Half dumb

About a month ago something happened to my ears.

I went from hearing perfectly (or at least as well as I had my previous year of life) to hearing almost nothing. It was a scary time. Both of my ears had clogged and I could only hear about 20% of my normal abilities.

Since then my right ear has completely come back, but my left ear (the one that had previously ruptured) has barely come back at all. You know that feeling when you get water in your ear and in won't come out? Maybe you might be hearing a bit of a ringing in your ear, or you can hear your own breathing or the crunching of food? That's constant for me on my left side.

So on my left side I can barely hear anything.

It's tough because in the morning if I'm sleeping left ear up I won't hear my alarm going off. When people sit to the left of me I usually have to ask them to repeat themselves or speak up if they're speaking too quietly.

Suddenly when I'm riding in the car I miss a lot of "left speaker" things and have to turn the TV up a bit to make sure I'm catching everything that is said.

Last night at dinner I was watching people's lips and wondering if I could develop a skill for reading lips. It'd seem like a pretty fun skill to have - being able to read lips when you can't hear what a person is saying across the room.

One of the weird things about this is that I'm not scared at all. I'm not afraid that I'll lose the hearing in my left ear. And I know I should get checked by an Ear, Nose and Throat doctor but I've just been lazy. In some ways, not being able to hear out of my left side has kind of made me change a few things in my life already:

-I talk less because I don't really want to hear my own voice in my head - and I don't really want to have to strain to hear others talk.

-I try to get the most immediate, relevant information out of people. Not being able to hear very well gives me the ability to more easily ignore the standard fluff that people spout off.

-I'm reading more than usual. It's the only way to get words in and out without being annoyed.

-My ears don't multitask as much. Sometimes I might get distracted by a conversation in the distance, a cell phone ringing, a police siren or even a song playing in the background. Not so much anymore - my brain for some reason is now focusing much better on whatever is in front of me.

-Call me half dumb but the world is a lot more dull when you can't hear half of what is going on. So for that reason alone I'm hoping this goes away soon. I know someone who went through the same thing (not sure about the ruptured ear drum - but definitely loss of hearing) and they have to go through a couple surgeries just to get 70% hearing back.

And I'm not so sure 70% is good enough for me.