Bittersweet Symphony + Extraordinary

"I'm tired of being ordinary".

Someone told me this once. Complaining that their lives were sham. That there was no point.

That what they did on a day to day basis made no difference whatsoever. That if suddenly they were to die, sure their small group of friends, family and acquaintances would all miss them and die, but what would their legacy to the human race be? None really.

"Well do something that makes you extraordinary then."
"Like what?"
"I dunno."

On the road home, stuck in 50 minutes of traffic for 12 miles...a song came on the radio that absolutely spoke to me.

And I know it has spoken to me for sometime. It just didn't come through as clear as it did that June afternoon. 92 degrees and hundreds of cars in front of me...stuck.

Trying to make ends meet
You're a slave to money
Then you die

I'll take you down the only road
I've ever been down

All struggling to get home. Faces on hands. Listening to the radio.

Just to be home to sit on the couch and watch the TV.

Well at least, for most, it's a lot easier than "work". It's a lot more comfortable than sitting in your business casual and crappy office chairs from the 80's.

And you're free to do what you'd like at home. I guess that's the comfort of it.

But how do we all continue on? How do you find purpose in your life? Are the distractions of "shiny objects" or the daily rumors about so called "celebrities" enough for you to hold on to?

Sure, those with children, I can understand. You have children. You have lives that are your responsibility. I can see the purpose in a parent's eyes.

But what about me? Where does my purpose come from? No other lives truly depend on mine. And the difference I make in this world when I'm all said and done will be very little, if at all any.

So what. I want to be extraordinary. How I become "extraordinary" is up to me though. And that's the tough part. I want to be a good force in this world. I want to do more good for it than I do harm. And I just want that to be a portion of who I am, because no matter what, I have to be selfish in the end. Even though I feel like I've got to take care of things outside of my control, I've also got to take care of myself. And making myself a better person doesn't immediately translate in to making this world a better place.

And it's all "wants" and there's very little "do"s. And that's why this is my blog. Because I get to write things out on paper that I've been thinking of. How punching a clock makes me really sick sometimes. But how other people are going through the same thing and somehow they push on day after day. Yet, some people never have this same realization that I do. And that I have this feeling every couple of months...

But I'm doing just fine. A change isn't required. Most people would say I was doing better than fine. But sometimes good enough isn't good enough for me. Ugh, I've been thinking too much today.

Happy President's Day.