My feet are cold. This word document looks cold. It’s white and black. Little blue links on the side. There are lots of things that make me happy. But right now the thing that would make me happiest would be to be night snowboarding.
The rats inside the walls of my parent’s house scurry from left to right. It is gross. Sometimes I hear them fight and squeak and fall in to heating ducts, scrapping and scratching against dry wall and metal. They have a way of getting in here from the outside I think, but they’re asleep now. Unlike the rats I am not asleep. They sound like huge badgers too, I forgot to cook rice for tomorrow *smacks forehead* maybe they’ll eat my rice. Just checked the rice, it’s still there. No signs of eating. Enough for lunch tomorrow.
I’m not wearing a coat or any waterproof gear, but if I was snowboarding, I would be.
I’m not outside enjoying the fresh mountain air, but if I was snowboarding I would be.
I’m not doing anything athletic, but if I was snowboarding I would be.
I’m not complaining about moguls, oh wait…nope, I’m not. “” (repeat)
There are plenty of places to snowboard, but I’m not there.
There’s not snow in many places, it’s too early in the season.
Some places, like
The first time I ever half snowboarded was on a thin sheet of ice about a block away from my parents house. In 7th grade Willy Hindeman (where is he now?) lent me his board and it was like standing on a narrow sled because my feet were too big for his boots he wasn’t willing (thanks willy) to take off anyway, so I was trying my best to keep them in the bindings. That taste was enough for me, and skiing looked like too much work.
There are REALLY COOL people that bomb down the mountain out of control and maybe hit people that fall and then everyone gets hurt.
Once I went off this jump and almost drowned in snow because my head landed in a huge snow pile after I did a half flip and then didn’t know which way was up.
When I rub my head with my hands it looks like little snowflakes falling, like they do in the mountains sometime when I’m snowboarding.
I once got high at Whistler in one of those bubble gondola type things. I don’t recommend getting high and snowboarding. Amazing that’s such part of the culture.
Some people get high, bomb down the mountain and listen to their Ipod at the same time. These people are basically my Gods.
I used to fall off the lift at the top all the time. Since everyone else doesn’t fall there it is a hard pack of ice. Falling when you get off the lift hurts.
Most people go to sleep without telling you. I go snowboarding without telling most people I know.
My mom makes good soup and biscuits for us when we get home from snowboarding. I like listening to depressing emo music after snowboarding too.
My last two instant messages to people read as follow: Hey call me when you get a chance. Did you see the penis? These people are obviously not snowboarding.
I would never be a professional snowboarder. Those guys think doing amazing tricks and getting “major air” is awesome. Getting paid to do that is not my style. Maybe in the near future people will say, “Man! You should go pro!” and just them saying that alone will be enough payment for me.
I have a 3 inch long cut on my head. It would’ve been cooler to say I got this snowboarding.
I just told another person that she likes penis after she saw the drawing that someone made on her wall on facebook of a guy holding his wang job. She obviously isn’t snowboarding right now.
The first time I did a toe-turn I was going way too fast, but I hung on and was screaming at no one afterwards. I will remember that feeling forever.
I taught my sister to snowboard. She is amazing. I guess you could say she taught herself, but I wish I could take some credit.
Here’s how most of my advice went my first time at Whistler: “If you feel like you’re falling, dig in and lean back”. For two years I dug in and leaned back. My thighs hurt just thinking about it. To this day I can't help but revert to my old ways. Almost everyone that I know that snowboards has graduated to the "intermediate plus" runs and I hate when the mountain is so steep that I'm basically falling right down it. I apologize to everyone for not keeping up. I don't like to bite it super hard.
A girl who likes to snowboard is hot. Hopefully not so much that it melts the snow. The problem with women and snowboarding is mainly the clothing. Almost everyone looks the same with snow gear on. And you don't want to be one of those annoying girls that wears all pink do you? If I was a woman I wouldn't want to be. Big snow pants, a big jacket and a beanie can make a lot of women look like 15 year old boys. Or maybe I'm just crazy. So crazy that I seen teenage boys when I go snowboarding. But there seems to be a higher population of those types up on the mountain. I sit there and quietly wonder to myself while waiting in line at the lift - "Boys - how did you get up here? Are your parents off skiing somewhere? Shouldn't you be in the park going off jumps with that crazy helmet of yours? How did you get the money to do this? Even I can hardly afford it." That's about all I think of them. When I might actually be accidentally thinking that about a woman I was looking at but couldn't tell.
I saw this thing on FSN where guys sand board and board down volcanoes. The second one you can die from. I understand you can die from basically anything but putting yourself in to a higher probability of death rarely makes sense. Not only did they show guys boarding down volcanoes, they also showed a bunch of guys boarding down sand dunes. That I probably wouldn't want to do either. Mainly because sand is really hard to get out of your hair. And your ears. For those that have spent some quality time at a beach resort - and hopefully played beach volleyball or tackle football know that sand basically gets everywhere. And it doesn't go away for a few days. You know what the worst is though? Is when you're chewing on something, and then all of a sudden...*grrriiittt* you bite in to sand. Now maybe you're eating a clam that you just dug up. That's expected. But maybe you were out flying a kite at the beach and your first bite in to your filet mignon that night opens up like sand paper. Terrible.
Someone should just make a machine where right after you come back from the beach, you step in to this cube and it sucks all of the sand off of you. There's gotta be a machine like that.You know how on TV and YouTube or whatev - they've got those bulldogs or dogs that skateboard? Show me a dog that snowboards. That would be awesome. I don't think my dog could do it. We'd have to basically get her an enlarged popsicle stick for it to work. And even then she'd probably be way too cold to figure out what the F she was doing out there. Hah! It makes me laugh imagining her wearing a giant snow coat. Made especially for her of course.
If I had the opportunity to live in a cabin for about 2 months, like walking distance from a lift? Maybe in Tahoe? I would do that. In fact, I think that'll be one of my goals in life. Would be to just hang out in a cabin all winter. Maybe by the time I have enough money to do that they'll come up with some new fangled way to snowboard. Maybe instead of having to heel and toe all the way down the hill they could come up with some sort of motorized way to do it for us lazy types that just enjoy the feeling of speeding down a hill. Maybe. The future is wild though.
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