FUCK

You know what I hate the most about myself sometimes? Is the fact that I hold myself (and others) to some pretty high standards regarding a few things.

Well, it is about time I made this post. I don’t think I’ve ever used the subject line of “FUCK” before. So here you go. In all it’s glory.

Today, while bored at work, I was looking over my previous bills, knowing that my Comcast bill was due soon. Looking over my previous payments I realized that “FUCK!” I missed out on a couple bills. So here I am, sitting now. Realizing that it is MY responsibility and no one else’s that these bills get paid on time.

I’ve worked out a pretty successful bill paying method. And because I’m OCD and bored out of my mind, I’ll write it out for you. Obviously if things don’t go this way, things get FUCKED.

1) Get bill in mail

2) Open bill

3) Be happy and/or sad and/or surprised regarding bill

4) Bring bill upstairs

5) Pay bill using http://www.becu.org/ online bill payer (actually very nifty/helpful)

6) Write the word “PAID” in big BOLD graffiti marker pen writing. I do this because it feels good and I also know for sure that the bill is paid and I no longer have to worry about it.

7) Let the bill sit on the desk until it gets too cluttered and either Michelle puts it in our “important papers” folder, or is thrown away.

So guess what. Tonight I became a person I despise. And hating yourself is the worst feeling in the world. I don’t think I will be able to sleep tonight. Mainly it is for this reason: We got no interest financing on for both our TV and our other appliances. Sweet deal. Same as cash. Pay off the entire balance by X date and don’t pay a cent extra. Just like using your own money, but making monthly installments (how I look at it).

Anyway, I looked through a pile of mail that’s been sitting on the computer desk for at least 3 weeks now. What DO YOU KNOW!!! There’s 2 different bills there. And golly gee, they’re saying I’m past due! And they’re also saying I now owe late fees! Woohoo! I’m their favorite customer now! Before it was ME screwing them out of money…well, for you econ majors out there, TIME VALUE of money. They got it all back in fell swoop of the LATE fee. Or what I like to think of it as: The punishment for being an idiot.

Wow. Awesome. I’m a complete d-bag.

Let’s break it down as to how this issue occurred:

All steps from above, 1) through 4) were followed in all of their glory.

5) Somehow 5) became PUT BILL in important papers bin.

6) Is now sit in important papers bin until past due

7) Receive a late notice in mail that is never read as it is stacked in bunch of other mail

8) Sift through unread mail

9) Sinking feeling

10) Go to look in important papers bin

11) Realize that I did receive the bills, and somehow did not pay them, also realize that it is my RESPONSIBILITY TO PAY THEM

12) Get fucking pissed that it is my responsibility

13) Go to http://www.becu.org/ and pay double what is owed on the bills in an angry rage

14) Write FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK all over the bills, 2 out of 5 which are late and which also caused me a late fee, while the companies sit there and laugh because they made an extra $70 off of my stupidity.

15) Take a picture to remember the moment so it never happens AGAIN, and also for your viewing entertainment.

See how many more steps that is? It’s much easier if I adhere to my own standards and just pay fucking bills on time and look like a smart and good customer with it’s head on it’s shoulder, not the guy, who tomorrow will call both credit companies and ask for a one time refund based off the fact I have not had a late payment the past 7 months (wow what great history) but whatever, I’m going to beg. And yes, $70 is just enough money to get me to beg for a refund. Fuck $20 would’ve been.

Wow. It’s going to be tough to sleep tonight. It’s also going to be hard to not blame Michelle. My life sucks right now. Did you want a Vegas trip post? Too bad. We drank a lot and I spent a ridiculous amount of money. Anything else you need to know? Ok. One more post for this month. That’s all you get. It’ll probably be the cold feet post next time. Oh and if you couldn’t tell or I forgot to write, that’s a picture of 5 of the monthly bills I have…it says “FUCK” all over them.

Seriously. Fuck.