That One Grey Hair

Yes, I will be using “grey” throughout this post because it looks cooler than “gray”. Just like the words “Theatre” and “Favourite”. However, “greying” is not acceptable in Word spell check, so I’ll be using “graying” later on (neither is favourite).

Atop of my head stands one grey hair. I’m sure I’ve got other grey hairs on my head, but for some reason, this one just stands out. Only people who have stared at me for hours of time (not sure why they would, but they have) know it’s there. Or at least people who have looked at my head closely enough.

If you do look close enough, you can find it. It’s at the pinnacle of my scalp. Probably at the highest point of my head, which is why it sticks out.

Like a lightning bolt shooting down through a darkened forest.

I’m not sure when it first showed up. I think I can remember seeing it as early as 2 years ago. And this is my blog post dedicated to it. Silly, I know, but I didn’t have much time to write and I wanted something that wasn’t so serious.

I once thought of pulling it. In fact, some days I want to.

Recently though, I’ve come up with all sorts of theories on it. Why I only have one grey hair on my head – at least that I can see.

And since I only have one, I guess I shouldn’t pull it. I’ve sort of grown a little proud of it. Also, I’m worried that if I pull it, one will sprout up elsewhere. And I won’t have the ability to locate that one grey hair on my head…unless the grey hair just moves a follicle over.

I remember watching my aunt pull my uncle’s grey hair out. He had a few dozen grey hairs at least on his head, but it wasn’t the “salt and pepper” – you know George Clooney look. I remember thinking to myself while I watched her pull at his head that soon he would be bald if she kept pulling them.

My one grey hair represents what another person’s God may represent to them. Release. I’ve heard that people who go through major physical traumas (like a stroke) can suddenly go from a full head of brown hair to all grey (or even white). All of that stress on the body can really change you, and it reflects in your hair obviously. I’ve never seen it myself – but I have seen what the years have done to my parent’s generation and their hair. Heck, I’ve even seen what age has done to my older friends, one who is 28, and like my uncle should get his grey hairs pulled out. They look odd being scattered amongst his head.

Why my one hair represents release to me is for this reason: When I’m feeling somewhat overwhelmed or stressed, I’ll look in the mirror and see that hair. And it’s almost like I can funnel all that burdens me in to that one hair. In my mind, things get a little better. Since the hair is grey already, I’m sure it wouldn’t mind taking on a little more. Whatever works right? And maybe it’s not just that I funnel it, it’s like I know it’s there so I’ve got a little outlet for all that ails me.

I also like to imagine that this will work for years to come. Unfortunately (maybe I’m looking too closely) I’ve noticed that my hair line is starting to recede. Both of my grandpas were bald. My dad is bald. Even my wife’s dad is balding. Really I have no chance of keeping any cover for this huge noggin. World, I apologize in advance, but there’s going to be a lot of reflection coming off of this massive gourd.

As a kid I was taunted as having such a huge head that I looked like a watermelon on a tooth pick. Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will forever plague me until I’m paying $200 an hour to a shrink. My mom always talks about how she was in labor for 18 hours and they tried to suck my out but then pushed me back in and finally c-sectioned. Sorry mom. To this day I am still tormented – but it’s not that bad because I’ve still got my hair to cover it. And I am hoping that I’ve got enough of a timeline left in this hair that I won’t be laughed at for another 7-10 years. I mean at least give me that. Maybe by that time they’ll have extensions for men, but not really extensions, just good looking hair that isn’t as bad as plugs, or an all out toupee.

Maybe it’s kids that bring the balding/graying of hair? That’s possible.

I had a dream about 2 weeks ago where I looked in the mirror and my hair had become that salt and pepper color. It didn’t look too bad. For a few years there my dad used “just for men” hair color. You could tell when it was fading because you could see the grey in his hair coming in…but then all of the sudden the next day his hair was jet black. I swear, who do we honestly think we’re fooling? Watching him do that every month I promised myself I would wear my grey hair with pride. And I will. It took years to get that badge of stress and old age, and I’m going to wear it well (hopefully).

Isn’t it weird to have just one grey hair though? And have it for so long without any other grey hairs showing up? I swear I haven’t seen another one on my head. Maybe there’s a name for this condition…if it is a condition.

And it’ll be just my luck that tomorrow I’ll wake up and they’ve multiplied. My one grey hair knew I was thinking/writing about him and he had to wake up the rest of his buddies.

Well done me.