I don't see the buses anymore

I know, my last post was a bit depressing...I'll try not to continue that trend. But I have to start off with this:

On my way to work this morning, and on the way to work every morning, I see the kids standing at the end of their respective drive ways, backpacks on shoulders, hair wet from the rain, some listening to head phones, others chatting, some on skateboards, others wearing clothes that are meant for people 5 times their weight...

And sometimes I get stuck behind a bus. Usually the wait isn't too bad. Kids are good about getting on and off buses, and most of the time I'm not behind the disabled bus. Thank God for not being disabled BTW.

I realized on the way to work that I soon wouldn't be seeing the kids in the coming week. Summer break is here. The last real summer I had was probably the best. The summer between 8th and 9th grade. And of course, here are my parents telling me to get a job...at 14? HAH. "Steve has a job". Well yeah, Steve worked basically illegally for family friends at the fruit market. Steve would come over and just hang. We would just sit there until something would come along. Bike down to thrashers? Great. Play basketball? Awesome. Toss the baseball if your dad can drive us to the Kirkland waterfront? Excellent. We get invited to ride on the jet skis of my neighbors? Wow. What a great time. What an excellent summer. All I worried about was mowing the lawn. Saturday? Ok. Mow the lawn.

Looking back now, I wasted so much time. Just sitting there. Watching TV. Watching at least 3 hours of TV a day. Hell. I had nothing else to do. I used to wake up to my mom watering the plants outside and just go sit out there in the morning sun in my boxers. 9:30 am. What a perfect time to wake up. And every night. Every night, it was mariners on TV. Dad BBQing. If I had even known that in a few years I would be working 8 hours a day while the sun came up and over my head, 70 degrees out and people going off the rope swing at Saint Ed's...if I had known that I would be stuck in a cubicle all that time I would've been going non stop those summers...because I guarantee I wasted about a quarter if not half of each summer I had.

So that's what I want. I want a summer. I want 3 long months. June 15th to September 15th. Sure, I'll go back after labor day. That's fine. I can compromise. June 15th to September 3rd or 4th...whatever the Tuesday is. In the working world that's what we would call a sebattical (sp) medical leave...am I pregnant? No. I just want the ability to just "hang". Maybe I should consider going back to being a poker pro...*heh*

Waterfights. July 4th. Baseball. Pick up basketball games. Girls in short skirts and tank tops. Washing and waxing the car. Sunsets at 10 pm. Ice cream. Tan skin. Sunglasses. Flip flops. Never looking at a calendar or a clock, no schedule whatsoever. Eating outdoors. Camping.

It's unrealistic. But it's a dream that I've lived before. If only I had known how good I had had it. Maybe some day I'll get another chance to experience that kind of freedom. That feeling of the last day of school. I thought I would get it before my 2 weeks of vacation at work...just wasn't the same.

It's late. I'm screwed for work tomorrow. Going to be very tired.