Cynicism – Office Style

One of my favorite shows right now is “The Office”. The main reason is because it reminds me of where I work. And it basically makes most of my darkest thoughts while I’m in my office come true. The show lives on a constant barrage of racial slurs, “un-pc” terms and actions, and the fake enthusiasm that abounds from the higher ups but always seems to fall on deaf ears when it gets to those on the ground level of the company.

And everyone has their own reaction to how things occur in “The Office” and also in my office. There are the people that just aren’t there. The people who do their jobs, and just shrug off everything else. They are neither excited nor offended by anything that occurs in the office. On the complete opposite side of the spectrum, you have people that are the brown noses. Those that suck up to their direct manager hoping that their good office “relationship” will in fact get them somewhere in the near future. They try their best to always show themselves in the best light. Mindless drones that follow commands like my dog does for treats.

Then, there’s the group I put myself in. The cynics. The people that sarcastically laugh in the face of both of these groups (more of the 2nd type though). I take my job as it is. I do not exert more effort than is required. My job does not define who I am and my job is not my life. Now if my job was actually interesting, or if I had some sort of larger responsibility to this company (read: power, more specifically the power to change things) then just possibly the job might mean more to me. But until that point, I’m just going to cross my arms and laugh.

Let me give you an example of something I sat through today:

http://www.the212movie.com/

We were sent to an hour long meeting, half of which was pointlessly wasted on this. My hope is that many of you find this hilarious. Because really, it belongs in some sort of comedy skit. And the reason why it is funny to me? I can just imagine the guy working on this animation. Having an entire script he’s got to include on it. Making sure he’s using photos that aren’t copy written…all that hard work just so that I could give an over emotional clap at the end of it. 212 degrees. You know what else water does at 212 degrees? It burns your freaking hand. Why didn’t they show the guy in the ER with the burn blisters on his hand from spilling boiling water on himself while trying to make a bowl of chicken noodle soup? Why did they go the route of the locomotive?

I’ll tell you why: Because they’re trying to motivate us. YOU. They’re yelling at YOU. NOW is the time. YOU must take control of your destiny. I MUST HOLD IN MY LAUGHTER UNTIL THIS VIDEO IS OVER. Luckily one of my coworkers busted up first…a fellow cynic. I just followed and then continued on with the *almost* standing ovation at the end of it. Seriously, it almost brought a tear to my eye. So vague. So generic. So riveting.

And me? The cynic? PFFFTTTT…I’ll be here the same time tomorrow. In fact, I was here right after that meeting. Did that video evoke any sort of emotion from me to do better in my job? Nope. I’m doing the same job I was before. Except now I have something to add to my blog. And to continue on with the theme:

Near Thanksgiving a mass email was sent (they are all always getting sent to me about “Spirit!” and things like, “Having a Positive Attitude!”) only saying one thing. Names have been removed to protect the innocent. I am such a blatant cynic that I confront those from other groups and laugh at my conniving ways. The first email sent starts at the top:

Sent: Tuesday, November 21, 2006 1:57 PM
To:
Subject: *** 516 ***

The number 516.
You'll find out tomorrow what is special about this number!

From: Q, SETH
Sent: Tuesday, November 21, 2006 1:59 PM
To:
Subject: RE: *** 516 ***

I just heard from my doctor that I’ve only got until midnight tonight to live

Can you please tell me what this means today?

From:
Sent: Tuesday, November 21, 2006 3:05 PM
To: Q, SETH
Subject: RE: *** 516 ***


Oh my, don't kid about things like that.
If you won't be here tomorrow, I would be willing to reveal to you in email…
but only if you wont be here tomorrow!!

This is the kind of stuff I deal with on almost a daily basis. I’m glad my office can provide such great entertainment for me. And of course, I understand the root cause of all this cynicism…but that’s all too deep of stuff for me to be talking about for today. For now, just enjoy the stuff I’m sure most of us have to sit through each day…and hopefully you can laugh at it instead of hanging yourself…