Home Sweet...Weird

You know that weird feeling...

When you run in to someone from your past

And they look oddly familiar to you

But you can't place them

And here they come...up to you...shaking your hand, giving you a pat on the shoulder, remembering your name and asking you how someone significant in your life is doing.

Yet you can't figure out their name. You can't figure out where you've spent time with them before. But you know you have.

And yes - how crazy it is that we run in to each other here of all places! Ha ha!

And finally you give in. You don't want to walk away from this conversation not knowing who this person was that was familiar.

Sometimes it completely clicks. You put it together. They've changed their hair! They've lost weight. Or maybe a complete wardrobe makeover.

Or, sometimes you're still at a complete loss. They try to explain it to you further. C'mon! Don't you remember me from summer camp 1997? Remember how we got stuck in that tree that we were climbing and we had to get a counselor to get a ladder? Hilarious right?

Still nothing. You're searching your memory.

That's how the past few hours have felt for me. I walked in to a house that I've spent a great amount of time in in the past. Things looked perfectly familiar, but in the slightest ways either they had changed or my memory never took proper pictures of them. More than likely the latter.

Things that weren't in my memory now confused me.

I don't remember the toilet bowls being so round. And small. I thought they had plastic handles, not metal. And the flushing is pretty weak. Do I remember them being this weak? Maybe. But it seems like so long ago.

The carpet is thinner and not as soft as I remember. When I was playing with the dog I got down on all fours and touched the carpet with my hands for the first time today. It looks the same, but it feels completely different. Is this my house or is this a copy of my house? That's exactly how I felt.

The couch sunk a lot. And I'm not sure if that was our renter sitting in it way too much, or maybe how I had sat on a very hard microfiber couch for the past 6 months. I asked the wife to look in to re-stuffing it when 6 months ago I didn't have one problem with it. In fact I specifically remember thinking how great it was to just throw my fat ass in to it after work.

The sink is shallow. Or maybe is it because the sink in Charleston was so deep. These are the things I can't decide. Did I think the sink was shallow before I left? Because I don't remember it being this shallow.

The pantry slides faster than I remember. When I opened it this afternoon I almost broke one of the folding doors because I slammed it up against the wall. Wasn't it harder to open this when I left? Did our renter grease the tracks? It was the same thing with the fridge. Almost as if the fridge had gone on a diet and lost weight while I was gone. It was scary how easy it was to open one of the fridge doors - and no I have not been lifting more than often.

The paintings and pictures that hang on the wall are crooked to me now. It's almost as if a minor tremor had shaken them from their spots - of what I remember. But did I ever notice if they were off-center before we left? I don't remember thinking that I should adjust anything that we had hanging.

The garbage. Wow, we have to separate out our garbage again. Washington State has curbside recycling pick up. And not only that, but instead of just bringing my trash bag to the garage to dump off I've got to put it in my trash can which has to be rolled to my curb once a week. It's amazing that I had forgotten about this after bringing the trash to the curb since I was a teenager. And if you knew how far away my curb was from my house you would know why this is somewhat shocking to me.

Our stove and microwave suck. The set up we had in Charleston was much better. Bigger. More technologically advanced. I didn't realize how spoiled I was to have a "reheat plate" setting on my microwave. Through 5 days of being back home I have had to either stop the microwave because of exploding food or reheat something because I didn't warm it up for long enough. The wife is already shopping for a new range.

The first time I needed silverware I looked in 3 different drawers before finding them. I could not believe it. I kept saying to myself, "Now, if I were me, where would I logically put the silverware?" I was embarrassed in my own house at the gap that was in my memory.

The house is much colder than I remember. And yet we have the heater on at 68 degrees while we're home. Just like we had it before we left. Is it because it's not 80 degrees outside? Is that why I'm so cold?

It took me about 3 weeks of living in Charleston to get used to our living space and where everything was. And since we just received the shipment from Charleston of all of our household goods I'm assuming it will take me just as long now that I'm home. I've stashed away a lot of things today that I am sure I will need within the next 3 to 6 months. Then I'll sit there and scratch my head and wonder if I lost it in Charleston or if it's buried deep under my pile of crap somewhere in the corner of a closet that hasn't seen any action in the last 3 to 6 months.

But when that time comes, I'll deal. And until then, I will require time to readjust - get reacquainted. It was kind of tough for me to come home to such fanfare and celebration - because I don't feel comfortable here yet. And I don't want it feel like home just yet.

For those reading - I'd recommend looking around at the place you call "home". What are things that you just don't even recognize where you are? The color of the walls, the placement of furniture or art. The characteristics of your appliances. These are things I just kind of expected. Nothing I ever paid any attention to until now. I guess there wasn't enough room in the brain for it all, and I am afraid I've already pushed out some of Charleston to make room for Bothell.

I guess the best way to put it would be that it feels comfortable - but in a sense like a 4 or 5 star hotel. The realization that I might be here for a solid amount of time still hasn't sunk in yet. I'm waiting to get that email that says, "Want to go back to Charleston?"

And I might be waiting for a long time.