Fantasy Football

*deep breath*

Yes, I actually for the first time searched my own blog to make sure I hadn't already written something about this. Sad.

For the first time this year, I am playing in more than 2 leagues. 3 to be exact. I know what you're thinking, wow big jump. Big woop.

But I can't wrap my head around it.

Around this pressure. Late at night, when I should be tired, I'm looking through player lists. Reading injury reports. Seeing how Santana Moss plays outdoor away games on turf in 20 to 40 degree weather.

Seriously?

And how much financially is this all worth? Because that's the the bottom line right? Am I not always pushing that aspect of things?

I am in 2 of my leagues with my wife.

Those league buy ins are $10 and $20. So multiply those by two and you get $60 total.

And I have one league that I am in on my own for $30.

Add all of those up and you come up with $90.

Sure, the payouts are nice...if you get 1st or 2nd in each league. Assuming I got first in each league (which I think has about a 20% probability of occurring) the payout would be $300. Not too shabby, but pretty unlikely. So actually, knowing that I have a 20% chance of winning $300 this year, I'm just going to say I'm probably going to win $60. Awesome, a loss of $30. Exactly the amount I spent to buy the wife in to these leagues...

We are currently in our 15th week. In fact, Chicago just beat New Orleans in overtime in a Thursday night roller coaster 27 to 24. Darn, because I just picked New Orleans to win that game earlier in my weekly NFL pick 'em I do with my friends (which is actually worth more than all my fantasy leagues combined dollar wise).

Anyway, every weekend, or throughout the week after Thursday night football starts, I sit down at the laptop, browse my current line up, figure out good matchups, good combos, take mental note of the star players my opponents are starting. I move players around, add and drop players, maybe pick up possible starters or up and coming rookies. All in total the time I spend on adjusting my fantasy line ups and reading fantasy football related news comes close to an hour every week. Which is assuming I've got something else going on in the background (reading emails/watching TV/listening to music) therefore not concentrating 100% on my team.

Now, while I was in Charleston the Hawks were not broadcast locally (except for at least one game that was nationally broadcast). So because of that I "had" to go to the local bar - D I G represent! - to catch my hawks along with 5 other games.

It was beautiful. Cheering for a lot of my players while simultaneously cheering against other players.

But all the while, there was that little stressor in the back of my mind.

C'mon Zorn! How do you run that in with Betts after Portis gets you there!

ARGGG another TD for Vincent Jackson...

Ugh, should've started Big Ben this weekend instead of Romo

And I can't decide if Fantasy Football has made the game more enjoyable for me, or made me an absolute slave to it.

Because, here's the kicker - it's not just money I'm playing for. In fact, I guess I should've included that at the beginning. Heck, I could be playing for a nickel in each league and I'd still be trying just as hard...why? Because it's about respect.

Fantasy Football is typically filled with guys. Out of my 3 leagues one of them is completely male, and another only has 1 female - which is the wife.

And guys earn respect by competing with other men. Well, at least some of us do. You beat me, I tried my best, you earn my respect.

But here's the problem with that in Fantasy Football. You can control your line up until the first whistle to each game blows. After that, it's completely out of your hands.

So, you do your best with what you have post draft. You scrounge the free agent bin for strays that people missed in the draft or for possible breakout seasons. Maybe a star player got hurt in the first week *cough Tom Brady cough* and now there's suddenly an opening at QB on your roster? You try your best to put together your best starting team given the players that are available for you.

And you win or lose completely based off of nothing you do while the game is actually occurring. Now, if there were live Fantasy Football where you could bench players on the spot and the online fantasy leagues could give you the ability to play any available WR for 60 minutes (assuming Randy Moss was hot late in the 4th quarter you could pull him up for 8 minutes for one of your WR slots) - wow, what an idea.

But, we don't have that. That would be way too involved. Not that it isn't already.

What I'm trying to get to though is that I can't control the fact that Brian Westbrook puts up 30 points a game for the last 3 games and then *crosses fingers* somehow rolls his ankle on the 2nd hand off from scrimmage. It's not the same in other sports I compete in where I almost have complete control over what happens in the game I am playing. I can at least control how I am playing.

I just get to feeling so helpless it's sad. Adrian Peterson puts up 10 points last week in a winning effort and I'm disgruntled because he was projected for 17. Clinton Portis falls off the past few weeks and then comes out with some strong words about his coach.

Great. So after putting in way too much time thinking, discussing and analyzing all of this it's come down to this.

Week 15.

The first week of playoffs in 2 of my 3 leagues. After drafting 2nd out of 10, 7th out of 10 and 7th out of 8 I go in to the playoffs in 2nd place, 4th place, and 3rd place respectively. I've had a solid year, and from my mostly male dominated leagues have been given respect. (At least I think I have - you know guys, we don't communicate well). But the cream has risen to the top. And now I'm playing guys that I also respect. Why? Because they've put in the same work as I have. Some have even made double the number of moves I've made. They've beat me during the regular season and have put up some scary numbers.

In the two playoff games I face this weekend I am projected to score less than my opponents. In the league I am 4th in I face the 1st seed. I am projected to score 100 points and him 125. He had Colston and Forte tonight and combined they were projected to score 26 points. Together they scored 26 points. Great. I'm playing for 3rd in that league.

In the other playoff game I am also an underdog but not by as much. 95 to 100. I'm going to need big games from Jason Campbell, Santana Moss, Dominic Rhodes, Adam Vinateri, and Indiniapolis's defense. Yes. I do have all of them starting for these 2 playoff teams. Pretty amazing how that happened.

So, good luck to my players. I'll need at least one big performance from somebody. Because making it to the playoffs is one thing. But actually getting paid for all of this "work" is another thing.

And that is exactly why I love and hate fantasy football.