The Do Nothing A-hole

Sunday night.

The night that many employed people across the world dread.

The last few hours of freedom, then back to the dregs that are the Monday morning rat race.

Every weekday morning I wake up and look up at my ceiling fan. Wishing I hadn't woken up.

Because as soon as I do, it's over. I can't get back to sleep. Well not ever, but most of the time. And it is terribly frustrating just laying in bed and not being able to sleep.

Tonight I was considering sleeping pills to get me through the day. Because right now, there is no point.

I think everyone has it backwards. They dream of being at home all day while they're at work. Imagining their warm and inviting beds. Take it from someone who has had that for over 20 straight days now: It's not that warm, and the invitation wears off pretty quickly.

There is only so much reading, so much internet surfing, video game playing, walking the dog, basketball playing, weight lifting (etc) that you can do to pass the time. All the things you do in your "free time" (the time you would normally spend away from work) cannot fill your entire day forever. And sure it won't be forever - I hope, but at this point I'm stuck.

I'm stuck because I know I'm heading back to Seattle. But won't be doing so for another 42 days. And for those 42 days I've got to figure out how to burn time. How do you burn away over 1/10th of a year and hopefully come out on the other end with something to show for it?

How do I avoid not getting down on myself? I try to have things planned to do every day. I try not to think about things too much or too hard.

But sometimes it doesn't work. Sunday nights for example. Right now I feel like a do nothing asshole and I can't imagine anything better than sleeping through tomorrow morning all the way to dinner time.

I need some black out blinds.