In less than a week it’ll be one year that I’ve been married.
Wow.
Now I know how our parents, and their parents made it 40, 50 or even more years as married couples.
Because it flies. And yes, at times it crawls. But on nights like these, you tend to wonder what happened to a year.
I was looking back over my blog for what I wrote in September…nothing. Well done myself.
It’s ok – I’ve got enough pictures from that month and the wedding to fill up volumes (and they do).
I don’t claim to know much about how a successful marriage should be, or should work, but I think I’m trying to teach myself a few things, or maybe learn things from myself from writing them out here. I don’t really have any other way to lay them out properly…eh…anyway.
Advice, Comments, General Sharing of Self Experience and/or Knowledge:
When people ask me how married life is, it’s really no different. Especially if you were living together before you were married. And honestly, I wonder what couple doesn’t live together before they get married. I would actually find that kind of weird…I mean, I would want to know how my future spouse lived in close quarters with me before I could decide whether or not I could spend the rest of my life with her. Wouldn’t you?
I honestly don’t understand the guys who are single in to their mid to late 30s. What is wrong with you guys? I worry about the guys who are in their mid to late 20s and in no hurry at all. I worry they’ll become those mid to late 30s guys. Guys, marriage is not the prison you make it up to be. Unless you marry the warden or prison guard. So choose wisely. Or maybe it’s because nobody wants to marry you? I suppose that could be a possibility too. I’m not going to solve that problem…
Michelle is my 2nd mom. Thank God. Sometimes I can feel kind of useless because I used to do everything myself when I lived out in Seattle on my own, but her cooking is better than my micro waving so I do my best to be gracious.
Marriage takes a lot of work on both sides. Sure, I wrote it. Do I follow it enough? No. I’m working on it. It’s going to take time. Luckily I’ve got a lot of it ahead of me.
Do I get scared sometimes that this is forever? Absolutely! Do I give shit to other guys about to get married? Definitely! Would I be worse off still living with a roommate or my parents? Exactly. Having someone there…(by law – heh) is always great. Which brings me to my next point…
It’s not going to be puppy love, hot and steamy, I’m going to die without you need you here with me now - all the time. It’s just not realistic. Especially in a household with two working parties and schedules. To try and keep it fresh all the time is just trying too hard in my opinion. Can it get boring and routine sometimes? Yes. But (being the pessimist that I am) think of all the bad things that could go wrong. I could be struck down with lung cancer after only smoking one cigarette in my lifetime. Then what? Then I’d be wishing I was more grateful for those days that we just went to work, then came home and sat around – and were healthy. It’s all about perspective. Something I’ve got to remind myself of sometimes. And being out and adventurous and on the road gets tiring. Sure, a few weeks away from home a couple times a year? Great…wait…does that mean I’m really converting to home body status? Uh oh…
One of the best things about marriage is that you can set goals for the both of you. You can work together to achieve things, and the synergy (woot! Go vocab) that’s created between your partnership does so much more than if you had been working separately (even on the same thing! Confusing…). Having someone there to support your endeavors and dreams however far fetched they may be is one of best things about having a partner “in crime”.
And on that note, Michelle and I are building an amazing base. We’re accomplishing things I wouldn’t have thought would be possible until we were more financially secure. Sometimes I look at us and am blown away by how well we are actually doing. I honestly can’t think of one couple who is doing better (even adjusted for inflation for older couples :p), although I know of one who is close. And of course I’m tooting my own horn (or ours) but I’m just excited about the launch pad that we’re building ourselves…to of course rocket us in to the future. (cheesy) We’re young enough to really shape the direction of our lives and take risks where if we had had kids already or were in more demanding jobs we couldn’t have done these things. It really makes me proud that we are learning together and bettering ourselves. I can’t ask for much more right now.
I started to write advice for other married couples or soon-to-be married couples but then realized I completely flipped from talking about me/us to getting up on the soap box. I don’t feel like preaching that much.
It’s getting pretty late, and I know my posts have been short…but I literally feel like I am so inundated with things right now that I don’t have a clear enough head to write. I’ll try my best to keep pounding these out though…if only for my own sake of reading these later on.
Here’s to one year. We made it. And I guarantee a lot more where this one came from.
Love you darling.
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