*Sigh*

C’mon.

Think of something to write.

I know that I’ve had so many ideas for subjects, topics to talk about, things to be celebrated and other things to complain about. But every time I thought of something to put in here, I thought to myself how I probably couldn’t put more than a paragraph in to it. And therefore couldn’t live up to some ridiculous standard that I set for myself in this blog that each post I put up has to be at least 3 pages long, single spaced.

Last week I noticed I was starting to nap a lot more than my usual amount. (Which is about 2 naps per week – Friday afternoon and Saturday afternoon). And then when coming out of the nap I wasn’t really able to jump out of bed like I normally do. Usually when coming out of bed, I am able to just stand up, get my clothes on, stretch, maybe yawn…and just go.

Then I noticed the stomach cramps. Then the black stool (sorry, gross, I know, but my blog). And I knew it had come. Just like all the previous years. Just like my other problems – mainly the alopecia.

Every 2 or 3 years or so, the acid in my stomach burns a hole through the stomach lining…therefore creating – you guessed it – an ulcer. I attribute it to stress, I attribute it to not eating as healthy as I should be – I attribute it to a bacteria called “h. pylori” (sp). If you’re really bored you can look it up (on wikipedia) and be grossed out just by knowing me. But it’s something I’ve had since I was about 13 or so – and as much as we try and fight it with antibiotics, it always makes it’s way back in to my life.

So I guess this has turned in to “let’s learn about something weird about Seth’s body night”. Oh well, something to write about. And here’s the main point I want to make: Ladies, I know what cramps feel like. My bleeding ulcer I guarantee hurts about as bad as your cramps do, if not worse. It won’t let me sleep.

I get abnormally tired from the blood loss. Being tired makes me moody. I have problems focusing.

I am a mess.

Luckily I know how to fight it...and it’s slowly starting to work. Take an acid reducer like Prilosec (which is what I’ve been taking the past week) and also take in some iron (from something like Centrum) to help with the blood loss.

But until my stomach stops hurting, it sucks. I know, I know, I should go see the doctor. I will, soon. Of course not tomorrow or the day after that - I’m just so stubborn.

On the way home and on the way to work recently I’ve been listening to NPR. I would listen to it on and off throughout the years – jazz being the first thing to draw me in – but over the past few weeks it has been the only station on in my car. I’ve been thinking about pledging some money to their station (and I’d recommend anyone else reading this to do likewise) because they are a publicly funded radio station. I realized those few minutes of joy I receive getting “enlightened” every day is actually worth something to me.

And they made a good point last night (while I was listening on the way to my basketball game). The cable company tells you how much to pay. And then they basically tell you what to watch (you have a choice of what is available from their lineup). Just like the other utilities. They tell you how much the service is; then they take your money. NPR is free for everyone to enjoy. And they don’t force you to put a price on it. But since both my company and my wife’s company matches the contribution, I’ll be giving NPR a good donation for what I feel on most of the days I work are the smartest part of the day – actually listening to that station. (88.5). Actually, the only thing I don’t like is the Saturday night blues – since I’m not a huge fan of blues. Fun to play, but not that fun to listen to. And who is freaking listening to NPR anyway on a Saturday night?

A nerd like me.

So if you wanted to check it out (if you haven’t already), I’m a huge fan of “All Things Considered”. http://www.kplu.org/home2.html That’s the website for those that would like to check it out/donate. The best way I can put it is that their programs are informative but at the same time highly entertaining (again for a semi-nerd like me). The best mix for something to keep my attention I’ve found.

The reason I wanted to mention NPR is that they’ve been doing an afternoon series on what’s going on in the Middle East. It’s such heartbreaking stuff to hear from the kids caught up in the mess of things – Iraqi teenagers who don’t understand the war and just want to hang out with their friends and play soccer. On the way home today I heard a story about a group of officers serving in Iraq. They were talking about how they swore never to leave a fallen soldier behind. A few months ago, they were attacked and two of the men in their group were held hostage. Since then, they have been searching day and night to find them. They think the villagers know where the men are – but since it has been so long and they’ve had no luck they’re just presuming those two soldiers as dead.

A 19 and 24 year old.

And yes, it is an emotional story – but the reason I wanted to share it here is because it gives me a little perspective. Owww – my stomach hurts. But at least I’m not over there fighting or losing one of my best friends. It almost makes me feel lucky that that is the worst part of what’s going on in my life right now.

The *sigh* though is just how I’m feeling lately. Work has gotten a lot tougher – the stomach thing – and now the cold and dark are back for the next 8 months. On Sunday I took the dog out for a run and everyone was out in our neighborhood – which is rare because most of the time this neighborhood feels like a ghost town. (Suburbs = Isolation) Families were walking, people were playing ping pong and badminton, and kids were riding their bikes. I think everyone realized like I did that this was probably going to be the last day of warm weather we were going to get. I would be pleasantly surprised if I got at least one more day in of being able to run outside in my basketball shorts and feel comfortable.

If that was the last day we get – it was a good end to what was not that great of a summer (weather wise). Thanks for trying though.