I Coulda Been a Contender

Not really. Well, yes really. Just not yet. But maybe so. In some instances. Ok, enough.

At the least, I love that saying. Before 5 minutes ago, all I heard in my head was a harsh New Jersey type accent saying that line.

I guess it’s from “On the Waterfront”. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0047296/quotes

And the reason that I like this quote, is throughout my life, I’ve partially strived to be a “jack of all trades”. It took lots of education, and lots of different work at things, and it’s still a work in progress, but I’m satisfied with where I am right now and where I’m going.

When I find something interesting, or something that I want to get “better” at, I work at it. For long hours. With lots of gusto.

After trying out the 3 major sports as a kid, and a major growth spurt at 14, I decided I might have a chance at making the NBA. Please, laugh all you’d like, for now. Ok, stop please. I was outside for 3-4 hours a night, in the pouring rain, shooting hoops on my new beloved basketball hoop that I got for Christmas. Every sane kid with any athletic ability dreamed to be Michael Jordan. But I worked at it, and realized my natural talent just wasn’t there to back up my work ethic.

But all that work got me somewhere. At least I can “play ball”. Sure, I play in the rec leagues, but at the least I can hang with guys my age. And just thinking of the entire male population, I’d have to say I’m in at least the top 35% of basketball players – that is, if we were all to have a giant one on one contest, I’d place myself at the 35^th percentile realistically. Which again, for me, is “good enough”.

Same thing with Tennis. Never thought twice about it while growing up. Looked like fun, tried it. Worked at it. Didn’t put in the same hours as I did with basketball, but I still did practice. And now I can run with people that played for 6 years throughout school – yes, they played in organized programs with coaches even.

Poker I fell in love with immediately. I can still remember the first time I lost $20 to a random group of guys less than a mile away from campus. I studied, and played, and lost some more. But during my poker heyday, I was pulling in close to a grand a month (which was a lot for me during college) and 19 people away from winning a seat to the World Series of Poker in 2005. “I coulda been a contender”.

So where am I going with this? A couple points: My dad. My dad could’ve been a contender. He’s worked his ass off for 30 years. One of his company’s best employees. And he’s seen it all. The boom and bust and the rebuild, and the layoffs, and finally he’s come to a point where he can almost retire. Really, the only reason he can’t is because my mom won’t let him. He turns 60 in May.

Before I continue the story about my dad, I’d like to mention regrets. There are those out there that say, “No regrets”. I used to be one of them. I used to try my best to live my life like that – as if every action I took I should look back on with pride and not question the route I took. But slowly I began to realize that saying to yourself that you have no regrets is fooling yourself. Ignoring your regrets, or if you don’t want me to speak for you, my regrets, sets me up for failure once again.

If I can acknowledge my regrets, I can move on, learn from my mistakes and hopefully pick the better path (notice not “right”) in the future. I have my regrets. There were things I have said and done in the past that I would change if I could. But I can’t. And having said and done those things, that places me in the position I am in today, right now. Knowing that, I’ve got to do the best with what I have left for myself at this point.

I could’ve been a contender at anything I chose. But I never felt the need to push myself that extra amount. That extra amount that contenders – those who truly love what they are working at – put in, and more. I’ve always thought, if you could say you were in the top 10% in the World – at anything – if you are better than 90% of the rest of the world at something – that really means something.

Sad to say, I think my only shot would really be breaking a world record of some sort. But still, even if I can aim for that top 25% region, I’ll be ecstatic. Obviously I’ll never meet every person in the world, but I have my peers around me to judge myself against. Averages and skill levels and ages are available on the internet at any time. As a small example I ran against 7500 other people (timed racers) in the St. Patty’s Day Dash recently. As far as my age is concerned, I was in the 46^th percentile (beating 54%). As far as other males go – I was in the 33^rd percentile. So just like everything else before, I’ve still got some work to do before I am satisfied.

Now back to my dad. My dad is 2 years away from retiring. In 2001/2002 when the stock market slumped after the terrorist attacks (and partially being overvalued/issues of fraud in major companies etc.) my dad lost more than half of his retirement money. And for those of you young people out there reading this, it may not seem like a big deal right now – mainly because you haven’t worked 25 years of your life yet to try and build something that you can hopefully live on for the rest of your life.

Here is where my regret comes in: I wish I had known. My parents asked me. I didn’t know enough. I should’ve taken the initiative. Instead I was just moved into the Seattle condo and discovering the joys of under-aged drinking. I was a stupid sophomore kid in college that didn’t give two shits about nothing except for school, drinking, basketball and girls (mainly). And that attitude continued well in to my early 20s.

My dad was 100% invested in the S&P 500 when it lost over half it’s value. He jumped ship taking with him a little over $200K and threw it in to a bond fund earning 3% a year vowing to keep what little he had left. After inflation his fund was only earning him less than 1%. Even a local bank could offer more. If I had only known, my dad’s account at a minimum right now would be close to $400K. At a minimum. It’s currently sitting at $220k with 2 years left before he wants to retire.

If I had known what I know now after only a year of extensive research on the stock market – if I had known in 2002 and given my dad advice then, I would’ve still picked a diversified mutual fund portfolio for him which would’ve turned his $200K in to close to $700K as of today. I had to just sit here for a moment to let that sink in. (Please, for those of you who laugh at a $500K difference, be thankful that you live such blessed lives. The rest of us aren’t so lucky)

And it’s been sinking in since I took the initiative 3 weeks ago. That sinking feeling – that “I wish I had known – I could’ve done something” – that terrible feeling that I could’ve been a contender – my dad could’ve been a contender. It’s harsh. And it’s what I’ve been dealing with lately.

I thought I grew up a lot after my issues in high school. I did. I grew up overnight. But I grew up for myself. My parents could’ve used my help in 2001. My dad could’ve used my help. And I regret not doing something for him. It would’ve taken literally less than an hour to change his 401K fund allocation. And 55 minutes of which would be me discussing with him why we need to take certain risks for him to get to a comfortable point.

But now, we’ve got 2 years left. 2 years left until my dad retires. I’ve got 2 years to figure out how I can get him to a point where he can live. My dad has enough capital right now to become a contender. He’ll have social security coming in, and my mom will continue to work because she loves her job (and the pay ain’t too shabby either!).

And now I get the chance to help them. Now I grow up for my parents. My dad said to me tonight that he wishes I had shown him this even 3 years ago. He was referring to his retirement company’s website which shows the yearly returns for his investment opportunities. Well I don’t get 3 years ago. I don’t even get yesterday back. I will do my best for them because this is what it’s going to take for them to live comfortably in to their old age. This is what it’s going to take so that they’re not a burden on their children if they require any kind of assisted living. And it’s not that I wouldn’t give everything for them – I would as they’ve done so for me – but I want to help now instead of looking back in 5 to 30 years and saying, “I wish…”

Sometime in the coming week I’m sitting down with both my mom and dad. And we’re going to formulate a plan. And I’ll follow through. I’ll control it. My dad was lost on it, and I needed to point them in the right direction. Hopefully I’m more wildly successful than I am realistically imagining.

Because I might get tired of being part of the working middle class. I want to live off of my money. And when it comes to money, I want to be a contender. My dad probably isn’t going to make it there, but at the least I’m going to try to insure that he has enough money to have his autumn years displayed in a golden color – Or that of his desired BMW 540.

Here’s a random Forbes articles about the top 1.5% of the top 1% of the top 1% (of top 1% - really even smaller). I would be happy if I could even get close…(Mainly I enjoyed the article title, but the article itself is a good read too IMO)

http://www.forbes.com/2007/03/20/sosnoff-bubble-burst-oped-cx_mts_0320sosnoff.html?partner=links

Here’s hoping I don’t let these thoughts keep me up any longer than they already have.

Sleep well.