The Awesomeness That Is My Life

As I was sitting there scraping off the fried coconut/batter that made up over half of what were microwave reheated coconut shrimps I was thinking to myself about how awesome my life was.

There I was, 10 minutes ago, 11:30 pm on a Tuesday night sitting at a dinner table alone in the middle of a retirement community in the middle of Florida...eating leftover red lobster. Leftovers that weren't even mine to begin with. I only like coconut shrimp when I can barely taste the coconut. So most of the coconut shrimps? I don't like too much. This was one of those cases.

I was thinking to myself how I must be a disgrace to those that came before me because I'm sure they loved coconut. My parents love it. I'm not a huge fan of the taste. Just like watermelon. People think I'm crazy not to like watermelon. Well I think some people are crazy for not liking to eat meat with the bone still in it.

We're down here to help support my last surviving grandma. Well, she is a grandma by law to me, but still I consider her family.

Her husband passed away on Thursday morning. Which was a bit of a blow to me because we had just seen him the Sunday before.

And I was kicking myself after hearing that news.

The guy had seen a lot. And due to cancer in the past he had to eat through a tube and that made it hard for him to talk. I'm sure he would've loved to share a lot of his knowledge with me. From what I had heard from the rest of the family, he was a great investor, and to this day even after his death he still has money outperforming the market. I wanted to pick his brain for a good 30 minutes at least on what he thought of what was going on. And now I'll never get the chance to.

So if you think I was being facetious regarding the whole coconut shrimp bit, I wasn't. Life could always be worse. Or life can be over before you know or expect it.

Sometimes I step outside of myself - this may sound odd - but I almost look at it if I was being taped as part of a reality show.

-Here's Seth reading his book in bed...

*stomach rumbling*

"I'm starving. This is what happens when I eat dinner at 5 pm."

*Seth stumbles through the dark looking for the light switch in a house where he is not familiar with the placement of furniture and more importantly light switches. He touches a glass framed painting and has a moment of panic when he realizes that the painting could fall to the floor busting the glass in to shards and cutting up his feet. He brings it a step further and imagines his wife and her grandma in the local emergency room, looking over him and sighing as a doctor is stitching up his foot. They are surrounded by other senior citizens suffering from similar ailments. What a clumsy bunch. Finally he finds a light switch...woops wrong light...and finally...*

So the grandma has a thing with leftovers. You could say that about me too. I love leftovers. I will eat things up to about a week and couple days later. And I'll still think they're good. Something about leftovers hopefully reminds you of when you were first eating it. Or maybe not.

Well, "grammie" as they call her is the exact opposite. She would rather chuck it down the disposal than box it up and put it in the fridge. I think since we've been down here on Sunday, it's been the first time she's had leftovers in the fridge. How can that be possible you might ask? Lots of sandwiches.

So the wife tells me to "eat those shrimp so that grammie can stop complaining about them tomorrow". Hunger + food available = no more hunger.

Luckily for me there was also a baked potato from the red lobster meal that could serve as my carb. Unluckily for me while I was microwaving the whole bit the shrimp started popping and I had to shut the whole thing down. And what did that mean? Cold ass potato. So the whole time I'm struggling with trying to cut the coconut breading off of this shrimp the dog comes out, nose in the air, wondering what the eff I'm doing up at this time...but I'm eating so she's interested.

Unfortunately I couldn't even pawn off the cold potato on her either.

And yes, I was too lazy to put it back in the microwave. 'Tever, I wasn't that hungry after trying to throw down a few shrimp (with ketchup nonetheless!) anyway. Hah - and the best part of this post? The whole reason I am writing it is because I have this whole deal about eating and then going straight to bed. I feel like food won't digest as well (and I have read things about eating before going to bed - and how we shouldn't) since I'm in a horizontal position. So I stay up for at least 30 minutes after eating (just like how I don't go swimming for 30 minutes after eating) to make sure everything is OK before hitting the sack. That is unless I'm wasted. And if that's the case sometimes I'll catch myself sleeping on the toilet.

And that is why my life is awesome. I find this almost inexplicable joy in thinking about my thoughts or thinking about how ridiculous I would seem doing things that feel normal to me. Yes. All this from a plate of leftovers.