A little sweat.

Tonight, my palms sweat a little. Hold on, I gotta check to see if the rice is still cooking. Ok, back. The rice was STILL in fact cooking. Well, not really cooking but on the “keep warm” mode. That means that it’s done cooking…well, don’t ask me actually, I’m not really sure exactly how the rice maker works, other than the fact that it makes rice by heating up.

Back to the palms. This weekend has been pretty ugly gambling wise. I’m so glad I get to admit it to someone…this blog at the least, because complaining about it to other people who don’t gamble and even those that do probably don’t care to listen, think I’m a complete idiot, etc. blah blah blah. I don’t really like to other people whine, so I don’t try to whine to them. At least, petty whining about stuff that is preventable. So, party poker puts up a blackjack portion of their site. Shit. I’m screwed. And I did. I really did screw myself. But you know what though? Not really. Because since I got home from Vegas, I’m still up a RIDICULOUS amount playing blackjack. And it wasn’t my money that I lost either. That’s the scary thing.

Either way, back story: Party poker and multiple online gaming sites provide bonuses to their players just for playing. Yes, they give you money to play with. Why? They figure most of you are going to lose anyway, so might as well give them some extra money to lose. A lot of people deposit too just to get those bonuses. I am one of them. Playing break even poker I make roughly $22 an hour playing bonuses on Party poker. When I’m losing anywhere between $10-$15 an hour and when I’m winning I’ve seen upwards of $50 per hour. Well, the past 3 days I’ve been playing on Edz’s account. It’s my money, but I don’t think about it as such. In May I gave Elvin $500 for his account, and 5 months later it was $1700. Hell of a return if you ask me. $600 of it I used for Vegas, $350 of it I just lost tonight. So let’s see, that should put his account at roughly $750. Still up $250 for 6 months? Eh. Not bad, if we’re talking interest. And that’s $250 for 25 hours of work. I should be $1850 for 25 hours of work, but it’s not due to aforementioned spending/losses. Today, I worked the bonus, got finished, decided to play a bit…not just a bit, decided to play it ALL. Got up. Got down. Got up. Got down. Got down. Got broke. That’s about exactly how it went. But remember, this isn’t my bank account. That’s the thing. I don’t look at this thing at all. I can’t withdraw from it at any time. The sad thing is, I’ve got 4 accounts like this. At least a grand in each of them, and one with $2200 in it. So much of my money spread out. And I think, after 1 more $100 losing session at blackjack, I’m done with it.

So, let’s go over the rough numbers (because I know you all care so much) I don’t really, but it’s something to talk about at 1 am on a Sunday night when I’ve got nothing better to do. And thinking about money is interesting to me. In Vegas, I lost $3700. When I got home, I won $4800, $1000 of which I left online. That grand is currently $280. The sad thing is, any money that is online ISN’T MY MONEY. I tell myself, I am more than willing to lose it, and if it’s gone, so be it. So, since Vegas, since September, I’m up $100. HAH! That is a joke. BUT, since my GOOD Vegas trip, I’m up overall. And that’s what counts, is the long haul. So this little weekend stint where I lost $500 isn’t really counting I’ve decided. It did make my palms sweat, and I’ve got 4 more accounts to play hopefully for a minimum of a $400 return.

Wow, that’s a lot of talk about online gambling and money. HOW BORING. *Yawn*

Let’s go over my last two weekends: Boring. Sit at home. Sleep. Nap. Watch TV. Watch TV until sleepy and then nap. Drink a glass of champagne to feel like you’re having a mini party for yourself. Surf the net. Punch the punching bag. Shower, sleep. Itch. Complain. Pay for food. Pay a lot for food. Worry about money. Drive, far. 2 hours round trip. Worry about gas, in turn worry about money. Enjoy fall leaves. Be depressed about not partying. Think about losing weight. Think about everyone drinking right now. Think about how the glass of champagne wasn’t enough to fool myself, but it is making me tired. Sleep. Wake up in the middle of the night not able to sleep. Gamble. Be sad while listening to Damien Rice’s “Cannonball”. Send a text message at 1 am to people who know the song. Get one reply and one jealous girlfriend. Question life. Stare at the ceiling. Be numb. Wear colors that don’t show dandruff. Realize you’re going to get 6 hours of sleep tonight. Maybe less if you keep writing. Not care. Sneeze. Blow your nose, look at the snot, throw snot rag away. Vacuum. Eat cake. Desire to be elsewhere, doing other things. Daydream. Walk the dog, carry the dog, laugh at carrying the dog, run away from bears in the forest, but not really bears, probably a squirrel falling out of a tree. Eat Costco hotdogs. Eat Mongolian grill. Huskies bye and a rare Seahawks win in a different house. What not to wear, nudity and more sleeping. A hurried exit. A short phone call. Text messages. Sweaty palms. Boredom quickly followed by depression. And, here we are, catharsis. So good to be writing again, although I wish it was in my journal. Ah well, this will have to do. Do I write too much? Do I write too little? This quote always runs through my head, it’s one that often bothers me too: “If you’re bored, you’re boring”. If A, thus B. Unfortunately, I must be. Sleep is the only thing I can do to avoid it I think.