Rando Notes March 2008

It’s been over 6 months since I bought my laptop. I love it. And believe it or not, this is the first time I’ll be posting from it. I don’t know why I haven’t done this before. I guess it helped me concentrate when I was writing up on my desktop in my office.

Along with another first, I am watching opening day for the Seattle Mariners as I type this. We are in the top of the 6^th – Bedard made it through 5 innings but had a pretty high pitch count. He gave up 1 home run and we’re currently down 1 to nothing. I was telling the wife this weekend that I planned on watching at least 162 full games this year. Which equates to about 30 full days of watching baseball.

They’re all in HD so I figure, why not. Plus the “experts” predicted that the M’s will end the season atop our division – which is perennially strong. We’ve finally got the pitching.

In about the 3^rd inning I was already starting to fall asleep. Had to have a sugar injection to keep me going. A brownie, part of a doughnut and a glass of milk later – here I am. I’m glad to be here instead of at the game – it’s about 30 degrees and snowing out in Seattle right now. At the end of freaking March. Unbelievable. I’m going to remember this – we got about 4 inches of snow on Saturday night which was the 29^th.

I really need a laptop desk. Right now I’m using one of our couch’s throw pillows. It really heats up the laptop. And the only reason I’m using the pillow is because I’ve heard the heat from the laptop can really kill your soldiers. And since we haven’t pumped out any children yet – I figure it’s best to protect them as much as possible.

My ears have been pretty itchy lately. I’m not sure what’s going on. I think it’s allergies. Suck. I need to go see an ENT doc to figure out what’s going on with me. I need to go before our trip to Europe because the pain in my ear is excruciating when we fly. To describe the pain in my ear when I fly (from the pressure – apologize if I’ve done this before) it’s almost as if someone is taking a nail, and jamming it down my ear. But not down my ear like a q-tip, but down my ear like towards the sides of my neck. Scrapping all of the sides of my ear on the way down.

Just the thought of that pain makes me cringe.

Sweet the Mariner’s just scored. Tie ball game. Only 161 games to go. Heh.

And to top it all off – I also signed up for a fantasy baseball league. Basically my life is over. I’ve never paid that close of attention before, but now that I’ve got players on my team, and I’ve got pride and money on the line, I’ve got to pay a lot more attention than just catching a game every now and then.

Speaking of sports – and another oddity – for the big dance this year all 4 number 1 seeds made it to the final four. Davidson made a solid run at it but sputtered in the elite 8. Still a solid showing. UNC, Kansas, Memphis and UCLA. All very strong teams. Should be a good final 4.

Today was excruciatingly boring at work. Literally I was looking at my monitor and in pain over how bored I was. Even the thing I have loved doing lately – and that’s trading – was a bit boring. I even had a swing of almost $1500 today. What’s wrong with me?

How can I seriously think that I want to do this full time, when I’m bored of doing it just part time? *sigh*

There’s a website I just joined – it’s like marketocracy.com but with less requirements on how you invest and better geared towards the facebook type crowd. It’s called updown.com. They give you a million dollars to invest and you “compete” against other people on the boards and share investing ideas. After almost a week of using a million dollars to invest I have made $40K. And that’s just buying and shorting stocks. Not playing options like I actually do. This is what I want to do. I want to put together a million dollars to trade. In my opinion it would be pretty easy for me to make a solid yearly return. So if anyone reading this knows someone who might be willing to invest with me, please contact me. If there’s something that interests me – it’s making returns not only for myself, but possibly for others. I want to start a fund!

It’s tough waiting for summer. Something about the weather has been pissing me off lately. Today was a perfect example of it. The whole day – from the time I can see the sky around 7:30 am all the way up until about 2 pm or later – it’s clear out, and dry. But somehow, God (or the people who control the weather and hate me) decide to move the clouds in and start dumping on us. And normally it wouldn’t be that big of a deal – but I like to take the dog out for her daily walk. It’s as much of a walk for her as it is for me. I get to calm down a little bit from my day at work – and I can set my mind at ease since my dog has done her duty and will be good for the next few hours.

And I know; this doesn’t happen every day. And I know that it’s still basically winter. But still, when I see a pattern develop – or when I’m on the way home and the raindrops start falling on my windshield – I get so pissed off. Seriously, it couldn’t rain a drop while I was at work? But as soon as I leave or I’m on my way home it starts coming down? Terrible.

During our walk today, I was thinking about my self-worth. I was thinking about how much more I could be contributing to a company. How my own perception of my abilities and talents were currently being wasted in the position I was working in. And how the other side of me really didn’t care. I’m in a position where I am now considered a veteran – where major overhauls and changes aren’t always coming down the pipeline – where I can leave every day and know that I don’t have to bring any work home with me…it’s safe. And it’s easy. But could, or should I be doing more with myself? Should I be challenging myself or be putting myself in more stressful positions to prove at the least to myself – my own self-worth?

That’s too deep of thinking for me right now. It being almost the 7^th inning stretch now.

This past weekend I helped to build my very first fence. It’s about halfway done and I’m pretty proud of the work we’ve done so far – especially with what we did in the freezing hail. It’s looking like we’ll be staying in this house for some time. So as long as our raises continue to beat inflation and we stay healthy we should be just dandy.

I keep seeing all of these advertisements for mobile internet from Qwest, AT&T, Verizon, etc. I really want that for some reason. I know that there’s free wi-fi almost anywhere I go now. But just seeing these guys out on the beach and doing work looks so awesome to me. I want to be that guy with his toes in the sand and watching the waves roll in.

I better stop writing…the laptop is starting to get nice and toasty. I apologize the post was somewhat boring – but that’s my life right now. And really, I don’t mind it at all.

The Bear Stearns Diet

And if you’re not sure what that means, just take a look at the following chart.

OMGsh

I think March is going to be “short post month”.

Today, the streak of terrible eating (diet) stopped for me. Finally.

I don’t know what it was. I had enough time to cook. I always have my parent’s house that I can swing by and eat something somewhat healthy. I always have the option to eat something healthy when I go out. But I just never did. From Wednesday the 12^th of March to yesterday, the 16^th, I ate some of the most terrible foods for myself – and really for no good reason. It was almost as if I was on a road trip, yet right at home the whole time.

The Rundown:

On Wednesday night (wow – can you remember what you ate last Wednesday? I can) the wife had her EMMMBA class and I was lifting and watching the UW basketball game – terrible season fellas. Unfortunately it was running a bit long, and the whole time I was watching I was trying to figure out what to eat for dinner. And the longer I waited the longer I realized it was going to take me too long to cook. I also had to pick up a prescription at the pharmacy – which I knew would take some time – so I figured, what the f – I’ll go out for dinner while I’m waiting to get my prescription filled.

The wife talked about eating a jumbo jack for lunch that day when she had gotten home from work. So at that point I was craving them. Never has the gas station JITB on 128^th failed me. It was the old western jamboorjoor hangout. This time, it was terrible. The food tasted like cardboard. They didn’t have any barbeque sauce for my jumbo jack. A skinhead showed up and watched me eat while he smoked outside. I was sitting there waiting for him to bust out his 9 and shoot the place up (including me). He ended up ordering a sourdough jack.

On Thursday I had an options investing seminar to go to from 6-9 pm. And I was out of gas in my car so I went to fill up at Costco – 5% back woot! Go figure, might as well stop and get their delicious hot dogs and a slice of pizza. I regret the pizza. It was old and burnt from sitting under the warming lamps for too long. The hot dog was good as usual. I apologize to Kong for possibly having hot dog/onion breath. Absolutely terrible.

Friday we had “employee appreciation day!” which meant that I got a KKD (Krispy Kreme Doughnut) first thing as I walked in the door. At 6:30 am. It took me almost 6 hours to get the whole thing down. Way too sweet for me. Made me feel so sick I couldn’t finish it. One chocolate glazed KKD. Please revoke my man card. On top of the doughnut we also received a free cafeteria lunch. Basically the only thing that’s offered in our cafeteria is heart attack fare. Which is why I only buy food there once a month. I had a cheeseburger and deep fried onion rings. And replaced the mayo with tartar sauce. And dipped my rings in tartar. I love tartar.

From a long hard day at work and a major calorie overload, I came home to nap. When the wife and I woke up from the nap we decided we were hungry again so we rushed and just beat the clock in making it to McMenamin’s early happy hour. 1 pitcher of porter, 2 baskets of tater tots, and 2 corndogs later I was stuffed. And at this point is when I started realizing what I had been doing to myself…but I continued to let it slide…

Saturday I made it all the way to lunch before succumbing to the terribleness that is American food. KFC. 3 piece meal, mashed potatoes and gravy, baked beans and a biscuit. And throw a few hundred more calories on top of it all to wash it down with some root beer. The wife wanted to try one of those grill wrap things and it’s been over 2 years since I’ve had KFC so I decided to give it a shot. Didn’t regret it. Grill wrap wasn’t as good as it looked though.

Saturday night we were scrambling for what to do for food before our comedy show, so we baked up a frozen generic combo pizza from Albertson’s. Well done 400 calories a slice. I ate 2.

That night, when we got to the show, we found the early showing was sold out. So we drank. I had 7 coors lights. And washed that down with a “full order” of nachos. The “full order” is really meant for a minimum of 2 people. Luckily I had 4 to help me out. I wasn’t even that hungry, it being that I had just eaten pizza less than 2 hours ago.

And of course, one of the people we picked up to come to the show with us lives up the street from Dick’s, so we had to stop in at 1:30 am that night to pick up 1 deluxe, 3 specials and fries. I only have 1 special of all of that left. Taunting me from the fridge.

Sunday morning. McDonald’s sausage mcmuffin (forgot to say egg! D’oh!) and hashbrown. After complaining that the regular sausage mcmuffin wasn’t as good as the sausage egg mcmuffin, I stood up and got one. 800 calorie breakfast. Awesome.

Just thinking about all the shit I’ve thrown down my pie hole…makes me want to eat spinach for a few days. Even after just getting out of the shower just thinking about all of this terrible food makes me feel dirty…inside.

Now to completely change topics but to remain under the same subject heading:

Bear sterns is awesome.

This would probably be the best article to read on it.

Here’s what I heard on NPR on the drive home:

1) Bear sterns had leveraged themselves at a 28 to 1 ratio. TWENTY EIGHT! You idiots! You deserve to go down in flames. The fact that JPM and the fed are stepping in to help you avoid bankruptcy is terrible. I don’t care! Let the financial system break! You fuckers broke it!

*breathe*

1a) Any good gambler knows about bankroll control. Obviously it didn’t get up to the people playing with billions of dollars.

2) Just like the article I’ve linked here, Bear Sterns 14,000 employees made up over 30% of the value of the stock. Some of the employees were invested in the stock for 100% of their retirement accounts. How ironic is that? An employee of an investment banking firm investing 100% of their RETIREMENT fund in their own company? Hahahahah! That is absolutely hilarious! I want to laugh out loud right now, but it’s late. And I am a bastard because I know there is some Joe Schmoe out there who has given 40 years of his life to the company and has seen 40 years of precious savings SQUANDERED in literally 3 days. Caveat emptor pal. Dumbasses *cough*

3) Here comes the domino effect. And it’s been one long domino effect since a year ago when LEND fell. That was the red flag. Unfortunately I haven’t shorted like I would have liked to (I’m sure there are those out there who have become extremely wealthy from our financial system’s demise) but I’m hoping to catch one sooner or later. Maybe Citi again? Lehman?

4) I can’t wait to see the looks on those smug i-banking bastards. Yeah, you were making hundreds of thousands of dollars a year…by adding almost NO value whatsoever! I am going to do a little dance for you all when the layoffs come.

1b) I know it’s out of order – just remembered I wanted to write this: So, given my trading bank roll, I am using 100% of the equity in my home. Let’s say a bank gave me 28 to 1 leverage on my equity. That would mean I could play TWO MILLION EIGHT HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS in the market based on the value of my home.

I am in awe.

These are amazing times. I’m glad I’m alive to witness all the change that happens every day.

A Prayer

Just like my new year’s resolution said (right?) – I wanted to pray more.

And I have been. And in its own little way, it’s helped.

Today was somewhat depressing for me – by no means did I have a terrible day at all (there have been much worse) but the world just seemed to beat on me a bit.

So to help me calm down, another short March post. And included; a prayer I’m going to write out, instead of saying in my head:

Dear Lord (because it reads better than “God” to me),

My life is better than I could have imagined it for myself years ago. I am in great health and surrounded by people that provide me strength and love. Thank you for that.

But something in me just won’t quit until I can achieve every thing I set my mind to. And at times, they can be in a direct conflict with my own will power.

Please help me handle my own struggles within myself.

I know I must learn that there are things that are out of my control and as much as I try to deny them I know they will continue on.

Please help me accept the struggles outside of myself and allow me to not be so burdened with the weight of it all. I know you are there to help me carry this. Thank you.

Please help me realize that life is the longest marathon I will ever run. Show me how to take a longer term view of life and show me that the things I do on a daily basis are just a small portion – one step of that marathon. Help me slow down and calm my hyperactive mind.

Place me in the state of contentment. At times it has been hard to find.

Thanks for all you do, we’ll talk again soon.

Seth

I Miss

Ugh

So I didn’t hit 4 posts last month. I am distraught. I literally didn’t want to post all of March for what am embarrassment I am to myself. Not even able to keep up with my 4 posts per month rule. Terrible.

I wanted to make this a short post, because I wanted to go to sleep somewhat early tonight.

And I was watching a special on PBS (nerd) on Deepak Chopra (super nerd) tonight and he was talking about things past and future. And for some reason that struck a chord with me. He said something about what you see when you close your eyes when you think of these things.

The reason that this post is entitled “I miss” is because each of the following points should start with that phrase.

-My parents. It’s so odd because they literally live minutes from me. I feel like ever since college, or maybe high school, or maybe ever – we’ve never really connected. Sure, we talk about our things in common, but it’s been rare that I’ve ever had that deep conversation with either of them.

-Sparks. Fireworks. I miss feeling like there were these magical explosions around my head during those kisses. I miss the dogged excitement.

-Paying rent. Or not paying rent or a mortgage at all.

-Having only a savings account.

-Having somewhat straight teeth.

-My cousins. Playing football. Or playing basketball. Or just hanging out.

-My church friends. I remember screaming “Love ya!” across an auditorium to them. I don’t think I’ve ever felt that close to anyone outside of my family.

-All of my past (and mostly quirky) coworkers. Although you may not remember me, I definitely still remember most of you.

-The IMA. Having Don Jones drive me in the Datsun B210 which I bought for him. Going down to the gym almost 4 nights a week to play basketball for close to 3 hours every time. Flag football with blocking.

-Long, sunny afternoons at Denny field when me and the guys would skip out on studying calculus in the Math Study Center and ball it up until the lights turned on…and then turned off.

-Being able to wake up at 10:30 am on weekdays because I didn’t have class until noon. Or didn’t want to go to class at all.

-Working part time and wearing sweats to work.

-Having my own bed. With only the comforter on it. And having my computer next to my own bed.