Tuesdays suck

I hate Tuesdays. I can't sleep.

Here is my favorite joke for your enjoyment. I don't claim any responsibility over it, and I definitely didn't come up with it on my own.

The new law was that, in order to get into Heaven, you had to have had
a really bummer day the day you died.  The policy would go into effect
at noon the following day.

So the next day at 12:01 the first person came to the gates of Heaven.

The angel at the gate, remembering about the new law, promptly asked
the man, "Before I can let you in, I need you to tell me how your day
was going around the time you died."

"No problem," said the man.  "Well, I came home one day to my 25th
floor apartment on my lunch hour and caught my wife having an affair.
But the lover was nowhere insight.  I immediately began searching for
this guy.  My wife was half naked and yelling at me as I searched the
entire apartment.

But, damn it, I couldn't find him!  Just as I was about to give up, I
happened to glance out onto the balcony and noticed that there was a
man hanging off the edge by his fingertips!  The nerve of that guy!
Well, I ran out there and promptly stomped on his fingers until he
fell to the ground. But, wouldn't you know it, he landed in some
bushes that broke his fall, and he didn't die.  This pissed me off
even more.  In a rage I went back inside to get the first thing I
could get my hands on to throw at him. And, oddly enough, the first
thing I thought of was the refrigerator.  I unplugged it, pushed it
out onto the balcony and heaved it over the side. It plummeted 25
stories and crushed him! The excitement of the moment was so great
that right after that I had a heart attack and I died almost
instantly."

The angel sat back and thought for a moment.  Technically, the guy did
have a bad day, and it was a crime of passion, so he announced, "OK
sir, welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and let him in.

A few seconds later the next guy came up.  "OK, here's the rule.
Before I can let you in, I need to hear about the day you had.
"Sure thing," the man replied. "But you're not gonna believe this. I
was out on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily
exercises when I got a little carried away and accidentally fell over
the side!  Luckily, however, I was able  to catch myself by my
fingertips on the balcony directly beneath mine.  When all of a sudden
this crazy man comes running out of his apartment and starts cussing
and stomping on my fingers!  Well of course I fell.  I hit some trees
and bushes on the way down which broke my fall so I didn't die right
away.  As I'm laying there face up on the ground, unable to move and
in excruciating pain, I see the man push his refrigerator, of all
things, over the ledge and it falls directly on top of me and kills
me!"

The angel is quietly laughing to himself as the man finishes his
story.  "I could get used to this new policy," he thinks to himself.

"Very well," the angel announces. "Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven,"
and he lets the man enter.

A few seconds later the third man in line comes up to the gate.  "Tell
me about the day you died," said the angel.

"OK. Picture this," says the man. "I'm naked inside a refrigerator..."