call me and remind me that I've got a dentist appointment coming up. I get along with my dentist because 1) He is Asian (albeit Japanese) 2) He went to UW 3) He loves the Seahawks and actually helps track stats at every home game for them.
So like every good man to man relationship, we can always talk sports. Or, at least I can try my best to talk while my mouth is open. I wish I could get a cleaning every other week instead of once every 6 months. Within a couple days I feel like my teeth have reverted back to their old dirty ways (not really, I floss every other day and brush twice daily).
I've turned around a couple times because I see the reflection in the TV that's sitting on the desk in front of me. I think someone is creeping up behind me. But really it's just the movement of my fingers typing.
And then for some reason I was thinking about watermelons talking while I was writing about my dentist. I don't like to eat watermelon and people think I am crazy. I don't like the taste or the texture. It's kind of like a flimsy pear that was injected with water to me but with not that great of flavor. Give me an apple any day please.
But can you imagine walking in to a Top Foods (random store I know) and going in to the produce section and all of the watermelons were just chatting it up. All they had were mouths and when they talked you could see in to what I guess would be their throats. I would be creeped out seeing people throw watermelons in to their carts. I wonder what they would say when they were separated from the others.
Pretty good for 25 minutes so far.
Now on to the home stretch.
I have way too much crap that's got sentimental value. I wish things would be like this blog. Full of interesting stuff (for me to read) and it doesn't take up any of my own space at all. Like I wish I could send in something like my Bear Stearns Squeeze Bear which sits proudly atop my office desk - send it in to some company where they crush whatever you have way down to something that's maybe a millimeter thick and they place it in to a lock box for you. You pay a yearly fee of something like $25 and they just hold your compressed crap like that. Maybe someday you're thinking to yourself that you'd like to bring back some good memories by looking at your sentimental stuff so you go to them, pick out the things you'd like to see and they, I guess, reanimate them for you. Bring them back to actual size.
And when you're done having a jolly reminisince you can tell them to crush it back down to size and keep it for later.
I'm going to spend the next 1 minute reading back through this post.
Yes, I never denied being weird.
Ready, go.
I've been reading blogs for the past 30 minutes. And when I do that, I like to write in my own. Or maybe I had a feeling that I wanted to write something tonight, but instead I sat down and read other blogs instead.
When I read other blogs sometimes I get jealous. I think to myself, "Damn, I sometimes think that too. Why didn't I write that?"
But I don't write it because I feel like it would partially be plagiarism even though I would try to write it in a way that would sound like I was saying it.
I've been told that before. That I write like I speak. Or at the least that people can hear my voice when they read my words. I find that interesting. Maybe it's because I'm saying the words in my head as I am typing them?
Maybe.
I wanted to write for 30 minutes because I didn't want to sleep yet. I have been tossing and turning lately when I go to bed, even though I might be physically exhausted. Ever since I got back to Washington my right eye has been twitching. I wouldn't say I'm under a lot of stress, but maybe it's just a lot of little stresses that are messing with me. I wanted to write "stressers" or "stressors" but neither of them are actually words. Dumb.
For example, our garage is full of our crap right now. Or at least crap we haven't figured out where to put yet. When we left for Charleston I don't remember thinking we had packed that much and yet we had come home with more. Or at least it felt like more. Or at least when I got home I felt just fine with the things I had when we got here, then another 700 pounds of crap showed up one rainy night.
Oh I love the rainy night such a beautiful sight.
Not really.
So with all the crap in the garage we get to fit one car in there, and of course the brand new car goes in the garage so mine gets to sit outside...and I get to scrape off the frost tomorrow and freeze my hamstrings off tomorrow morning. See, little things.
I check the weather in Charleston every day and day dream about walking the dog (sad) down to the river.
Instead I get to walk her up to power lines that run to the substation almost a mile away. And have to cover my hands and ears with clothing because I am afraid they'll fall off. Not really, I'm being dramatic.
I try to rub the stress out of my twitching right eye but it doesn't work. I looked up causes and solutions to it but the internet - as it is probably about a third of the time I use it, was not completely helpful.
I mean, when was the last time any of us said, "I know for a fact that X". Where "X" equals something you know stone cold and hasn't been disproven (which blogger says isn't a word). I can hardly say it. I have to preface things with, "Yeah, I'm pretty sure that X". Why? Because Wiki will probably provide us with the answer. Who needs a brain (or Jeopardy?) when you've got wiki? And yes, I know even wiki can be wrong.
Wow, 9 minutes and I feel like I've gone down the wrong path on this post. I want to make a u-turn but I don't want to go back to what I originally was writing about.
We completely redesigned my "office" this past weekend. Paint. New shelves. Movement of furniture. New track lighting. All assuming that I'll be moving home with my job soon. I got a pretty sweet graphite or dark sand looking paint color in my room. I added this gold fleck to remind me of that dark sand color - sometimes you'd see the sand sparkle in the sun/moonlight when I was at the beach.
I was just thinking before I wrote this post - and as I was reading all the different blogs I follow that there's just too much out there. There's too much information available to us every day. Too many TV channels. Millions of web sites. So we put blinders on, or we try to condense as best as possible. It has almost become a chore for me to keep up on things I "enjoy". I don't think it's supposed to be that way. Jeez - that sounds like one of those questions that people ask you in regards to depression. "Do the things that you would normally enjoy not seem fulfilling any longer? Depression doesn't hurt just you, but it also hurts those around you."
I like to think that this is going to prevent the tossing and turning tonight. I like to think that all of the thoughts that keep me up at night I can throw out on this. I like to think I'll wake up tomorrow feeling refreshed. I like broccoli.
16 minutes. And at least 2 of them wasted looking down at the keyboard and trying to listen to my thoughts.
I am thinking that I wish I had written in the earlier part of this post about how some bloggers have this way of writing about things outside of themselves. How they do such a good job describing things and including very little about their own thoughts. I was thinking about how my blog is not even close to that - although sometimes I try. I was thinking how I didn't want to write this at this portion of this post because reading this now makes it seem like I'm scatterbrained. Which at times I can be.
For the past 4 days I've meant to call my dentist. For the past 8 years I've meant to give them my phone number instead of my parent's phone number. Then again, my parents could always give my dentist my phone number too. But maybe they like that little portion of parenting they have left. Every 6 months they get to call me and remind me that I've got a dentist appointment coming up. I get along with my dentist because 1) He is Asian (albeit Japanese) 2) He went to UW 3) He loves the Seahawks and actually helps track stats at every home game for them.
So like every good man to man relationship, we can always talk sports. Or, at least I can try my best to talk while my mouth is open. I wish I could get a cleaning every other week instead of once every 6 months. Within a couple days I feel like my teeth have reverted back to their old dirty ways (not really, I floss every other day and brush twice daily).
I've turned around a couple times because I see the reflection in the TV that's sitting on the desk in front of me. I think someone is creeping up behind me. But really it's just the movement of my fingers typing.
And then for some reason I was thinking about watermelons talking while I was writing about my dentist. I don't like to eat watermelon and people think I am crazy. I don't like the taste or the texture. It's kind of like a flimsy pear that was injected with water to me but with not that great of flavor. Give me an apple any day please.
But can you imagine walking in to a Top Foods (random store I know) and going in to the produce section and all of the watermelons were just chatting it up. All they had were mouths and when they talked you could see in to what I guess would be their throats. I would be creeped out seeing people throw watermelons in to their carts. I wonder what they would say when they were separated from the others.
Pretty good for 25 minutes so far.
Now on to the home stretch.
I have way too much crap that's got sentimental value. I wish things would be like this blog. Full of interesting stuff (for me to read) and it doesn't take up any of my own space at all. Like I wish I could send in something like my Bear Stearns Squeeze Bear which sits proudly atop my office desk - send it in to some company where they crush whatever you have way down to something that's maybe a millimeter thick and they place it in to a lock box for you. You pay a yearly fee of something like $25 and they just hold your compressed crap like that. Maybe someday you're thinking to yourself that you'd like to bring back some good memories by looking at your sentimental stuff so you go to them, pick out the things you'd like to see and they, I guess, reanimate them for you. Bring them back to actual size.
And when you're done having a jolly reminisince you can tell them to crush it back down to size and keep it for later.
I'm going to spend the next 1 minute reading back through this post.
Yes, I never denied being weird.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Home Sweet...Weird
You know that weird feeling...
When you run in to someone from your past
And they look oddly familiar to you
But you can't place them
And here they come...up to you...shaking your hand, giving you a pat on the shoulder, remembering your name and asking you how someone significant in your life is doing.
Yet you can't figure out their name. You can't figure out where you've spent time with them before. But you know you have.
And yes - how crazy it is that we run in to each other here of all places! Ha ha!
And finally you give in. You don't want to walk away from this conversation not knowing who this person was that was familiar.
Sometimes it completely clicks. You put it together. They've changed their hair! They've lost weight. Or maybe a complete wardrobe makeover.
Or, sometimes you're still at a complete loss. They try to explain it to you further. C'mon! Don't you remember me from summer camp 1997? Remember how we got stuck in that tree that we were climbing and we had to get a counselor to get a ladder? Hilarious right?
Still nothing. You're searching your memory.
That's how the past few hours have felt for me. I walked in to a house that I've spent a great amount of time in in the past. Things looked perfectly familiar, but in the slightest ways either they had changed or my memory never took proper pictures of them. More than likely the latter.
Things that weren't in my memory now confused me.
I don't remember the toilet bowls being so round. And small. I thought they had plastic handles, not metal. And the flushing is pretty weak. Do I remember them being this weak? Maybe. But it seems like so long ago.
The carpet is thinner and not as soft as I remember. When I was playing with the dog I got down on all fours and touched the carpet with my hands for the first time today. It looks the same, but it feels completely different. Is this my house or is this a copy of my house? That's exactly how I felt.
The couch sunk a lot. And I'm not sure if that was our renter sitting in it way too much, or maybe how I had sat on a very hard microfiber couch for the past 6 months. I asked the wife to look in to re-stuffing it when 6 months ago I didn't have one problem with it. In fact I specifically remember thinking how great it was to just throw my fat ass in to it after work.
The sink is shallow. Or maybe is it because the sink in Charleston was so deep. These are the things I can't decide. Did I think the sink was shallow before I left? Because I don't remember it being this shallow.
The pantry slides faster than I remember. When I opened it this afternoon I almost broke one of the folding doors because I slammed it up against the wall. Wasn't it harder to open this when I left? Did our renter grease the tracks? It was the same thing with the fridge. Almost as if the fridge had gone on a diet and lost weight while I was gone. It was scary how easy it was to open one of the fridge doors - and no I have not been lifting more than often.
The paintings and pictures that hang on the wall are crooked to me now. It's almost as if a minor tremor had shaken them from their spots - of what I remember. But did I ever notice if they were off-center before we left? I don't remember thinking that I should adjust anything that we had hanging.
The garbage. Wow, we have to separate out our garbage again. Washington State has curbside recycling pick up. And not only that, but instead of just bringing my trash bag to the garage to dump off I've got to put it in my trash can which has to be rolled to my curb once a week. It's amazing that I had forgotten about this after bringing the trash to the curb since I was a teenager. And if you knew how far away my curb was from my house you would know why this is somewhat shocking to me.
Our stove and microwave suck. The set up we had in Charleston was much better. Bigger. More technologically advanced. I didn't realize how spoiled I was to have a "reheat plate" setting on my microwave. Through 5 days of being back home I have had to either stop the microwave because of exploding food or reheat something because I didn't warm it up for long enough. The wife is already shopping for a new range.
The first time I needed silverware I looked in 3 different drawers before finding them. I could not believe it. I kept saying to myself, "Now, if I were me, where would I logically put the silverware?" I was embarrassed in my own house at the gap that was in my memory.
The house is much colder than I remember. And yet we have the heater on at 68 degrees while we're home. Just like we had it before we left. Is it because it's not 80 degrees outside? Is that why I'm so cold?
It took me about 3 weeks of living in Charleston to get used to our living space and where everything was. And since we just received the shipment from Charleston of all of our household goods I'm assuming it will take me just as long now that I'm home. I've stashed away a lot of things today that I am sure I will need within the next 3 to 6 months. Then I'll sit there and scratch my head and wonder if I lost it in Charleston or if it's buried deep under my pile of crap somewhere in the corner of a closet that hasn't seen any action in the last 3 to 6 months.
But when that time comes, I'll deal. And until then, I will require time to readjust - get reacquainted. It was kind of tough for me to come home to such fanfare and celebration - because I don't feel comfortable here yet. And I don't want it feel like home just yet.
For those reading - I'd recommend looking around at the place you call "home". What are things that you just don't even recognize where you are? The color of the walls, the placement of furniture or art. The characteristics of your appliances. These are things I just kind of expected. Nothing I ever paid any attention to until now. I guess there wasn't enough room in the brain for it all, and I am afraid I've already pushed out some of Charleston to make room for Bothell.
I guess the best way to put it would be that it feels comfortable - but in a sense like a 4 or 5 star hotel. The realization that I might be here for a solid amount of time still hasn't sunk in yet. I'm waiting to get that email that says, "Want to go back to Charleston?"
And I might be waiting for a long time.
When you run in to someone from your past
And they look oddly familiar to you
But you can't place them
And here they come...up to you...shaking your hand, giving you a pat on the shoulder, remembering your name and asking you how someone significant in your life is doing.
Yet you can't figure out their name. You can't figure out where you've spent time with them before. But you know you have.
And yes - how crazy it is that we run in to each other here of all places! Ha ha!
And finally you give in. You don't want to walk away from this conversation not knowing who this person was that was familiar.
Sometimes it completely clicks. You put it together. They've changed their hair! They've lost weight. Or maybe a complete wardrobe makeover.
Or, sometimes you're still at a complete loss. They try to explain it to you further. C'mon! Don't you remember me from summer camp 1997? Remember how we got stuck in that tree that we were climbing and we had to get a counselor to get a ladder? Hilarious right?
Still nothing. You're searching your memory.
That's how the past few hours have felt for me. I walked in to a house that I've spent a great amount of time in in the past. Things looked perfectly familiar, but in the slightest ways either they had changed or my memory never took proper pictures of them. More than likely the latter.
Things that weren't in my memory now confused me.
I don't remember the toilet bowls being so round. And small. I thought they had plastic handles, not metal. And the flushing is pretty weak. Do I remember them being this weak? Maybe. But it seems like so long ago.
The carpet is thinner and not as soft as I remember. When I was playing with the dog I got down on all fours and touched the carpet with my hands for the first time today. It looks the same, but it feels completely different. Is this my house or is this a copy of my house? That's exactly how I felt.
The couch sunk a lot. And I'm not sure if that was our renter sitting in it way too much, or maybe how I had sat on a very hard microfiber couch for the past 6 months. I asked the wife to look in to re-stuffing it when 6 months ago I didn't have one problem with it. In fact I specifically remember thinking how great it was to just throw my fat ass in to it after work.
The sink is shallow. Or maybe is it because the sink in Charleston was so deep. These are the things I can't decide. Did I think the sink was shallow before I left? Because I don't remember it being this shallow.
The pantry slides faster than I remember. When I opened it this afternoon I almost broke one of the folding doors because I slammed it up against the wall. Wasn't it harder to open this when I left? Did our renter grease the tracks? It was the same thing with the fridge. Almost as if the fridge had gone on a diet and lost weight while I was gone. It was scary how easy it was to open one of the fridge doors - and no I have not been lifting more than often.
The paintings and pictures that hang on the wall are crooked to me now. It's almost as if a minor tremor had shaken them from their spots - of what I remember. But did I ever notice if they were off-center before we left? I don't remember thinking that I should adjust anything that we had hanging.
The garbage. Wow, we have to separate out our garbage again. Washington State has curbside recycling pick up. And not only that, but instead of just bringing my trash bag to the garage to dump off I've got to put it in my trash can which has to be rolled to my curb once a week. It's amazing that I had forgotten about this after bringing the trash to the curb since I was a teenager. And if you knew how far away my curb was from my house you would know why this is somewhat shocking to me.
Our stove and microwave suck. The set up we had in Charleston was much better. Bigger. More technologically advanced. I didn't realize how spoiled I was to have a "reheat plate" setting on my microwave. Through 5 days of being back home I have had to either stop the microwave because of exploding food or reheat something because I didn't warm it up for long enough. The wife is already shopping for a new range.
The first time I needed silverware I looked in 3 different drawers before finding them. I could not believe it. I kept saying to myself, "Now, if I were me, where would I logically put the silverware?" I was embarrassed in my own house at the gap that was in my memory.
The house is much colder than I remember. And yet we have the heater on at 68 degrees while we're home. Just like we had it before we left. Is it because it's not 80 degrees outside? Is that why I'm so cold?
It took me about 3 weeks of living in Charleston to get used to our living space and where everything was. And since we just received the shipment from Charleston of all of our household goods I'm assuming it will take me just as long now that I'm home. I've stashed away a lot of things today that I am sure I will need within the next 3 to 6 months. Then I'll sit there and scratch my head and wonder if I lost it in Charleston or if it's buried deep under my pile of crap somewhere in the corner of a closet that hasn't seen any action in the last 3 to 6 months.
But when that time comes, I'll deal. And until then, I will require time to readjust - get reacquainted. It was kind of tough for me to come home to such fanfare and celebration - because I don't feel comfortable here yet. And I don't want it feel like home just yet.
For those reading - I'd recommend looking around at the place you call "home". What are things that you just don't even recognize where you are? The color of the walls, the placement of furniture or art. The characteristics of your appliances. These are things I just kind of expected. Nothing I ever paid any attention to until now. I guess there wasn't enough room in the brain for it all, and I am afraid I've already pushed out some of Charleston to make room for Bothell.
I guess the best way to put it would be that it feels comfortable - but in a sense like a 4 or 5 star hotel. The realization that I might be here for a solid amount of time still hasn't sunk in yet. I'm waiting to get that email that says, "Want to go back to Charleston?"
And I might be waiting for a long time.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
I Remember - Charleston Style
It's crazy to me that 6 months ago, I was on the road driving through a lot of states I had never seen before. And in a couple days I'll be doing the same thing, but this time heading to a place I've been my entire life.
So knowing that, I wanted to write about a few things that stuck out in my mind before I leave. Things that hopefully I will remember forever (regardless of how random they are) but if not I can come back to this blog and read about it again.
I remember:
-The first night we finally got to Charleston. Of course I got to see my very first Southern storm. The rain in the south is not like the rain I was used to in Seattle. Even when the wind whips around in Seattle that rain isn't as hard as it is in Charleston. It was almost like the rain drops were bigger than I was used to. And I remember driving to our hotel that first night, barely being able to see out the windshield and suddenly hearing this loud CLAP and BOOM immediately afterward, seeing as how a bolt of lightning had either just struck the car, or had hit somewhere very close to us. I thought it was a fitting welcoming party.
-Trying to unpack that night. Trying to pull all of the luggage and everything else out of the car in a downpour. Only to check in to a hotel we absolutely hated and moved out of the next morning.
-Losing my ass in the market during the drive out to Charleston. Only to make back everything while trading from a hotel room at the Residence Inn in North Charleston. Sitting there, waiting to move in to our house which still had renters in it. I remember the free beer and free food they had at the Residence Inn. I guess this is something they did at most of the hotels down here. Free breakfast - and not just your standard bagels and muffins, but actually pancakes, waffles, bacon, sausage and eggs. And free happy hour dinner. Free keg of beer, and typically a BBQ dinner.
-Taking the dog on a walk around the hotel and her getting bitten by ants. At that point I realized I had to take the "critters" down here a lot more seriously than I did at home.
-Going to the most empty Costco I had ever seen in my entire life. Granted, it was during working hours, but the parking lot was almost empty. I remember sitting in the car and eating a Costco hot dog (which wasn't as good as back home) and a salad in the sun and feeling that nice breeze.
-Getting my car shipped to the hotel and driving to the house we'd be living in for the next 6 months. Windows rolled down, blasting the music and driving through the gorgeous lowcountry. That turn off of the 526 to Daniel Island surprised me the first time. It was almost a 90 degree turn that I thought I would be run off the road by.
-Going to the Isle of Palms for the first time. And looking around and thinking to myself, "This is what a Carolina beach is supposed to look like. I can't believe we live so close to this." And immediately understimating the power of the sun and getting burned. I remember swimming in that ocean - tiny waves but still a lot of fun. Cheaping out on an umbrella that would constantly fly away on us.
-Sitting by one of the many community pools on the "DI" and reading my book. Wishing I was retired down here.
-Being so scared the day I left for Europe. Which was only 10 days after moving in to our new house. It was storming throughout the morning and the wife was so afraid to be alone in a new place.
-Having my cousin that had lived down here for a few months introduce us to all his favorite places to eat. Jim and Nick's, Sushi Hiro, Home Team BBQ. There were so many great places to eat in Charleston - Tsunami, King Street Grill, Fatz, Huddle/Waffle House (not really), Five Guys, Dog and Duck, Gene's Haufbrau, Virginia's on King, Joseph's, Seabiscuit, Boulevard Diner, Bookstore Cafe, Sweetwater Cafe and Fulton Five only to name the restaurants I can think of.
-The food down here. Collared greens. Shrimp and Grits. Fried Chicken...and waffles. Fried green tomatoes, pickles, and okra.
-Downtown Charleston. All the shops. All the old homes. Battery Street. King Street. East Bay Street. Calhoun. The frustration from the lack of a grid system and too many one way streets in the wrong places. The bar scene downtown off of Market and the way people dressed up down here to go out. Walking across the Arthur J Ravenel bridge. The Farmer's market they held every Saturday morning. The crepes, the mini-doughnuts, the live music, art and fresh farm produce. All the churches and graveyards, the cobblestone drives, the government buildings that had survived generations. The ghost tours - one on boat and one by foot.
-Going to Florida multiple times to visit the wife's Grandma. Realizing each time how much better a city Charleston was than Tampa Bay. But happy to play golf for free. Watching an old projection screen TV each time until we conviced her to go out and buy a new LCD. Being stuck to leather couches in a house that was 82 degrees. Swimming in an outdoor pool that wasn't much better.
-Discovering the surrounding areas and all their small town Southern charm. Hilton Head, Beaufort, Savannah, Columbia, Folly Beach. It's nothing like where I'm from. Each town has it's own character. That's something I'll definitely miss coming from the land of strip malls filled with Quizno's, Target and Starbucks circa 1990s. There are buildings and houses down here that are centuries old. There's something about knowing that generations of people have walked the same path as I have. New buildings definitely have their benefits but after seeing what history has to offer I just think they lack soul sometimes.
There is definitely more memories in this head of mine. When I get them out on paper I'll post them up in October.
So knowing that, I wanted to write about a few things that stuck out in my mind before I leave. Things that hopefully I will remember forever (regardless of how random they are) but if not I can come back to this blog and read about it again.
I remember:
-The first night we finally got to Charleston. Of course I got to see my very first Southern storm. The rain in the south is not like the rain I was used to in Seattle. Even when the wind whips around in Seattle that rain isn't as hard as it is in Charleston. It was almost like the rain drops were bigger than I was used to. And I remember driving to our hotel that first night, barely being able to see out the windshield and suddenly hearing this loud CLAP and BOOM immediately afterward, seeing as how a bolt of lightning had either just struck the car, or had hit somewhere very close to us. I thought it was a fitting welcoming party.
-Trying to unpack that night. Trying to pull all of the luggage and everything else out of the car in a downpour. Only to check in to a hotel we absolutely hated and moved out of the next morning.
-Losing my ass in the market during the drive out to Charleston. Only to make back everything while trading from a hotel room at the Residence Inn in North Charleston. Sitting there, waiting to move in to our house which still had renters in it. I remember the free beer and free food they had at the Residence Inn. I guess this is something they did at most of the hotels down here. Free breakfast - and not just your standard bagels and muffins, but actually pancakes, waffles, bacon, sausage and eggs. And free happy hour dinner. Free keg of beer, and typically a BBQ dinner.
-Taking the dog on a walk around the hotel and her getting bitten by ants. At that point I realized I had to take the "critters" down here a lot more seriously than I did at home.
-Going to the most empty Costco I had ever seen in my entire life. Granted, it was during working hours, but the parking lot was almost empty. I remember sitting in the car and eating a Costco hot dog (which wasn't as good as back home) and a salad in the sun and feeling that nice breeze.
-Getting my car shipped to the hotel and driving to the house we'd be living in for the next 6 months. Windows rolled down, blasting the music and driving through the gorgeous lowcountry. That turn off of the 526 to Daniel Island surprised me the first time. It was almost a 90 degree turn that I thought I would be run off the road by.
-Going to the Isle of Palms for the first time. And looking around and thinking to myself, "This is what a Carolina beach is supposed to look like. I can't believe we live so close to this." And immediately understimating the power of the sun and getting burned. I remember swimming in that ocean - tiny waves but still a lot of fun. Cheaping out on an umbrella that would constantly fly away on us.
-Sitting by one of the many community pools on the "DI" and reading my book. Wishing I was retired down here.
-Being so scared the day I left for Europe. Which was only 10 days after moving in to our new house. It was storming throughout the morning and the wife was so afraid to be alone in a new place.
-Having my cousin that had lived down here for a few months introduce us to all his favorite places to eat. Jim and Nick's, Sushi Hiro, Home Team BBQ. There were so many great places to eat in Charleston - Tsunami, King Street Grill, Fatz, Huddle/Waffle House (not really), Five Guys, Dog and Duck, Gene's Haufbrau, Virginia's on King, Joseph's, Seabiscuit, Boulevard Diner, Bookstore Cafe, Sweetwater Cafe and Fulton Five only to name the restaurants I can think of.
-The food down here. Collared greens. Shrimp and Grits. Fried Chicken...and waffles. Fried green tomatoes, pickles, and okra.
-Downtown Charleston. All the shops. All the old homes. Battery Street. King Street. East Bay Street. Calhoun. The frustration from the lack of a grid system and too many one way streets in the wrong places. The bar scene downtown off of Market and the way people dressed up down here to go out. Walking across the Arthur J Ravenel bridge. The Farmer's market they held every Saturday morning. The crepes, the mini-doughnuts, the live music, art and fresh farm produce. All the churches and graveyards, the cobblestone drives, the government buildings that had survived generations. The ghost tours - one on boat and one by foot.
-Going to Florida multiple times to visit the wife's Grandma. Realizing each time how much better a city Charleston was than Tampa Bay. But happy to play golf for free. Watching an old projection screen TV each time until we conviced her to go out and buy a new LCD. Being stuck to leather couches in a house that was 82 degrees. Swimming in an outdoor pool that wasn't much better.
-Discovering the surrounding areas and all their small town Southern charm. Hilton Head, Beaufort, Savannah, Columbia, Folly Beach. It's nothing like where I'm from. Each town has it's own character. That's something I'll definitely miss coming from the land of strip malls filled with Quizno's, Target and Starbucks circa 1990s. There are buildings and houses down here that are centuries old. There's something about knowing that generations of people have walked the same path as I have. New buildings definitely have their benefits but after seeing what history has to offer I just think they lack soul sometimes.
There is definitely more memories in this head of mine. When I get them out on paper I'll post them up in October.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Recession Preparedness
The market is typically early to the party. My guess about 6 months early.
Which means that recession is headed our way. A true, defined recession of at least 2 quarters of negative GDP. We haven't been involved in a technically defined recession yet, but I feel like it's been slow to come on, and we will definitely be slow to come out of it. In my opinion the economy has been in recession since about February of this year.
Knowing this, it's important that we all be prepared. I by no means am prepared and the questionnaire I'm writing is more for my own enjoyment (partial daydreaming or thinking about how much worse it could be for me). Also, given the current economic landscape I feel a calling towards financial planning for people who have gotten themselves in to trouble. I haven't seriously looked in to a position like that though.
Below is the questionnaire. Score along if you'd like to see how you stack up. You may need a calculator and your bank and credit card statements to help you out.
Question 1:
When I add up all of my necessary monthly bills which I need to pay in order to live (mortgage/rent, utilities, food) they equal which percentage of my monthly income?
A) 20% or less
B) 35%
C) 50%
D) 70% or more
Question 2:
Assuming the possibility of a 10% unemployment rate (or higher) the likelihood of me losing my job is:
A) Highly Likely or already lost my job
B) Likely
C) Unlikely
D) Will not happen or I am my own boss and wouldn't lay myself off
Question 3:
When someone asks me about my health I say:
A) I eat well and exercise regularly. I am almost never sick, have a good family history and am drug and disease free
B) I try my best to eat well, but time constraints make me cut corners and skip workouts
C) I don't watch what I eat and walking up the stairs in my house is enough exercise for me
Question 4:
When I look at the things I pay for on a monthly basis which are not necessary in order for me to live they equal what percentage of my monthly income?
A) 10% or less
B) 20%
C) 30%
D) 40% or more
Question 5:
If I were to pay off all of my credit cards right now - allowing your bank account to possibly go negative - how long would it take to get back to your current financial standing?
A) I feel that I could never get back if I paid off all of my credit cards.
B) It might take me two to three years.
C) One year or less.
D) I don't have any credit card debt to pay off.
Question 6:
My savings habits look like the following:
A) I am barely scraping by making minimum payments on my credit cards and might possibly default on my loans. It is not possible for me to save a dime.
B) I set up this thing called a 401K through my employer. Not sure what that is though.
C) I contribute the amount my company will match to my 401K and have started an IRA for anything extra I can afford to save.
D) I contribute the amount my company will match to my 401K, max out my IRA every year and put the rest in to a cash nest egg to be used for emergencies only.
Question 7:
The amount I have saved (non-retirement):
A) I have enough cash to afford my life for a year or more without any income to supplement it.
B) I have enough cash to afford my life for 6 months without any income to supplement it.
C) If I really cut back my spending lifestyle and sold a few things I might be able to survive 2 or 3 months without any income.
D) You mean you have more than $0 in your bank account?
Final Question, Question 8:
How concerned are you with the current economy and the economy over the next 2 to 3 years?
A) Don't know, don't care. Ignorance is bliss.
B) I read the news every now and then, hasn't affected me personally and therefore I have not changed my lifestyle.
C) I have educated myself on what is happening in the economy and have taken the necessary steps to insure I avoid any future financial stress.
D) What the media has been saying has made me very nervous. I have taken all of my money out of the bank and stashed it under the mattress. Here comes the next great depression!
Scoring Key:
Q1: A.4 B.3 C.2 D.1
Q2: A.1 B.2 C.3 D.4
Q3: A.4 B.3 C.1
Q4: A.4 B.3 C.2 D.1
Q5: A.1 B.2 C.3 D.4
Q6: A.1 B.2 C.3 D.4
Q7: A.4 B.3 C.2 D.1
Q8: A.1 B.2 C.4 D.1
Scoring Guide:
8-16: You are in a deep world of hurt and may know this, or may have just ignored it for too long. Take a serious look at your current financial standing and take action. Make a plan to take control over your own financial well being or consult a professional who can help guide you through the economic turmoil.
17-25: You are doing better than those that are really hurting out there. You are financially stable but if you or your partner were to lose your job for a few months it would really hurt. You are trying your best to save but it always seems like a struggle just to have enough in order to enjoy the money you work for every now and then.
26-32: You are recession proof. A financial all-star. Kudos. Somewhere along the way either you figured it out or someone who has lived through hard times before pointed you in the right direction. You have very little to worry about financially, and even if there is an issue that arises you've got enough padding for a very soft landing.
Author's note: Personally I scored a 22. Which puts me in the middle to upper range in the 2nd category. I am alright with being there - but obviously it can be better and I will continue to push to get to "recession proof" status. Good luck to all of us over the next few years as we navigate these rough economic waters. And by luck I mean when excellent recession preparedness meets the possible coming recession.
Which means that recession is headed our way. A true, defined recession of at least 2 quarters of negative GDP. We haven't been involved in a technically defined recession yet, but I feel like it's been slow to come on, and we will definitely be slow to come out of it. In my opinion the economy has been in recession since about February of this year.
Knowing this, it's important that we all be prepared. I by no means am prepared and the questionnaire I'm writing is more for my own enjoyment (partial daydreaming or thinking about how much worse it could be for me). Also, given the current economic landscape I feel a calling towards financial planning for people who have gotten themselves in to trouble. I haven't seriously looked in to a position like that though.
Below is the questionnaire. Score along if you'd like to see how you stack up. You may need a calculator and your bank and credit card statements to help you out.
Question 1:
When I add up all of my necessary monthly bills which I need to pay in order to live (mortgage/rent, utilities, food) they equal which percentage of my monthly income?
A) 20% or less
B) 35%
C) 50%
D) 70% or more
Question 2:
Assuming the possibility of a 10% unemployment rate (or higher) the likelihood of me losing my job is:
A) Highly Likely or already lost my job
B) Likely
C) Unlikely
D) Will not happen or I am my own boss and wouldn't lay myself off
Question 3:
When someone asks me about my health I say:
A) I eat well and exercise regularly. I am almost never sick, have a good family history and am drug and disease free
B) I try my best to eat well, but time constraints make me cut corners and skip workouts
C) I don't watch what I eat and walking up the stairs in my house is enough exercise for me
Question 4:
When I look at the things I pay for on a monthly basis which are not necessary in order for me to live they equal what percentage of my monthly income?
A) 10% or less
B) 20%
C) 30%
D) 40% or more
Question 5:
If I were to pay off all of my credit cards right now - allowing your bank account to possibly go negative - how long would it take to get back to your current financial standing?
A) I feel that I could never get back if I paid off all of my credit cards.
B) It might take me two to three years.
C) One year or less.
D) I don't have any credit card debt to pay off.
Question 6:
My savings habits look like the following:
A) I am barely scraping by making minimum payments on my credit cards and might possibly default on my loans. It is not possible for me to save a dime.
B) I set up this thing called a 401K through my employer. Not sure what that is though.
C) I contribute the amount my company will match to my 401K and have started an IRA for anything extra I can afford to save.
D) I contribute the amount my company will match to my 401K, max out my IRA every year and put the rest in to a cash nest egg to be used for emergencies only.
Question 7:
The amount I have saved (non-retirement):
A) I have enough cash to afford my life for a year or more without any income to supplement it.
B) I have enough cash to afford my life for 6 months without any income to supplement it.
C) If I really cut back my spending lifestyle and sold a few things I might be able to survive 2 or 3 months without any income.
D) You mean you have more than $0 in your bank account?
Final Question, Question 8:
How concerned are you with the current economy and the economy over the next 2 to 3 years?
A) Don't know, don't care. Ignorance is bliss.
B) I read the news every now and then, hasn't affected me personally and therefore I have not changed my lifestyle.
C) I have educated myself on what is happening in the economy and have taken the necessary steps to insure I avoid any future financial stress.
D) What the media has been saying has made me very nervous. I have taken all of my money out of the bank and stashed it under the mattress. Here comes the next great depression!
Scoring Key:
Q1: A.4 B.3 C.2 D.1
Q2: A.1 B.2 C.3 D.4
Q3: A.4 B.3 C.1
Q4: A.4 B.3 C.2 D.1
Q5: A.1 B.2 C.3 D.4
Q6: A.1 B.2 C.3 D.4
Q7: A.4 B.3 C.2 D.1
Q8: A.1 B.2 C.4 D.1
Scoring Guide:
8-16: You are in a deep world of hurt and may know this, or may have just ignored it for too long. Take a serious look at your current financial standing and take action. Make a plan to take control over your own financial well being or consult a professional who can help guide you through the economic turmoil.
17-25: You are doing better than those that are really hurting out there. You are financially stable but if you or your partner were to lose your job for a few months it would really hurt. You are trying your best to save but it always seems like a struggle just to have enough in order to enjoy the money you work for every now and then.
26-32: You are recession proof. A financial all-star. Kudos. Somewhere along the way either you figured it out or someone who has lived through hard times before pointed you in the right direction. You have very little to worry about financially, and even if there is an issue that arises you've got enough padding for a very soft landing.
Author's note: Personally I scored a 22. Which puts me in the middle to upper range in the 2nd category. I am alright with being there - but obviously it can be better and I will continue to push to get to "recession proof" status. Good luck to all of us over the next few years as we navigate these rough economic waters. And by luck I mean when excellent recession preparedness meets the possible coming recession.
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
30 days
I can't believe it.
Really I've been counting down since 45 days, but who does that?
I do.
But, it would seem kind of weird to post 45 days out (although I did want to).
We had some friends visit us from Seattle - they actually had come to visit us about a week before we left for Charleston too.
And it's so weird to think, that just 5 months ago I was sitting in my living room thinking about what Charleston would be like. What it would be like to drive across the country and pack up most of our stuff and have it shipped 3,000 miles. What the weather would be like and whether or not I'd feel comfortable out here.
And now, with 30 days left, I don't want to leave. And sadly, everyday I feel like I do this place a little injustice by doing the same things I've done the past 5 months. Work Monday through Friday, 9:30 am to 6 pm. Take the dog out on long walks in the morning and the afternoon. Enjoy great food at restaurants we've never eaten at - and possibly may never eat at again. It's like graduating all over again. You do everything in your power to hold on to that last little bit of time - you write out your memories hoping to relive them through your words and take pictures to remind yourself what it looked like - but the whole time you're trying to hold on, to create more memories, it just goes that much faster. I honestly think I might cry when I leave this place - having to return home after seeing what a beautiful part of this country has to offer.
I've already talked to the wife about coming out here maybe 5 or 10 years from now for vacation. To see what's changed. What's different. Or what's still the same. But just like 6 months ago how I couldn't imagine what October would look like - here I sit not being able to imagine what 5 years from now will look like.
So, I'm a little depressed. But it's that sad type of smile that's on my face - to know that I was lucky to have the financial freedom to take a trip like this. And looking back on the last 5 months - everything was better than I ever expected it to be. Once again the beauty of being a pessimist (but leaning towards more of a realist).
Here I am. Continuing to count down. Times like these I wonder why I had ever wanted time to move faster. I could hear nothing better right now than we were staying for maybe another 2-3 months. But I know I'd just be fooling myself. Like the high school senior couple that's breaking up because one of them is going to college out of state. That one extra kiss will just make it that much more painful to go.
29 days starting tomorrow.
And then it's on the road again and back to a familiar gray.
This month is definitely going to be hard on me.
Really I've been counting down since 45 days, but who does that?
I do.
But, it would seem kind of weird to post 45 days out (although I did want to).
We had some friends visit us from Seattle - they actually had come to visit us about a week before we left for Charleston too.
And it's so weird to think, that just 5 months ago I was sitting in my living room thinking about what Charleston would be like. What it would be like to drive across the country and pack up most of our stuff and have it shipped 3,000 miles. What the weather would be like and whether or not I'd feel comfortable out here.
And now, with 30 days left, I don't want to leave. And sadly, everyday I feel like I do this place a little injustice by doing the same things I've done the past 5 months. Work Monday through Friday, 9:30 am to 6 pm. Take the dog out on long walks in the morning and the afternoon. Enjoy great food at restaurants we've never eaten at - and possibly may never eat at again. It's like graduating all over again. You do everything in your power to hold on to that last little bit of time - you write out your memories hoping to relive them through your words and take pictures to remind yourself what it looked like - but the whole time you're trying to hold on, to create more memories, it just goes that much faster. I honestly think I might cry when I leave this place - having to return home after seeing what a beautiful part of this country has to offer.
I've already talked to the wife about coming out here maybe 5 or 10 years from now for vacation. To see what's changed. What's different. Or what's still the same. But just like 6 months ago how I couldn't imagine what October would look like - here I sit not being able to imagine what 5 years from now will look like.
So, I'm a little depressed. But it's that sad type of smile that's on my face - to know that I was lucky to have the financial freedom to take a trip like this. And looking back on the last 5 months - everything was better than I ever expected it to be. Once again the beauty of being a pessimist (but leaning towards more of a realist).
Here I am. Continuing to count down. Times like these I wonder why I had ever wanted time to move faster. I could hear nothing better right now than we were staying for maybe another 2-3 months. But I know I'd just be fooling myself. Like the high school senior couple that's breaking up because one of them is going to college out of state. That one extra kiss will just make it that much more painful to go.
29 days starting tomorrow.
And then it's on the road again and back to a familiar gray.
This month is definitely going to be hard on me.
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