A Historical Election

So I think a bit of the dust has settled now.

And so many other bloggers have mentioned something about it, so without much else to write about (or nothing else that I thought would be interesting to read) tonight I've decided to put it on here.

Good job Barack.

You beat a pretty feeble opponent in McCain.

With Oprah's backing alone you basically won the presidency. She does after all have about 30 million faithful followers. I'm not saying that every single one of them voted for you because of her - but I'm just going to say that it definitely helped more than it hurt (the millions that she gave you aren't anything to scoff at either).

It's really tough living in the Northwest. Everyone is so damned emotional about their politics. And God forbid that anyone think differently - or out here - conservatively.

I don't connect well with most people when it comes to politics. This is one of those things that I am not black and white on. People think that you either have to be a democrat or a republican. And then when you belong to a specific group you have to share the same basic values; vote along party lines.

Well, here are mine:

I relate most to the fiscal conservatives. I believe in as low as taxes as possible and as little government as possible. But, I am liberal when it comes to basically everything else. I believe in the legalization of gay marriage, marijuana, right for women to make the decisions for their bodies - in fact, right for anyone to do anything to their own bodies. My saying was always, "As long as you are not harming others" you can basically do anything you please.

So where do I fit? Nowhere really.

Which is why I don't vote - and I've mentioned this before. 4 years from now I've decided to vote though. There are too many local initiatives that will affect my life that I'd like to have a say on.

But the president? There's no way my 1 vote out here in the bluest state of them all would even count.

I hated hearing the "don't forget to vote". Seeing all the emails. The commercials. The signs on the side of the road. What waste. Obama was a lock. And for people not to see that is kind of crazy. Yes. I even bet money on him. That's how sure of it I was. Sure, I had made a previous bet when I didn't even know the name "Barack", but that was back then.

And here we are now. Less than 2 months away from a new presidency.

There are a few things I'd like to say about the upcoming presidency.

-I am a big believer in timing. In my opinion, any charismatic, well educated and spoken person with the proper people behind them could take this country out of the shit hole we've got ourselves in. And seriously? It is not that bad (I've mentioned this before). When people talk about who the best president of this country ever was - they mention FDR. He did after all bring us out of the great depression. But you know what? Could he have just been the right guy at the right time? Imagine if FDR was born 30 or 40 years later. Would he be the best president in American's minds then? Sure, it's a bit of a weak argument because anyone could argue timing - but Barack is taking over at a great time. And it's only because it can't really get that much worse. Sure it can, but a lot of the pain from the initial shock has already hit - and any more pain will be met with a bit of numbness or maybe a callous.

-Which is exactly why what Barack might be doing is a bit dangerous. If people Hope for Change what are they actually hoping for? I was laughing to myself on election night because they showed Harlem on TV. People cheering, people crying. Guess what? All of those people had to go back to Harlem that night. The unemployed, the homeless, the hungry, they all returned to where they came from the same way. Nothing had changed for them. Will anything change for you and I? People get the economy and politics mixed up all the time. But our economy goes boom and bust every decade. And yet, every decade we continue to attribute a good economy to the current presidency, and on the flip side blame the presidency when things aren't going our way. Everyone pointed to the republicans this election, but did everyone forget that we've had a great ecomony (albeit inflated by home prices) from '02 to '07? People quickly forget things (in a year) when things start turning south. I'm sure 5-7 years from now I'll be writing about how everyone has already forgotten about how "bad" it was in '08 and '09. So, wake up, as usual your life is what you make it. You have no one to blame but yourself and blaming those (or thanking those) in office is just downright silly.

Hope is an interesting thing. It's something that this country has stood upon for decades.

Personally, I hope that at the end of this that we have more than just hope. The weight of so many livelihoods rests on the shoulder of a new presidency. A new party.

So somethings will change.

I hope that the greatest empire ever to have lived on this Earth is either still in growth phase or at least treading water. I do not want to be part of the demise...

Reap What WE Sow - Part 2

You can read Part 1 here.

So now everything's come down.

Those that had too much greed were placed in positions of too much power.

And just like before, when things became too good to be true, the invisble hand came through and bitch slapped a lot of people.

Unfortunately a lot of us small people (as I like to refer to someone like me) got hurt in the process.

So remember those people that couldn't afford those houses that I mentioned in Part 1?

Well, someone smart had an idea that they could package up those loans and sell them to someone else, who offered them to willing investors who were offered amazing returns with very little risk.

Because Joe Schmoe was surely going to pay for his mortgage when his 5/1 ARM ballooned up from 5% to 18% right? I mean there is no way in hell Sally Schmoe (of no relation to Joe) was going to lose money on her home investment! Look at how much housing prices had risen in the past year! Of course she could be $0 down on a neg am loan. I mean what does "neg am" really mean anyway? That she could get that monthly payment down to a manageable amount and own the house of her dreams. Finally she was living the American dream.

And we all know how that's going to end. Or do we?

So we got caught up in the housing bubble.

And now no one can pay their mortgages.

And they packaged those mortgages in to investments.

Which they then sold on the street.

Which they then used to invest in a market that was also bubbling at 50 to 1 margin. So for every $200K home loan that the Schmoes knew they couldn't afford, John Schmuck was out there trading $10 million dollars in who knows what.

But I'll tell you this much: Not many people make money in a bear market. Even bears tend to get a little bit bullish when the market's fallen that standard 20% to represent a "true" bear market. Sorry if they got in 20% too early...that's going to sting when not only have we lost the Schmoe's original loan amounts but we've lost an extra few million on top of it. Now remind me how much 20% of $10 million dollars is for each loan a bank sold for $200K? So you're telling me you lost how much?

All the while consumers continue to rack up debt...not seeing the horrible multi car pile up that's coming miles down the highway. Now they've lost 40% in their 401Ks. The half a million dollar house they bought 2 years ago is now worth half of a half of a million dollars. They realized all of the 0% interest credit cards were only for a promotional period and forgot to pay them. Joe's company is getting downsized and Sally's been on unemployment for 2 months already. This is definitely not going to be a happy Christmas!

And they're scared. The giant feed back loop that is the media is doing nothing to assuage the fears - rather massage them. Nothing better than ratings right? Telling us about how bad everything is out there.

But it's not that bad. I'm sitting here in my half million dollar house. Which is warm from the heat I can afford to pay for this house. In front of my TV which has been paid off from my 0% promotional credit card. I put on clean, gently used clothing tonight which was my own which was paid full price for. And I ate a hearty meal of chicken tacos and salad and will be having cake shortly.

This is not the great depression. Personally I'd love to see another depression because we needed some sense slapped in us. Admittedly a lot of us would suffer a great deal (definitely including me) if we went through something like that again. 25%+ unemployment rate. Food banks with lines around the block. Nothing but salted, boiled water to eat again for dinner tonight. And probably breakfast. And someone's got to chop down that last evergreen out front to make kindling for the fire tonight. Living through something like that might change American's consumption habit...or at the least overconsumption.

I am interested to see where this does go though. All the bailouts that are occuring could be the start of something good again for this country - or in a few years we may point back to this time and realize what idiots we were. For the sake of the majority, I pray it's the former.

For now though we have to let time work out it's course. In my opinion we all are to blame (admittedly some more than others) so in our own ways we will all suffer.

The recession hasn't been technically decalred yet. And the layoffs are just starting now.

Is it time to move from the "greatest nation on Earth" to one of the "greatest empires to ever exist on Earth?"

Unfortunately I don't think the word hubris was meant to be applicable only to the ancient Greeks.

30 Minutes

Of free writing.

Ready, go.

I've been reading blogs for the past 30 minutes. And when I do that, I like to write in my own. Or maybe I had a feeling that I wanted to write something tonight, but instead I sat down and read other blogs instead.

When I read other blogs sometimes I get jealous. I think to myself, "Damn, I sometimes think that too. Why didn't I write that?"

But I don't write it because I feel like it would partially be plagiarism even though I would try to write it in a way that would sound like I was saying it.

I've been told that before. That I write like I speak. Or at the least that people can hear my voice when they read my words. I find that interesting. Maybe it's because I'm saying the words in my head as I am typing them?

Maybe.

I wanted to write for 30 minutes because I didn't want to sleep yet. I have been tossing and turning lately when I go to bed, even though I might be physically exhausted. Ever since I got back to Washington my right eye has been twitching. I wouldn't say I'm under a lot of stress, but maybe it's just a lot of little stresses that are messing with me. I wanted to write "stressers" or "stressors" but neither of them are actually words. Dumb.

For example, our garage is full of our crap right now. Or at least crap we haven't figured out where to put yet. When we left for Charleston I don't remember thinking we had packed that much and yet we had come home with more. Or at least it felt like more. Or at least when I got home I felt just fine with the things I had when we got here, then another 700 pounds of crap showed up one rainy night.

Oh I love the rainy night such a beautiful sight.

Not really.

So with all the crap in the garage we get to fit one car in there, and of course the brand new car goes in the garage so mine gets to sit outside...and I get to scrape off the frost tomorrow and freeze my hamstrings off tomorrow morning. See, little things.

I check the weather in Charleston every day and day dream about walking the dog (sad) down to the river.

Instead I get to walk her up to power lines that run to the substation almost a mile away. And have to cover my hands and ears with clothing because I am afraid they'll fall off. Not really, I'm being dramatic.

I try to rub the stress out of my twitching right eye but it doesn't work. I looked up causes and solutions to it but the internet - as it is probably about a third of the time I use it, was not completely helpful.

I mean, when was the last time any of us said, "I know for a fact that X". Where "X" equals something you know stone cold and hasn't been disproven (which blogger says isn't a word). I can hardly say it. I have to preface things with, "Yeah, I'm pretty sure that X". Why? Because Wiki will probably provide us with the answer. Who needs a brain (or Jeopardy?) when you've got wiki? And yes, I know even wiki can be wrong.

Wow, 9 minutes and I feel like I've gone down the wrong path on this post. I want to make a u-turn but I don't want to go back to what I originally was writing about.

We completely redesigned my "office" this past weekend. Paint. New shelves. Movement of furniture. New track lighting. All assuming that I'll be moving home with my job soon. I got a pretty sweet graphite or dark sand looking paint color in my room. I added this gold fleck to remind me of that dark sand color - sometimes you'd see the sand sparkle in the sun/moonlight when I was at the beach.

I was just thinking before I wrote this post - and as I was reading all the different blogs I follow that there's just too much out there. There's too much information available to us every day. Too many TV channels. Millions of web sites. So we put blinders on, or we try to condense as best as possible. It has almost become a chore for me to keep up on things I "enjoy". I don't think it's supposed to be that way. Jeez - that sounds like one of those questions that people ask you in regards to depression. "Do the things that you would normally enjoy not seem fulfilling any longer? Depression doesn't hurt just you, but it also hurts those around you."

I like to think that this is going to prevent the tossing and turning tonight. I like to think that all of the thoughts that keep me up at night I can throw out on this. I like to think I'll wake up tomorrow feeling refreshed. I like broccoli.

16 minutes. And at least 2 of them wasted looking down at the keyboard and trying to listen to my thoughts.

I am thinking that I wish I had written in the earlier part of this post about how some bloggers have this way of writing about things outside of themselves. How they do such a good job describing things and including very little about their own thoughts. I was thinking about how my blog is not even close to that - although sometimes I try. I was thinking how I didn't want to write this at this portion of this post because reading this now makes it seem like I'm scatterbrained. Which at times I can be.

For the past 4 days I've meant to call my dentist. For the past 8 years I've meant to give them my phone number instead of my parent's phone number. Then again, my parents could always give my dentist my phone number too. But maybe they like that little portion of parenting they have left. Every 6 months they get to call me and remind me that I've got a dentist appointment coming up. I get along with my dentist because 1) He is Asian (albeit Japanese) 2) He went to UW 3) He loves the Seahawks and actually helps track stats at every home game for them.

So like every good man to man relationship, we can always talk sports. Or, at least I can try my best to talk while my mouth is open. I wish I could get a cleaning every other week instead of once every 6 months. Within a couple days I feel like my teeth have reverted back to their old dirty ways (not really, I floss every other day and brush twice daily).

I've turned around a couple times because I see the reflection in the TV that's sitting on the desk in front of me. I think someone is creeping up behind me. But really it's just the movement of my fingers typing.

And then for some reason I was thinking about watermelons talking while I was writing about my dentist. I don't like to eat watermelon and people think I am crazy. I don't like the taste or the texture. It's kind of like a flimsy pear that was injected with water to me but with not that great of flavor. Give me an apple any day please.

But can you imagine walking in to a Top Foods (random store I know) and going in to the produce section and all of the watermelons were just chatting it up. All they had were mouths and when they talked you could see in to what I guess would be their throats. I would be creeped out seeing people throw watermelons in to their carts. I wonder what they would say when they were separated from the others.

Pretty good for 25 minutes so far.

Now on to the home stretch.

I have way too much crap that's got sentimental value. I wish things would be like this blog. Full of interesting stuff (for me to read) and it doesn't take up any of my own space at all. Like I wish I could send in something like my Bear Stearns Squeeze Bear which sits proudly atop my office desk - send it in to some company where they crush whatever you have way down to something that's maybe a millimeter thick and they place it in to a lock box for you. You pay a yearly fee of something like $25 and they just hold your compressed crap like that. Maybe someday you're thinking to yourself that you'd like to bring back some good memories by looking at your sentimental stuff so you go to them, pick out the things you'd like to see and they, I guess, reanimate them for you. Bring them back to actual size.

And when you're done having a jolly reminisince you can tell them to crush it back down to size and keep it for later.

I'm going to spend the next 1 minute reading back through this post.

Yes, I never denied being weird.

Home Sweet...Weird

You know that weird feeling...

When you run in to someone from your past

And they look oddly familiar to you

But you can't place them

And here they come...up to you...shaking your hand, giving you a pat on the shoulder, remembering your name and asking you how someone significant in your life is doing.

Yet you can't figure out their name. You can't figure out where you've spent time with them before. But you know you have.

And yes - how crazy it is that we run in to each other here of all places! Ha ha!

And finally you give in. You don't want to walk away from this conversation not knowing who this person was that was familiar.

Sometimes it completely clicks. You put it together. They've changed their hair! They've lost weight. Or maybe a complete wardrobe makeover.

Or, sometimes you're still at a complete loss. They try to explain it to you further. C'mon! Don't you remember me from summer camp 1997? Remember how we got stuck in that tree that we were climbing and we had to get a counselor to get a ladder? Hilarious right?

Still nothing. You're searching your memory.

That's how the past few hours have felt for me. I walked in to a house that I've spent a great amount of time in in the past. Things looked perfectly familiar, but in the slightest ways either they had changed or my memory never took proper pictures of them. More than likely the latter.

Things that weren't in my memory now confused me.

I don't remember the toilet bowls being so round. And small. I thought they had plastic handles, not metal. And the flushing is pretty weak. Do I remember them being this weak? Maybe. But it seems like so long ago.

The carpet is thinner and not as soft as I remember. When I was playing with the dog I got down on all fours and touched the carpet with my hands for the first time today. It looks the same, but it feels completely different. Is this my house or is this a copy of my house? That's exactly how I felt.

The couch sunk a lot. And I'm not sure if that was our renter sitting in it way too much, or maybe how I had sat on a very hard microfiber couch for the past 6 months. I asked the wife to look in to re-stuffing it when 6 months ago I didn't have one problem with it. In fact I specifically remember thinking how great it was to just throw my fat ass in to it after work.

The sink is shallow. Or maybe is it because the sink in Charleston was so deep. These are the things I can't decide. Did I think the sink was shallow before I left? Because I don't remember it being this shallow.

The pantry slides faster than I remember. When I opened it this afternoon I almost broke one of the folding doors because I slammed it up against the wall. Wasn't it harder to open this when I left? Did our renter grease the tracks? It was the same thing with the fridge. Almost as if the fridge had gone on a diet and lost weight while I was gone. It was scary how easy it was to open one of the fridge doors - and no I have not been lifting more than often.

The paintings and pictures that hang on the wall are crooked to me now. It's almost as if a minor tremor had shaken them from their spots - of what I remember. But did I ever notice if they were off-center before we left? I don't remember thinking that I should adjust anything that we had hanging.

The garbage. Wow, we have to separate out our garbage again. Washington State has curbside recycling pick up. And not only that, but instead of just bringing my trash bag to the garage to dump off I've got to put it in my trash can which has to be rolled to my curb once a week. It's amazing that I had forgotten about this after bringing the trash to the curb since I was a teenager. And if you knew how far away my curb was from my house you would know why this is somewhat shocking to me.

Our stove and microwave suck. The set up we had in Charleston was much better. Bigger. More technologically advanced. I didn't realize how spoiled I was to have a "reheat plate" setting on my microwave. Through 5 days of being back home I have had to either stop the microwave because of exploding food or reheat something because I didn't warm it up for long enough. The wife is already shopping for a new range.

The first time I needed silverware I looked in 3 different drawers before finding them. I could not believe it. I kept saying to myself, "Now, if I were me, where would I logically put the silverware?" I was embarrassed in my own house at the gap that was in my memory.

The house is much colder than I remember. And yet we have the heater on at 68 degrees while we're home. Just like we had it before we left. Is it because it's not 80 degrees outside? Is that why I'm so cold?

It took me about 3 weeks of living in Charleston to get used to our living space and where everything was. And since we just received the shipment from Charleston of all of our household goods I'm assuming it will take me just as long now that I'm home. I've stashed away a lot of things today that I am sure I will need within the next 3 to 6 months. Then I'll sit there and scratch my head and wonder if I lost it in Charleston or if it's buried deep under my pile of crap somewhere in the corner of a closet that hasn't seen any action in the last 3 to 6 months.

But when that time comes, I'll deal. And until then, I will require time to readjust - get reacquainted. It was kind of tough for me to come home to such fanfare and celebration - because I don't feel comfortable here yet. And I don't want it feel like home just yet.

For those reading - I'd recommend looking around at the place you call "home". What are things that you just don't even recognize where you are? The color of the walls, the placement of furniture or art. The characteristics of your appliances. These are things I just kind of expected. Nothing I ever paid any attention to until now. I guess there wasn't enough room in the brain for it all, and I am afraid I've already pushed out some of Charleston to make room for Bothell.

I guess the best way to put it would be that it feels comfortable - but in a sense like a 4 or 5 star hotel. The realization that I might be here for a solid amount of time still hasn't sunk in yet. I'm waiting to get that email that says, "Want to go back to Charleston?"

And I might be waiting for a long time.